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Just got my 2014 "goals" at work

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vshah said:
just curious, what are your day to day responsibilities?
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I manage an investment platform, which boils down to specific requests for new mutual fund and unregistered fund products and all the related contracts and operational details. I also have a completely seperate product ("Specific Product B") that I manage because it was built with no group to support it, and it eventually found it's way to my desk.
 
CPA said:
Oh, come on not all of us do that. We all have to design our own goals. They need to be specific, measurable goals. And we don't want more than 3-5. I always tell my group to include one or two that are "no brainers", meaning that if you do what you're supposed to do then you meet the goal. I don't want every goal to stress out the staff "oh crap, if I don't make this goal, I don't get a raise or my bonus". But, at the same time, you need a couple that they will actually get outside their comfort zone to fully accomplish.
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Yeah, this is not common at all in my industry. I have many friends that have moved on to other groups and they tell me how different it is. Giving clear, measurable goals is the best way to motivate employees, and any good manager wants that.
 
wow, a good number of those are useless, I'll snag one:

Effectively manage relationships for [Specific Product C] poviders
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How is that even measurable? Man I'd tell who ever handed this to me to redo it to be something that's not useless. And if that means deleting 85% of them, then so be it.
 
Train said:
wow, a good number of those are useless, I'll snag one:

How is that even measurable? Man I'd tell who ever handed this to me to redo it to be something that's not useless. And if that means deleting 85% of them, then so be it.
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I used to get these twice a year at my old job. The bosses know they are useless but the boss' bosses want them to do it. Its the corporate micro managing idiocy. "If we have it in writing, it will make everything better!" Umm...but it doesn't say anything? "Even better! I don't have to pretend like I can read!!"

Its the corporate circle jerk. I bet if I were to ask for a set of "goals" all I would get back would be a napkin with "don't burn the place down" wrote on it.
 
CPA said:
Oh, come on not all of us do that. We all have to design our own goals. They need to be specific, measurable goals. And we don't want more than 3-5. I always tell my group to include one or two that are "no brainers", meaning that if you do what you're supposed to do then you meet the goal. I don't want every goal to stress out the staff "oh crap, if I don't make this goal, I don't get a raise or my bonus". But, at the same time, you need a couple that they will actually get outside their comfort zone to fully accomplish.
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I was being facetious. Probably only 80% are the way I described.
 
twinrider1 said:
lol, just flashed on a disturbing image. And now I'm wondering if ballsacks are unique like cow noses. Will ballsacks become an accepted identifier some day.

cattle_noseprint.jpg
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It's part of the new 3-part authentication system. First a fingerprint scan, then a retina scan, then you tea-bag a sensor.
 
Why do you find this surprising or confusing? It's done that way almost everywhere in almost every industry and job category. The higher-ups can't define specific goals because then they can be held accountable for misses in their underlings. By keeping it nebulous they protect themselves and they make it harder for underlings to sue if some people get promoted while other people don't. If you make it all black and white and person A outperforms person B based on nicely defined specific job requirements then the company gets sued for promoting person B or firing person A. Doing it this way allows management to define "manage", "support" and "transition" in any way they please on a case by case basis.
 
In the system I was designing when I quit, HR made VPs enter unit goals and Directors enter departmental goals. Those would trickle down to their reports and you'd have to put in goals which helped them accomplish or aligned with their goals. It was really dumb and a waste of time.
 
I'd look at it this way. There's no way in hell anyone will know if you're doing a good job with such ambiguous language. Just tell them you're fantastic.
 
If your manager is anything like me he is buried under a mountain of other corporate bullshit and you are only seeing the tip. Instead of being pissed about your non goals be happy your job isn't entirely based on wading through that crap like your manager does.

Did I mention that middle management sucks?
 
Look at it from a different perspective. It's such general bullshit it looks like a license to rate yourself. So, work on what you like and write up a glowing summary of what you accomplished in corporate speak. Go all out, remember you can never lay on the corporate speak too thick. You'll be the Vice President of corporate alignment and strategy in no time. 🙂
 
The "soft goals" have always seemed pretty pointless. Give me a goal that can be objectively measured (get this certification, bill this many hours, lead this many internal training sessions, etc.). All subjective goals basically mean "appear to be doing a good job."
 
Blackjack200 said:
Yeah, this is not common at all in my industry. I have many friends that have moved on to other groups and they tell me how different it is. Giving clear, measurable goals is the best way to motivate employees, and any good manager wants that.
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Or, looking at it from the other side of the mirror: This is a perfect opportunity for YOU to achieve what is not common in your career field. You would have no competition at your work b/c "nobody wants to take on that BS task".

If you achieve it, you would have PRIMO ammunition to ask for a considerable raise. Or, really good fodder for a targeted resume.

If I were you, I'd give this a shot (not to the exclusion of my primary duties) and keep detailed records, email trail to mgmt., etc.

Most often, "clear and measurable goals" are great...they allow common people to keep their common job. But sometimes, the person that grabs the bull by it's slippery horns and wins, comes out on top. 🙂
 
joshsquall said:
The "soft goals" have always seemed pretty pointless. Give me a goal that can be objectively measured (get this certification, bill this many hours, lead this many internal training sessions, etc.). All subjective goals basically mean "appear to be doing a good job."
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They're not pointless, they met the requirement of the necessity to set "goals " for the op. Next!
 
I've never had goals aside from "Don't screw up". I like that. I also like autonomy. Half the time no one knows what it is I'm doing. The joys of not working for big corporations. I don't think I could deal with the bullshit.
 
lxskllr said:
I've never had goals aside from "Don't screw up". I like that. I also like autonomy. Half the time no one knows what it is I'm doing. The joys of not working for big corporations. I don't think I could deal with the bullshit.
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Amen. It's a vicious circle though. Few have the courage to quit because private companies rarely pay as well and all you have to sacrifice is your soul to the corporation. Hell, you weren't using it anyway.
 
MagnusTheBrewer said:
Amen. It's a vicious circle though. Few have the courage to quit because private companies rarely pay as well and all you have to sacrifice is your soul to the corporation. Hell, you weren't using it anyway.
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I work for a private company. No one is expected to sell any part of their soul. The only really bad part is that big things tend to happen quite fast. When big stuff pops up, things get nuts. But no one is asked or expected to work crazy hours. Unless you are IT, sometimes we work crazy hours. But then again sometimes we goof off for days at a time when it's slow.
 
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