Keeping up with the Joneses

[maddogchen]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
The thing is, it's not like she's ASKING for these things.

She just MENTIONS things.

I make 60K. She mentions people who make 70K. She doesn't say, "I wish you made 70K." She just mentions people who do, in the context of conversation.

I have a studio condo. She mentions people who just bought a 3-bedroom house.

And so on.

Maybe it's my own brain making these connections because I know how women think...

She IS very material and status-centered... you can just hear it in the way she talks, generally. She believes happiness comes from big houses and big salaries.

Run for the Hills!!!! RUN!

 

[Turin39789]

Originally posted by: redly1

Originally posted by: Turin39789
The trick is to just keep buying cheap old vehicles from the 70's

70's vehicles are neither cheap or cheap to drive anymore

You're buying the wrong ones.

My 70's VW was $2500 in fairly good condition, My 75 Honda CB550 was $500.

 

[PepePeru]

the trick is to turn on, tune in, drop out.

 

[waggy]

keeping up with anyone is stupid.

I have watched my sister blow through enough money they could be retiring at 40 or 50. instead they continue to buy new houses, TV's, new cars (new car every year) go on 3-5 vacations a year etc.

they have $20k worth of CC debt etc. its fucking insane.

 

[RagingBITCH]

Dump her. I've told myself I'll never marry someone who values material goods like that.

 

[Joemonkey]

Originally posted by: Fenixgoon

Originally posted by: Joemonkey
we bought our house on a 100% loan and are having no issues... why again is this retarded? also our wedding cost maybe $200...

because you pay interest out the a$$?

even if our rate is 5% and I overpay almost $100 a month?

btw, our house was $70k, ~2500 sq feet, 3 floors

 

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
The thing is, it's not like she's ASKING for these things.

She just MENTIONS things.

I make 60K. She mentions people who make 70K. She doesn't say, "I wish you made 70K." She just mentions people who do, in the context of conversation.

I have a studio condo. She mentions people who just bought a 3-bedroom house.

And so on.

Maybe it's my own brain making these connections because I know how women think...

She IS very material and status-centered... you can just hear it in the way she talks, generally. She believes happiness comes from big houses and big salaries.

Are you the guy that said you wouldn't date anything less than a "10"?

 

[IceBergSLiM]

say "thats awesome honey I can't wait till you start pulling in 6 figures...its gonna be great! "

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim
say "thats awesome honey I can't wait till you start pulling in 6 figures...its gonna be great! "

Considering she's in medical school that statement wouldn't actually be sarcastic... =)

 

[Ares2600]

I find myself getting pulled into the same thing. I bought my house for some of those reasons. Had the BMW and all that crap. Home theater, etc. I still feel it sometimes.. I think it's natural, but it will seriously kill you. Some of the worst moods I've ever been in have been because I've felt like I'm behind where I 'think' I should be. The one piece of advice I've tried to follow that I've been given numerous times is that no matter HOW big you get there's always ALOT of people bigger. It's a kick in the nuts to admit and understand, but that's why it's a wise person who can actually understand and take it to heart. I still haven't, but I'm trying.

Dumped the cars and stuff.... all my time, (expendable) money and energy goes into a late 80's race car.. literally he ugliest porsche ever made by unanimous decision. I love it and so few people want it that it will always be my own somewhat unique thing. If you notice the only rich/high status people anyone actually LIKES are the ones that are rich/high status DESPITE their attitude that doesn't really value it. That's who i want to be.

 

[iroast]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
The thing is, it's not like she's ASKING for these things.

She just MENTIONS things.

I make 60K. She mentions people who make 70K. She doesn't say, "I wish you made 70K." She just mentions people who do, in the context of conversation.

I have a studio condo. She mentions people who just bought a 3-bedroom house.

And so on.

Maybe it's my own brain making these connections because I know how women think...

She IS very material and status-centered... you can just hear it in the way she talks, generally. She believes happiness comes from big houses and big salaries.

Have a frank talk with her.

 

[ravana]

You have a mature option:

Originally posted by: iroast

Have a frank talk with her.

or the easy option:

Originally posted by: maddogchen
Run for the Hills!!!! RUN!

Just so you know, option 2 is fun

Best of luck dude, stay happy :thumbsup:

 

[Phokus]

Alphathree, you gotta teach your girl that she'll NEVER be happy if she keeps comparing her material wealth with others. I'm happiest when i go out with my GF to visit new places, walk around nature, etc.

 

[foghorn67]

Originally posted by: iroast
Have a frank talk with her.

Can we trust frank?

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33
There seem to be two routes. One is to grow an e-penis so big that you always win the comparisons. The other is to say you don't care. Both routes seem tiresome.

There's a third option: actually not caring. Much less tiring.

ZV

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: Phokus
Alphathree, you gotta teach your girl that she'll NEVER be happy if she keeps comparing her material wealth with others. I'm happiest when i go out with my GF to visit new places, walk around nature, etc.

So I have tried to get this through her skull, but it just doesn't "click" with her.

I've actually said to her, "At what POINT in your life will you be happy? Tell me when. When you graduate? When you start making more than $100K? When you buy your first house? When you have your first kid?"

She couldn't answer the question, yet she is also relatively unhappy right now.

 

[Savij]

1. She won't learn for a looooong time.
2. Is she asian?

 

[UNCjigga]

Minimum amount of $ to spend on an Indian wedding: $75,000 (but $100,000+ is the new "benchmark")
Minimum car any Indian should be driving after college: BMW 3-series
Minimum $ for Indian couple to spend on a house: $250,000 in South/SE/MW; $500,000 in NE; $1,000,000 in California

I gave up a long time ago.

 

[imported_Baloo]

You left out a third choice. Dump the girlfriend and find another that does not care about such things.

 

[zerocool84]

You are too young to have a girlfriend anyways................/thread

 

[TheSlamma]

Originally posted by: michaels
Only tools fall into this

QFT

 

[Alphathree33]

Originally posted by: Savij
1. She won't learn for a looooong time.
2. Is she asian?

2 - yes

 

[Savij]

Originally posted by: Alphathree33

Originally posted by: Savij
1. She won't learn for a looooong time.
2. Is she asian?

2 - yes

Then she's never going to change. It's only going to get worse later because her mother/sister/aunts/friends/grocer will feel justified in bringing up the same things.

 

[Descartes]

You know, commenting on the extravagance of someone else's possessions doesn't nececessarily imply envy. I happily applaud the successes of my family and friends, and there's not the slightest hint of jealousy, envy or desire to equal them.

Other than that, I agree with you. People that try to constantly keep up with others are running a fool's errand.

 

[Harabec]

I'm happy with what I have and I'm happy with life - whatever it may have in store for me tomorrow. I do not "need" anything but fresh air to satisfy me.
I realized I do not need to give a damn about what other people have that I also "need" (according to friends, heh).

Don't live other people's expectations!