I am a Chinese, and live in the States. read this post and don't know what to say. I travel extensively to Mexico. My stuff got stolen on the recent trip, and no one response to my help, either turn their head away, walk away or pretend not understand my Spanish. But still I love to travel there.
I tried to convince my friends, family, coworker that Mexico has its beauty, not only the drug war, killing, corruption, pocket picking, food poison. But I am not that successful. People have that feeling toward Mexico and feel the people live there are miserable.
I met an anthropologist who travel aboard frequently. She said she is an observer. Since my conversation with her, my ultimate goal as a traveler is to be an observer.
I travel extensively in the States and Mexico, particularly I like the landscape and Native American culture, but ironically I rarely travel in China. I read book the other day from library, I was fascinated by these places in China, which I heard but never visit. If what you experience in China make you uncomfortable, maybe that destination doesn't match your preference. I've been to NYC 6 or 7 times, and only my 3rd trip (and beyond) allow me to appreciate the heartbeat of the city, and falling love with it.
I always appreciates OP's opinion because that's your true feeling. I met about 8-10 folks on the road who said they have been to China. It seems like they might hold something back and only tell me their good experience and try to be polite.
Some behavior of Chinese resident/traveler is noticeable, such as spitting, speaking loud, and cut the line... some has been improved over the time, some remain intact. in the place I stayed, when you walk out of building, you hold the door for people walk behind, who will say Thank you. In NYC, I hold the door, people simply pass through. Should I say Newyorker is rude -- No, I can't reach that conclusion. It's just the way it is. I will not hold the door in NYC, but in other place I will. You just have to adapt to the degree which make yourself comfortable.
The anthropologist show me a quarter coin, and asked what I see? I said I saw "George Washington's head and In god we trust". She said, No, that's not what she saw. She saw an eagle with outstretched wings. She taught me a simple principle that there are two perspective view out of a single coin, and how can you judge a much more complicated society and culture from a single point of view?
Be an observer wherever you be, and try to see thing from another perspective.