Originally posted by: dullard
Slugg life lesson #37: All relationships are exactly like you describe. Things feel totally different, things are unbelieveable, you really really are "in love" with all your heart. But then somewhere in the 1-2 year range those feelings change. No relationship can avoid this change. It is caused by your own body chemistry which is truely and measureably different during the first 1-2 years of a relationship. Then your body stops automatically producing those chemicals that make you feel good.
What do you do then? There are three courses of action.
[*](1) Go on pretending things are ok when really they aren't. Relationships can last days, weeks, months, or even decades like this. It seems like yours went a grand total of 4 months in this phase.
[*](2) Break up. The automatic "in love" chemicals are gone, so just find another person so you can have your body automatically produce those great feeling chemicals again.
[*](3) Choose to love the other person. Do the things that came natural during your first 1-2 years but that you stopped doing. Make him/her feel special every day. Realize that there are problems with all relationships, but that you choose to deal with the major problems and choose to ignore the minor ones. The automatic "in love" chemicals aren't automatic anymore, but you can choose to activate them for your partner. Hopefully, he/she will also choose to activate them for you by doing those same things in return.
I think most relationships choose option (1) then go to option (2). That is why so many couples don't get married or who get divorced shortly after marriage. Some couples are stuck in option (1) for life, getting married, just barely getting along, barely avoiding divorce, but not really being truely happy; they may eventually choose divorce much later in life. Only the rare couples choose option (3) and are truely loving each other for life.
Its your choice.
