Law Question

[laxplayer39]

To anybody who knows the law I have a problem. I had a problem with an RA. She was being very rude to me when I was hanging out with my friends. She said "get out you cant be here" when we werent doing anything wrong and in fact I have people that will agree. So I made a few jokes and everyone started laughing (im like jeez shes on a powertrip, stuff like that).

now she went and filed a report with the UP (university police) and they banned me from her building stating that i sexully harrassed her!! now ive taken classes, and had training and i did NOT harrass her but since she works for the school they AUTOMATTICALLY took her side and never gave me a formal hearing. so now they sent a letter to my parents (isnt that also a breach of the law because isnt there laws saying that this is private b/w the student and school. i dont care that my parents know but i remember that there was a lawsuit a while back when some school sent a kids grades home to his parents and they said that since the child was over 18 they werent legally allowed to)

now before even hearing my side they made all these accusations. they being the office of residential life. im in cali and my school is in NY. their whole system seems flawed. instead of the us civil law which is 'innocent until proven guilty' it is 'guilty until proven innocent'. this is rediculous and i wonder should i hire a lawyer or what. i want to fight not only the charges but also i want to fight the system and the way they are handling this.

thanks

 

[CanOWorms]

she said you couldn't be there or the entire group?

 

[laxplayer39]

just me...

and that was teh start of it and she continually kept giving me a hard time every time i wanted to visit my friends. i didnt live in her building.

 

[Shooters]

Maybe you had done something in the past that pissed her off. When you and your friends get together and hang out are you guys noisy or anything like that? I find it a little hard to believe that she would be rude to you and tell you to leave for no apparent reason. When I lived in the dorms, all of the RA's were pretty cool and didn't really give us sh!t about anything unless we were being a nuissance and bothering the other residents. After all, RA's are college students too. I'm not taking her side, just trying to get the whole story.

Also, what exactly did you say when you made the jokes? It probably would have been wiser to ask her in a civilized manner why she was asking you to leave instead of making fun of her.

 

[Description]

So I made a few jokes

What did you say?

 

[laxplayer39]

i said this stuff sorta to be an a$$hole and mostly because she was being very obnoxious and had a powertrip. she is def one of those biz natches dude...
tell me is this is sexu al hara ssing...
'can i get your number?' with a big grin on my face
'can we go out on a date'?
she never said stop sayin this stuff and when she did i stopped but then she stil lwent to the cops ... they talked to me too and i didnt even talk to her after that so why are they trying to say i sex ually harassed her???

the system is flawed because it places mroe power to the faculty and staff and doesnt give the stduent a fair shake...

 

[Shooters]

Originally posted by: laxplayer39
'can i get your number?' with a big grin on my face
'can we go out on a date'?

In this day and age, that could qualify as sexual harassment.

 

[Description]

'can i get your number?'

Inappropriate.

'can we go out on a date'?

Inappropriate.
Most people wouldn't care, but you were being asses to each other and she had the right to do that.

If they aren't pressing criminal charges, just let it go.

 

[Description]

i want to fight not only the charges but also i want to fight the system and the way they are handling this.

You wouldn't have said those things if she were a police officer, would you?

You were wrong, and screwed yourself this time.

 

[gsaldivar]

Sexual harassment is a very serious accusation that should not be taken lightly - by you, OR your school. In some instances, the accusation of sexual harrasment has cost people their jobs, reputation, and livelihood. You are fortunate that circumstances weren't such that you suffered this type of loss. Next time, you might not be so lucky!

I would suggest defending yourself against this type of accusation in the strongest possible manner. Failure to do so, could prove to be a serious mistake, if in the future, your campus police record is used against you.

Consider writing a sincere and honest letter to the Director of Campus Housing requesting a full accounting of the event, and an apology from the RA. If you don't receive a favorable response, follow up with a letter directly to the President of the University.

The RA should be made aware that, regardless of personal differences, a false accusation of sexual harassment is a crime that carries criminal penalties. Unless she has witnesses and/or evidence of her accusation, you should seek no less than an immediate formal apology and removal of all record of the incident from your permanent student record.

Keep us posted. Good luck!

:beer:

[I am not a lawyer.]

 

[gsaldivar]

Hmmm. you didn't mention ANYTHING about the "can i get your number?/can we go out on a date" thing in your OP..... I just read your followups after posting the last message.

That was NOT very smart, but I would still follow up with the letters if there is any chance of getting your record cleared.

Be prepared to chalk this up this as a lesson learned the hard way.

Good luck!

 

[nageov3t]

Originally posted by: Shooters

Originally posted by: laxplayer39
'can i get your number?' with a big grin on my face
'can we go out on a date'?

In this day and age, that could qualify as sexual harassment.

I agree.

I'd definitely consider it to be sexual harrassment if some aszhole or b!tch said that to me.

 

[laxplayer39]

dude are you guys serious?

if we hadnt known each other and i said that , that in NO WAY is sexual harassment... your right it IS a serious offense and if she is serious about this then i will hire a lawyer ... should i file charges agaisnt her for falsely accusing me?

you guys honestly believe that i will be convicted of sexual harassment? now if she lies and says i said worse stuff then maybe but i know what i said and in no way was it sexual harassment...

and even mroe so i dont even like the way my school is handling this...they are taking her side because she is a student staff member...they think b/c im just a student that im AUTOMATICALLY GUILTY!!! that is ridiculous!!

cmon...that has to be agaisnt the law in some way

 

[Description]

that in NO WAY is sexual harassment

It is.

you guys honestly believe that i will be convicted of sexual harassment?

You never said anything about criminal charges. Are they threatening this?

hey are taking her side because she is a student staff member...they think b/c im just a student that im AUTOMATICALLY GUILTY!!!

You are, but I suppose it's the principle, eh? Talk to them about it.

cmon...that has to be agaisnt the law in some way

It isn't.

 

[Description]

It seems that you're struggling to prove your innocence when you are, in fact, guilty. Your mouth wrote a check that your ass couldn't cash. If it's just one building, forget about it and get on with your life.

 

[gsaldivar]

b/c im just a student that im AUTOMATICALLY GUILTY!!! that is ridiculous!! ... cmon...that has to be agaisnt the law in some way

Dude...

Is she pressing charges? Hire a lawyer immediately.

IF NOT - seek an apology (optional), clear your record (optional), and MOVE ON.

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: loki8481

Originally posted by: Shooters

Originally posted by: laxplayer39
'can i get your number?' with a big grin on my face
'can we go out on a date'?

In this day and age, that could qualify as sexual harassment.

I agree.

I'd definitely consider it to be sexual harrassment if some aszhole or b!tch said that to me.

Indeed, I would as well; if I were confronting this situation I probably would've just called the PD. I am also surprised that they didn't at least schedule a meeting between you and an RD to discuss it.

That being said, there are a few important details missing from this account - first, where were you hanging out? What time was it? Was there a quiet policy in effect at the time that this happened?

As for the jokes - what jokes did you make? Did you make any others besides the two that you mentioned?

 

[digitalsm]

Originally posted by: laxplayer39
dude are you guys serious?

if we hadnt known each other and i said that , that in NO WAY is sexual harassment... your right it IS a serious offense and if she is serious about this then i will hire a lawyer ... should i file charges agaisnt her for falsely accusing me?

you guys honestly believe that i will be convicted of sexual harassment? now if she lies and says i said worse stuff then maybe but i know what i said and in no way was it sexual harassment...

and even mroe so i dont even like the way my school is handling this...they are taking her side because she is a student staff member...they think b/c im just a student that im AUTOMATICALLY GUILTY!!! that is ridiculous!!

cmon...that has to be agaisnt the law in some way

In the way you did it, yes it is.

 

[Orsorum]

Bump for the details.

 

[Gurck]

Originally posted by: Shooters

Originally posted by: laxplayer39
'can i get your number?' with a big grin on my face
'can we go out on a date'?

In this day and age, that could qualify as sexual harassment.

Unfortunate but true. Generally two types of people that are RAs, those who really need the free room and/or other benefits, and those cop types who lust for power and control over others. Those can be a real nightmare in dorms and other walks of life I had an RA like that my third semester, ended up putting a full garbage can (overturned) on his car's roof :evil:

 

[woowoo]

She wants you......

 

[Orsorum]

Originally posted by: Gurck

Originally posted by: Shooters

Originally posted by: laxplayer39
'can i get your number?' with a big grin on my face
'can we go out on a date'?

In this day and age, that could qualify as sexual harassment.

Unfortunate but true. Generally two types of people that are RAs, those who really need the free room and/or other benefits, and those cop types who lust for power and control over others. Those can be a real nightmare in dorms and other walks of life I had an RA like that my third semester, ended up putting a full garbage can (overturned) on his car's roof :evil:

Actually, there're three types - the two that you mentioned, and the third like me who genuinely enjoys his job and the interaction with people but hates confronting idiots that refuse to abide by their lease.

 

[Fingolfin269]

Have any of you guys ever been to a bar and asked a girl for a number or a date? How is this any different?

Defend yourself man. If that is sexual harassment then this country's court system freaking sucks. And so do any of the pansies who would support such a claim.

 

[mugs]

Haha... "i want to fight not only the charges but also i want to fight the system and the way they are handling this." Quit being so melodramatic and grow up.

"b/c im just a student that im AUTOMATICALLY GUILTY!!! that is ridiculous!! ... cmon...that has to be agaisnt the law in some way"

You ARE guilty.

Do you go to a public or private college?

 

[DrPizza]

Originally posted by: Shooters

Originally posted by: laxplayer39
'can i get your number?' with a big grin on my face
'can we go out on a date'?

In this day and age, that could qualify as sexual harassment.

It would depend on the situation. If he was in a bar asking that to a girl, then, no, it wouldn't be sexual harassment. But, in the situation he described, I think it could very easily be construed as sexual harassment.

Regardless, I'd be surprised to find any discipline code at any school to not have an appeals process. In fact, if they don't have some sort of due process, they're probably violating your civil rights. You didn't mention which school you go to. I went to the websites of 3 schools I'm familiar with - all 3 have their sexual harassment policy online. SOooooo, which school do you go to??