i've known the girl for 1 1/2 years now...took her to a from school, had classes all day with..and worked with her....basically spent anywhere from 9-18 hours a day together...for a 1 1/2yr @_@
edit: also, i know a fair amount of her bad points. i know i made it seem like she was only good, but isee some negative points in her as well. but i agree, i would find out more if we pursued something, might be worth it though if it were to work out
no point in telling her right now...she is all caught up in this other dood...though i just dont ever see them working things out...time will tell
mi xiao
Senior member
- Jun 18, 2005
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1. why were you with your gf so long if you truly have nothing in common, are a poor match (people can't/won't change for others), do nothing, don't like her family, see no future with her?
2. break up with her. you clearly don't want to be with her anymore.
3. spend time alone. lots of time - single. you are going to college. you will meet lots of girls.
4. see if there is still something there between you and your best friend. she is still dating someone....do you really expect her to drop all after you are single? she did move away with her current.
5. hope neither of the girls are reading this thread.
p.s. i think a lot of guys like the guys with boobs type girl. not many guys honestly like "high maintenance" girls. unless i am wrong? enlighten me boys.
2. break up with her. you clearly don't want to be with her anymore.
3. spend time alone. lots of time - single. you are going to college. you will meet lots of girls.
4. see if there is still something there between you and your best friend. she is still dating someone....do you really expect her to drop all after you are single? she did move away with her current.
5. hope neither of the girls are reading this thread.
p.s. i think a lot of guys like the guys with boobs type girl. not many guys honestly like "high maintenance" girls. unless i am wrong? enlighten me boys.
Allow me to give you some advice here, I read your thread thoroughly and here's what I think.
1) You're ALL very young. Thats not to say thats a bad thing or that you're not capable of being in love, I was in love when I was 19. However at 19 you have not yet grown into the full person you are going to be... your interests and their interests are going to change dramatically... more than you can imagine. I'm amazed at how now alot of the things I cared about when I was 19 I don't care about at ALL now. What this means is that your analysis of common interests in the GF and your best-friend is kinda irrelevant in the long term. You may find 5 years from now that the situation is completely reversed....
HOWEVER
2) the fact that you are even asking this question is proof of dissatisfaction with your current relationship. The key thing to remember here is that the PURPOSE of dating is to find out WHAT you are looking for, you have clearly expressed that your current GF is NOT what you're looking for, and that your best friend girl MIGHT be. Chances are your best-friend girl is NOT what you're looking for, and the carnage of breaking up TWO relationships would be prohibitive of you and her forming a strong working relationship.
3) It's very possible that she's not interested in you, especially because she's already involved with someone, and has that huge guilt stumbling block standing in the way of her having feelings for you. It's also likely that you're not as interested in her as you think... it's simply the contrast between her and your GF, and once the GF is gone, so is the contrast.
Thus my suggestion....
Break up with your current girlfriend... explain to her why.... it's not a mean thing to explain. And date other people... if you ever find yourself in the position to actually date your bestfriend-girl.... then go for it. BUT do NOT attempt it now.
Good Luck,
-Max
1) You're ALL very young. Thats not to say thats a bad thing or that you're not capable of being in love, I was in love when I was 19. However at 19 you have not yet grown into the full person you are going to be... your interests and their interests are going to change dramatically... more than you can imagine. I'm amazed at how now alot of the things I cared about when I was 19 I don't care about at ALL now. What this means is that your analysis of common interests in the GF and your best-friend is kinda irrelevant in the long term. You may find 5 years from now that the situation is completely reversed....
HOWEVER
2) the fact that you are even asking this question is proof of dissatisfaction with your current relationship. The key thing to remember here is that the PURPOSE of dating is to find out WHAT you are looking for, you have clearly expressed that your current GF is NOT what you're looking for, and that your best friend girl MIGHT be. Chances are your best-friend girl is NOT what you're looking for, and the carnage of breaking up TWO relationships would be prohibitive of you and her forming a strong working relationship.
3) It's very possible that she's not interested in you, especially because she's already involved with someone, and has that huge guilt stumbling block standing in the way of her having feelings for you. It's also likely that you're not as interested in her as you think... it's simply the contrast between her and your GF, and once the GF is gone, so is the contrast.
Thus my suggestion....
Break up with your current girlfriend... explain to her why.... it's not a mean thing to explain. And date other people... if you ever find yourself in the position to actually date your bestfriend-girl.... then go for it. BUT do NOT attempt it now.
Good Luck,
-Max
your icon just changed in like a 2 minute timespan, and it confused the hell out of me.
in response to above, if she's caught up with someone else, what's your dilemma right now? get on with your life, don't come off as being desperate or needy. no matter how incredible she is, if it's not going to work out, no matter how hard you press the issue it's destined for failure. this other girl and your girlfriend are completely separate issues. you shouldn't make one based on the other. If you leave your girlfriend, then do it because you don't see yourself being truly happy with her. Don't do it because you want to have an opportunity with this other girl. If you do, you're just asking to be hurt, because she might not respond to you the way you're expecting/want her to. And even if you think she likes you, the intensity of that feeling could be totally different than you think.
Key point: you're going to college. People change a ridiculous amount during those 4 years. You and your girlfriend could be planning your wedding, and then a semester in become bitter enemies. Don't look for true love when your personality hasn't been defined yet, and you're in no way stable. On the reverse side, if you're just looking for companionship and a good time, then you know the decision to make.
1. uhhh...i care a lot about her
2. :/
3. bros pwn
4. i dont expect her to, but if it happens
5. my g/f gets on the internet only to talk to me, lol...the other girl doesnt post on this kind of forum and is out of a computer for a week (i picked the perfect time, lol)
Both are kind of high maintenance in their own ways...all girls are, lol...i like those type better bcuz they understand me better...girly girls just cant seem to grasp the way i think and dont find similar things funny...they also tend to be more scarcastic...i like scarcasim
Depends... different strokes for different folks... oddly enough I know of guys who like to get bossed around, and have a woman to constantly try to appease. Ask Pepsei I suspect he falls into this category. I certainly don't... but others do.
-Max
I didn't read the responses.
Saying that....where is the "follow your heart" option? This is not a business deal. These are your feelings and only you know where your heart wants to lead you.
Now. Saying THAT.......you still have to put some thought into it because following your heart blindly can really cause pain. Finding that balance between head and heart is the single most difficult thing to try to learn when it comes to relationships and love. I dare say it can never be mastered.
Saying that....where is the "follow your heart" option? This is not a business deal. These are your feelings and only you know where your heart wants to lead you.
Now. Saying THAT.......you still have to put some thought into it because following your heart blindly can really cause pain. Finding that balance between head and heart is the single most difficult thing to try to learn when it comes to relationships and love. I dare say it can never be mastered.
mi xiao
Senior member
- Jun 18, 2005
- 366
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- 0
1. you can still care about someone without dating with them. eg. i care about my closest friends, but i'm not going to start dating them.
2. you are doubting your relationship, which in my experience means it will soon be over.
4. grass is alway greener...
well, you just said it there: you want a boy with boobs type girl. you want someone who understands you...can't think of anything more important in a relationship.
2. you are doubting your relationship, which in my experience means it will soon be over.
4. grass is alway greener...
well, you just said it there: you want a boy with boobs type girl. you want someone who understands you...can't think of anything more important in a relationship.
word....i agree with you and doboji...prolly best to cut it off w/ the g/f and just find myself for the next couple of years. if the best friend ever turns into more...then it does...hrmmmm ...
where are all the hawt girls who game? Did they all move away from michigan?
Anyways, Methinks that you don't know what you want, but it isn't what you have right now. Break up with your GF, and stay single for a bit...
Anyways, Methinks that you don't know what you want, but it isn't what you have right now. Break up with your GF, and stay single for a bit...
Originally posted by: L3p3rM355i4h
where are all the hawt girls who game? Did they all move away from michigan?
Anyways, Methinks that you don't know what you want, but it isn't what you have right now. Break up with your GF, and stay single for a bit...
i suppose i'm leaning in that direction...i've talked to some older people about this and they all seem to think the same as doboji about ppl chaning a TON during college...
cliffs?
where's the choice for : keep sex0ring the gf now until you either hookup with your best friend, or another girl comes along
where's the choice for : keep sex0ring the gf now until you either hookup with your best friend, or another girl comes along
Any relationship you have now probably won't survive your college years. Also, being best friends, seeming so similar, and having so much in common does not necessarily make a good girlfriend. I know this from experience with a few girls that were like that. Once we got the fscking out of the way, it was much more preferable to go back to being just good friends. Sometimes life is about contrasts rather than similarities, but I guess that might depend upon the individual.
Originally posted by: mi xiao
by that i think he means "you will have TEH sex with lots of girls"
...use a condom.
>.> work calls....be back later ppls...
QFT, being with someone who's an exact copy of you will get boring REALLY fast, it's the differences that make things interesting, I mean some common ground like is needed, but if they're just about the same as you in every way... yeah you'll get bored.
--Mark
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