letting go hurts so, so much

[slugg]

We went out for almost 2 years. Before her, i THOUGHT i fell in love before... but this was totally different - it was an unbelieveable feeling (when all was good). I really, really loved her with all my heart and i still do. I'm trying not to but its not easy. It's been 4 months of BOTH of us trying to hold on to eachother, but its just simply not working. Now looking back, that was 4 months of complete suffering. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just let go? Why COULDN'T I let go?! There's a whole long story to go along with it, but why bother. Yea, i'm only 18, im sure you're all going to say that this is a mere blip in my life, which realistically speaking you'd all probably be right, but it doesnt mean that letting go doesnt hurt. This is the worst pain I could ever imagine. For 4 months now I've been soooo depressed beyond comprehension. Sorry if I'm a bore.

 

[imported_bum]

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most

The thread title made me think of this song, so now I'm listening to it. You should too.

edit: Now that I'm in the mood, next on the list is James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover.

Never been through a break-up like that, but I imagine those songs would hit home in one way or another.

 

[sisq0kidd]

Originally posted by: bum
Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most

The thread title made me think of this song, so now I'm listening to it. You should too.

And then when you find someone else:

Rascal Flatts - God Bless the Broken Road

 

[MichaelD]

Love stinks. But remember a few things. It's better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all. And most importantly: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. :thumbsup:

 

[imported_Phil]

Originally posted by: MichaelD
Love stinks. But remember a few things. It's better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all. And most importantly: The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. :thumbsup:

Damnit, that's where I've been going wrong.
Got any phone numbers of loose chicks in the UK?

 

[maziwanka]

Originally posted by: sisq0kidd

Originally posted by: bum
Rascal Flatts - What Hurts the Most

The thread title made me think of this song, so now I'm listening to it. You should too.

And then when you find someone else:

Rascal Flatts - God Bless the Broken Road

and then "Life is a Highway"

hahaha

 

[Conky]

ahh, puppy love is the most painful. :brokenheart:

You will toughen up and get calloused eventually after enough bruises on your heart.

Take care. :beer:

P.S. Avoid music for a few weeks. You never realize how many flippin lovesongs there are until you have a broken heart.

 

[FallenHero]

Love is for suckers! I just buy things to make me happy...and they don't talk back either!

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

Originally posted by: FallenHero
Love is for suckers! I just buy things to make me happy...and they don't talk back either!

That's actually kind of sad.

 

[slugg]

Originally posted by: Crazyfool
ahh, puppy love is the most painful. :brokenheart:

You will toughen up and get calloused eventually after enough bruises on your heart.

Take care. :beer:

P.S. Avoid music for a few weeks. You never realize how many flippin lovesongs there are until you have a broken heart.

I just had to laugh, cuz you're so right! I never noticed how many damn love songs there are. It's almost annoying. Even INSTRUMENTAL music is thought provoking, and you can guess what I think of. Only problem is, I'm a musician! LOL! Good thing I'm into jazz though, at least its happy

 

[FallenHero]

Originally posted by: Whoozyerdaddy

Originally posted by: FallenHero
Love is for suckers! I just buy things to make me happy...and they don't talk back either!

That's actually kind of sad.

Don't knock it till you've tried it!

(I'm just kidding btw)

 

[dmcowen674]

Originally posted by: slugg
We went out for almost 2 years. Before her, i THOUGHT i fell in love before... but this was totally different - it was an unbelieveable feeling (when all was good). I really, really loved her with all my heart and i still do. I'm trying not to but its not easy. It's been 4 months of BOTH of us trying to hold on to eachother, but its just simply not working. Now looking back, that was 4 months of complete suffering. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just let go? Why COULDN'T I let go?! There's a whole long story to go along with it, but why bother. Yea, i'm only 18, im sure you're all going to say that this is a mere blip in my life, which realistically speaking you'd all probably be right, but it doesnt mean that letting go doesnt hurt. This is the worst pain I could ever imagine. For 4 months now I've been soooo depressed beyond comprehension. Sorry if I'm a bore.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

 

[Atomicus]

I think its time to register on MySpace

/wrists

 

[xSkyDrAx]

Same thing happened to me at your age..which was like a year ago. Anyhoo you get over it Just be on the lookout for someone else.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: dmcowen674

Originally posted by: slugg
We went out for almost 2 years. Before her, i THOUGHT i fell in love before... but this was totally different - it was an unbelieveable feeling (when all was good). I really, really loved her with all my heart and i still do. I'm trying not to but its not easy. It's been 4 months of BOTH of us trying to hold on to eachother, but its just simply not working. Now looking back, that was 4 months of complete suffering. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just let go? Why COULDN'T I let go?! There's a whole long story to go along with it, but why bother. Yea, i'm only 18, im sure you're all going to say that this is a mere blip in my life, which realistically speaking you'd all probably be right, but it doesnt mean that letting go doesnt hurt. This is the worst pain I could ever imagine. For 4 months now I've been soooo depressed beyond comprehension. Sorry if I'm a bore.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

And every cowboy sings a sad, sad song...

 

[Lonyo]

Originally posted by: dmcowen674

Originally posted by: slugg
We went out for almost 2 years. Before her, i THOUGHT i fell in love before... but this was totally different - it was an unbelieveable feeling (when all was good). I really, really loved her with all my heart and i still do. I'm trying not to but its not easy. It's been 4 months of BOTH of us trying to hold on to eachother, but its just simply not working. Now looking back, that was 4 months of complete suffering. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just let go? Why COULDN'T I let go?! There's a whole long story to go along with it, but why bother. Yea, i'm only 18, im sure you're all going to say that this is a mere blip in my life, which realistically speaking you'd all probably be right, but it doesnt mean that letting go doesnt hurt. This is the worst pain I could ever imagine. For 4 months now I've been soooo depressed beyond comprehension. Sorry if I'm a bore.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn

I'd like to put my thrown in Rose from Dr Who.

 

[j00fek]

www.hopeisemo.com

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: slugg
We went out for almost 2 years. Before her, i THOUGHT i fell in love before... but this was totally different - it was an unbelieveable feeling (when all was good). I really, really loved her with all my heart and i still do. I'm trying not to but its not easy. It's been 4 months of BOTH of us trying to hold on to eachother, but its just simply not working. Now looking back, that was 4 months of complete suffering. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just let go? Why COULDN'T I let go?! There's a whole long story to go along with it, but why bother. Yea, i'm only 18, im sure you're all going to say that this is a mere blip in my life, which realistically speaking you'd all probably be right, but it doesnt mean that letting go doesnt hurt. This is the worst pain I could ever imagine. For 4 months now I've been soooo depressed beyond comprehension. Sorry if I'm a bore.

Been there...done that and time heals all wounds. Just try to focus on other things in life you enjoy. Maybe start a new hobby or work on improving yourself through a fitness program or take a course at your local college that interests you. Do some "YOU" stuff.

 

[Doboji]

Originally posted by: slugg
We went out for almost 2 years. Before her, i THOUGHT i fell in love before... but this was totally different - it was an unbelieveable feeling (when all was good). I really, really loved her with all my heart and i still do. I'm trying not to but its not easy. It's been 4 months of BOTH of us trying to hold on to eachother, but its just simply not working. Now looking back, that was 4 months of complete suffering. How could I be so stupid? Why didn't I just let go? Why COULDN'T I let go?! There's a whole long story to go along with it, but why bother. Yea, i'm only 18, im sure you're all going to say that this is a mere blip in my life, which realistically speaking you'd all probably be right, but it doesnt mean that letting go doesnt hurt. This is the worst pain I could ever imagine. For 4 months now I've been soooo depressed beyond comprehension. Sorry if I'm a bore.

You just need a good rebound ****** ... call Sonz70... he'll fix ya up real quick

EDIT: Seriously though... this is short term pain... you must not dwell on it... get back out there, meet new people... move on. STAT

 

[lokiju]

My fiancee disagrees with my outlook on things like this but...

I am grateful for all of the hardest times of my life that I've been through now, they have been the biggest learning experiences in my life and are the ones that have made me into who I am today more than anything else.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is somewhat true IMO, but it's hard to see that way on it until you've fully healed from it all.

You'll be fine though, time heals all wounds.

 

[dullard]

Slugg life lesson #37: All relationships are exactly like you describe. Things feel totally different, things are unbelieveable, you really really are "in love" with all your heart. But then somewhere in the 1-2 year range those feelings change. No relationship can avoid this change. It is caused by your own body chemistry which is truely and measureably different during the first 1-2 years of a relationship. Then your body stops automatically producing those chemicals that make you feel good.

What do you do then? There are three courses of action.
[*](1) Go on pretending things are ok when really they aren't. Relationships can last days, weeks, months, or even decades like this. It seems like yours went a grand total of 4 months in this phase.
[*](2) Break up. The automatic "in love" chemicals are gone, so just find another person so you can have your body automatically produce those great feeling chemicals again.
[*](3) Choose to love the other person. Do the things that came natural during your first 1-2 years but that you stopped doing. Make him/her feel special every day. Realize that there are problems with all relationships, but that you choose to deal with the major problems and choose to ignore the minor ones. The automatic "in love" chemicals aren't automatic anymore, but you can choose to activate them for your partner. Hopefully, he/she will also choose to activate them for you by doing those same things in return.

I think most relationships choose option (1) then go to option (2). That is why so many couples don't get married or who get divorced shortly after marriage. Some couples are stuck in option (1) for life, getting married, just barely getting along, barely avoiding divorce, but not really being truely happy; they may eventually choose divorce much later in life. Only the rare couples choose option (3) and are truely loving each other for life.

Its your choice.

 

[archcommus]

Went through the same thing when I was 18, also after 2 1/2 years of a great relationship. And, like you, it was pretty bad for the last few months but all I could focus on at the time was how I could fix it, instead of just letting it go. When you have to try that hard to make it work, it's probably already over.

So, if you don't believe everyone when they say you'll move on soon enough, at least believe me, because 8 months ago I felt the same way, and after a LOT of time and a LOT of thinking and a LOT of changing I'm finally a better, happier person. You'll grow a lot now that you're still young and single, and if it ever happens again you'll be used to it and it probably won't hurt nearly as much.

Just hang in there and give it some time.

 

[Jeff7]

Originally posted by: Crazyfool
ahh, puppy love is the most painful. :brokenheart:

You will toughen up and get calloused eventually after enough bruises on your heart.

Take care. :beer:

P.S. Avoid music for a few weeks. You never realize how many flippin lovesongs there are until you have a broken heart.

I recommend They Might Be Giants. Yeah they have some songs along that genre, but a fair number are essentially about nothing. A most excellent nothing it is though.
Or Enya.

 

[archcommus]

Originally posted by: dullard
Slugg life lesson #37: All relationships are exactly like you describe. Things feel totally different, things are unbelieveable, you really really are "in love" with all your heart. But then somewhere in the 1-2 year range those feelings change. No relationship can avoid this change. It is caused by your own body chemistry which is truely and measureably different during the first 1-2 years of a relationship. Then your body stops automatically producing those chemicals that make you feel good.

What do you do then? There are three courses of action.
[*](1) Go on pretending things are ok when really they aren't. Relationships can last days, weeks, months, or even decades like this. It seems like yours went a grand total of 4 months in this phase.
[*](2) Break up. The automatic "in love" chemicals are gone, so just find another person so you can have your body automatically produce those great feeling chemicals again.
[*](3) Choose to love the other person. Do the things that came natural during your first 1-2 years but that you stopped doing. Make him/her feel special every day. Realize that there are problems with all relationships, but that you choose to deal with the major problems and choose to ignore the minor ones. The automatic "in love" chemicals aren't automatic anymore, but you can choose to activate them for your partner. Hopefully, he/she will also choose to activate them for you by doing those same things in return.

I think most relationships choose option (1) then go to option (2). That is why so many couples don't get married or who get divorced shortly after marriage. Some couples are stuck in option (1) for life, getting married, just barely getting along, barely avoiding divorce, but not really being truely happy; they may eventually choose divorce much later in life. Only the rare couples choose option (3) and are truely loving each other for life.

Its your choice.

Excellent advice. The first year is easy if you're both crazy about each other, after that you stop trying because you figure you're a done deal, a guaranteed thing, it can never mess up. Worst assumption in the world. When you get to that stage, you have to start trying, and if you can both put in the effort the relationship will last.

 

[jlbenedict]

You should probably just kill yourself now and get it over with..

Now on a serious note... you say you are 18.. so I'm quite sure with a 98% chance, that this "love" was probably just physical with alot of visual stimulation involved.

Finding that one that you are really "in love" with takes a long time, and most likely doesn't happen at a young age.

I know that if I was "in love" and lost that love.. it would hurt so deeply, posting about it on ATOT would be the last thing on my mind.