Life's greatest problem solved by MIT

[BrokenVisage]

Ketchup is tasty.

fixed that for ya, just had to change one letter too so you surely must have mis-typed it. Now mustard and mayonnaise... I stay away from that shit like the plague, yuck.

 

[eits]

pointless. just use the squeeze bottles of ketchup.

 

[sixone]

pointless. just use the squeeze bottles of ketchup.

No, spend large amounts of money to reinvent the wheel!!

 

[lxskllr]

really? FDA is pretty good and strigent as far as I know. Some products turn out less safe than thought, but you gotta consider the sheer volume of products they approve

The FDA, like the rest of government has been bought by corporations. They give lip service to safety, but their primary job is keeping their masters happy.

 

[sixone]

The FDA, like the rest of government has been bought by corporations. They give lip service to safety, but their primary job is keeping their masters happy.

Much like your Energy Star ratings. Absolutely worthless.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Any fix for the flatulence sound the cap orifice makes when it's nearly empty?

D:

That's the best part of the ketchup experience. When I get a new bottle of ketchup, the first thing I do is dump 90% of that shit directly into the trash. What do I want with a condiment that doesn't imitate bodily functions when you use it? Nothing, that's what!

 

[dank69]

Life's greatest problem? Seriously?

Yes.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

really? FDA is pretty good and strigent as far as I know. Some products turn out less safe than thought, but you gotta consider the sheer volume of products they approve

allowing safe products to get to market is not their useful function. keeping harmful products OFF the market would be. IMO harmful products wont survive in the market regardless so its basically just wasted time and money. you could argue that they would save lives by keeping harmful products away from the public, but i dont know if there is evidence to support that. not to mention, if that is a rare occurrence, its still probably not worth the expensive bureaucracy.

 

[dank69]

allowing safe products to get to market is not their useful function. keeping harmful products OFF the market would be. IMO harmful products wont survive in the market regardless so its basically just wasted time and money. you could argue that they would save lives by keeping harmful products away from the public, but i dont know if there is evidence to support that. not to mention, if that is a rare occurrence, its still probably not worth the expensive bureaucracy.

Yeah once a few hundred people drop dead we should be able to narrow down the cause. Let God sort it out.

 

[Miramonti]

This will be costly as unknowing consumers flood their plate (more than normal) with ketchup. Ketchup eaters are generally slow learners too.

 

[Rubycon]

This will be costly as unknowing consumers flood their plate (more than normal) with ketchup. Ketchup eaters are generally slow learners too.

Changing the orifice (which may explain the noises it makes when air mixes in given it's similar to an anus) can prevent this. Next is to eliminate the deluge of diluted catsup (this happens with mustard too!) that squirts out first. Shaking the bottle first helps reduce it but most just grab and squeeze before realizing they made that mistake and have a soggy wizzed on bun full of catsup or mustard juice! D:

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Changing the orifice (which may explain the noises it makes when air mixes in given it's similar to an anus) can prevent this. Next is to eliminate the deluge of diluted catsup (this happens with mustard too!) that squirts out first. Shaking the bottle first helps reduce it but most just grab and squeeze before realizing they made that mistake and have a soggy wizzed on bun full of catsup or mustard juice! D:

Everything about this paragraph just ruined ketchup for me.

 

[Phoenix86]

Any fix for the flatulence sound the cap orifice makes when it's nearly empty?

D:

Why would you want to fix that?


edit: in fact can we add this to more products?

 

[sandorski]

Cool, but does it work for Mustard? Mustard is far worse for sticking.

 

[Rubycon]

Why would you want to fix that?


edit: in fact can we add this to more products?

Some folks find it highly disturbing to hear "sounds of gastronomical disturbance" [sic] at the dinner table.

OTOH I've recorded quite a bit of this phenomenon from various bottles - some shampoo bottles work even better due to the elevated surface tension of the medium. Doing a pitch transpose downward and playing it through a capable system can make some frightening noises only eclipsed by human imagination.

EDIT: High speed (10,000+ fps) recording of the action of these orifices when "farting" would be interesting. D:

 

[Red Squirrel]

I did not realize they still made glass bottles. That's kind of cool. Wonder if this stuff works as good on plastic.

In fact I wonder how good it works on ABS. Could coat the inside of the main stack so poop can flow better to the city and not cause a clog. Especially those caulk like poops that come out and just want to stick to everything.

 

[MotionMan]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_vssdys8lk

MotionMan

 

[Ichinisan]

I'm excited about the related mayonnaise video.

 

[The Boston Dangler]

that coating should go on toilets and sinks too.

 

[The Boston Dangler]

Changing the orifice (which may explain the noises it makes when air mixes in given it's similar to an anus) can prevent this. Next is to eliminate the deluge of diluted catsup (this happens with mustard too!) that squirts out first. Shaking the bottle first helps reduce it but most just grab and squeeze before realizing they made that mistake and have a soggy wizzed on bun full of catsup or mustard juice! D:

i always send the first 1/2 squeeze down the sink. hugely wasteful, but i can't accept a soggy whizzed-upon burger and bun.

 

[Rubycon]

i always send the first 1/2 squeeze down the sink. hugely wasteful, but i can't accept a soggy whizzed-upon burger and bun.

Better play it safe and flush the line than have a soggy bun. I suppose if you do it enough you can get good enough to predict where it's going to come and make sure the juice lands on the wiener only keeping the bun dry.

 

[lxskllr]

i always send the first 1/2 squeeze down the sink. hugely wasteful, but i can't accept a soggy whizzed-upon burger and bun.

Shake it first, sheesh... On the final shake, you use a sharp stop on the downward motion, so it all goes to the end. I don't use ketchup, and I've decided I despise squeeze bottles, so I only get mustard in a jar. Whenever things get made superficially easier by manufacturers, there's always unintended consequences that make them harder over the long term, or wasteful.

 

[DAPUNISHER]

Better play it safe and flush the line than have a soggy bun. I suppose if you do it enough you can get good enough to predict where it's going to come and make sure the juice lands on the wiener only keeping the bun dry.

Giggity!

 

[IAteYourMother]

allowing safe products to get to market is not their useful function. keeping harmful products OFF the market would be. IMO harmful products wont survive in the market regardless so its basically just wasted time and money. you could argue that they would save lives by keeping harmful products away from the public, but i dont know if there is evidence to support that. not to mention, if that is a rare occurrence, its still probably not worth the expensive bureaucracy.

Harmful products won't survive the market? Consumers are pretty ignorant twits that will often just buy whatever the label claims it does and whatever is cheapest. The only way your argument could make any sense is some libertarian argument where a private company informs consumers and becomes a de facto regulator, but it still won't have the regulatory power/access because it will be more profitable for offending companies to mislead those regulators.

 

[AMCRambler]

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/03/2...stick-coating-the-wait-and-waste-is-over.html

They're still talking about this breakthrough 3 years later. There must be some type of catch to it. Like the lubricant is seriously cost prohibitive to produce or ends up breaking down/mixing with the contents over time losing its effectiveness. I haven't seen it touted on any of the food containers we have. Disappointing because this seems like a genuinely good idea.