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Lady problems... YAGT

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if she lives 3k miles away, dont you think its a little too late? also, if you are even thinking about this you have mentally "cheated" on your current relationship and it would be best to break that off since in your mind you havent been faithful. in the long run you will appreciate that.
 
1) no offense, but you really need to add cliff notes to the bottom of that thread,.

2) Better the devil you know/A bird in the hand.. and all that.

3) Chances are that if you leave the g/f to go with the friend, you will find stuff about her that you cannot stand, thereby ruining your friendship and losing your g/f. You cannot be sure that this friend will be the same as a lover as she is as a friend.

🙂
 
Originally posted by: Bigsm00th
if she lives 3k miles away, dont you think its a little too late? also, if you are even thinking about this you have mentally "cheated" on your current relationship and it would be best to break that off since in your mind you havent been faithful. in the long run you will appreciate that.
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she only lives 3k mi alway bcuz she moved away w/ boyfriend...if things were to go bad, she would be moving back to live w/ family...so..not all hope is lost, lol. So far it has not effected out relationship at all...we still talk often, just dont get to hang out 🙁

i agree with you on the mental part, but it is just so damn hard for me to break it off (tried in the past) bcuz she gets so upset and i hate hurting people's feelings...damn my emotions to hell 🙁

 
well, my advice is to be careful. just because she makes a good best friend, doesn't mean she will make a good girlfriend. also remember, you have to realize the possibility that should things not work out, you could lose her as a friend.

that said, it sounds like you aren't the happiest guy with your current gf to begin with, and this is another reason to break up with her. BUT DO NOT MAKE IT THE PRIMARY REASON - you're only setting yourself up for defeat. try and get the "best friend" completely out of your mind when considering whether or not to break up with your gf. what you should be thinking is "am i happy with my girlfriend, or do i want to look for someone else who will make me happier?"
 
Originally posted by: KarenMarie
1) no offense, but you really need to add cliff notes to the bottom of that thread,.

2) Better the devil you know/A bird in the hand.. and all that.

3) Chances are that if you leave the g/f to go with the friend, you will find stuff about her that you cannot stand, thereby ruining your friendship and losing your g/f. You cannot be sure that this friend will be the same as a lover as she is as a friend.

🙂
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1) ill work on that, lol...
2) O_O?
3) agreed to a certain extent. There are already things i cant stand about current g/f...so..i guess the loss wouldnt be that bad. though i cannot be sure the friend would be same as my lover...bcuz i am so 'involved' in her life...i know how she acts w/ current lover...and the things i dont like are bareable. ruining our friendship would kill me, which is why i have made no actions. maybe wait for her to make a move, if ever?

 
trust me you don't wanna date your best friend. relationships are best, IMHO, when both people have different things to offer. when your both the same you'll get bored relatively quickly.
 
Originally posted by: wfbberzerker
well, my advice is to be careful. just because she makes a good best friend, doesn't mean she will make a good girlfriend. also remember, you have to realize the possibility that should things not work out, you could lose her as a friend.

that said, it sounds like you aren't the happiest guy with your current gf to begin with, and this is another reason to break up with her. BUT DO NOT MAKE IT THE PRIMARY REASON - you're only setting yourself up for defeat. try and get the "best friend" completely out of your mind when considering whether or not to break up with your gf. what you should be thinking is "am i happy with my girlfriend, or do i want to look for someone else who will make me happier?"
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very good advice, thanks 🙂 i could see how leaving the current g/f for the best friend and then not getting the best friend would suck...
 
Originally posted by: neutralizer
Wait it out. When she does break up, I guess you could go after her. *shrug*
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would be nice...

sudheer anne: why not date the best friend? though we are very similar...we arent the same...we do have different things to offer...just not as many as it could be with the current g/f...i see your view though
 
off to bed...gotta be @ work early 🙁 thanks for the replies...will read the rest in the morning 🙂

also, possible good subject to discuss with the parrents? >.>
 
Originally posted by: Journer
Originally posted by: wfbberzerker
well, my advice is to be careful. just because she makes a good best friend, doesn't mean she will make a good girlfriend. also remember, you have to realize the possibility that should things not work out, you could lose her as a friend.

that said, it sounds like you aren't the happiest guy with your current gf to begin with, and this is another reason to break up with her. BUT DO NOT MAKE IT THE PRIMARY REASON - you're only setting yourself up for defeat. try and get the "best friend" completely out of your mind when considering whether or not to break up with your gf. what you should be thinking is "am i happy with my girlfriend, or do i want to look for someone else who will make me happier?"
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very good advice, thanks 🙂 i could see how leaving the current g/f for the best friend and then not getting the best friend would suck...
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not to mention possibly then losing the best friend AS a friend.
 
Treat it as two separate issues. If you feel like your current relationship isn't a "keeper", you need to break it off as gently as possible. Then see what happens, but don't break the best friend and her bf up - just continue doing what you do with her and see what happens.

(can't believe I just posted in a YAGT but driving toward 1K like a demon)
 
if you are dating for 3.5 years and she isn't your best friend then that says something. maybe it's just the way you wrote about your old girlfriend but i think you want out. that plus you are still way to young to be worrying about this stuff means RUNNN!

(can't believe i answered this seriously either but closing in on big #300)
 
3.5 years is a considerable amount of time to let it go to waste. Work harder with your current gf and try to stay with her. Desite all your differences, if you have managed to be together for 3.5 years, that says something.
 
er, a) everything wil end within the 4 years of college anyway
b) cliffs
c) might as well stay in touch with friend for after college
d) date other girls while in college
 
bwahahaha! you do not know the first thing about relationships. wait till you go to different colleges and cheat on eachother. then try to forgive her. i'd say stick it out with the current gf though. sounds like you like her alot and you are downplaying how much you do have in common. say friends with the second girl though, in case benefits become available
 
i fear for their relationship.
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er, if you do, then stay out of their relationship

she's the one that moved 3k miles away with her boyfriend. which is obvious that her relationship with him is more important than her relationship with you.

A lot of times, girls would complain to others about their boyfriend and then at the end of the day go back to them. common practice. This works because they get to vent to other people so that when they're at home they don't have to vent and just have sex.

As for you, maybe you should break up with your gf since you don't like to hurt anyone.
 
Originally posted by: Pepsei
i fear for their relationship.
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er, if you do, then stay out of their relationship

she's the one that moved 3k miles away with her boyfriend. which is obvious that her relationship with him is more important than her relationship with you.

A lot of times, girls would complain to others about their boyfriend and then at the end of the day go back to them. common practice. This works because they get to vent to other people so that when they're at home they don't have to vent and just have sex.

As for you, maybe you should break up with your gf since you don't like to hurt anyone.
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i feel so...used... 😱

 
let me guess, you're both 16?


EDIT: when you're not in a relationship with someone, you see only their good points. if you actually do pursue that other girl, it might turn out that you and her are completely incompatible and you might have given up a good thing to discover it. stay with your gf, get to know the other girl better (a few months doesn't cut it, and 3k miles is impossible to work out), and then make a decision.
 
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