• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Just got back from my cousin's wedding.

Page 3 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
I am just happy my parents are not the comparing kind. Yes, Taiwanese, Southern Taiwanese to be exact. They are not into the comparing kid's performance thing at all. At least it looks that way to me. I guess it helps that I am doing ok 🙂
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: fuzzybabybunny
The icing on the cake is that my parents are just outright envious, and the first thing they did was ask "why can't you be more like your cousin?"

*sigh*
no way. did your parents actually come out and say that to you? craptastic parents if they did.

welcome to the world of asian families. i get to hear stuff like that from my parents atleast a few times a month. "why can't you be like this successful friend/friend's kid/relative/classmate/etc" 🙁
 
Given that everything described about their wedding is true, the detail about X3 really doesn't fit.
50k for a wedding, but they are thinking about buying x3? That's just odd.
 
Originally posted by: daveymark
Originally posted by: Slew Foot
1.4 mill in Palo Alto near stanford? That's like a 1200 sqft house.

was thinking the same thing....sounds like middle class californians to me

I wouldn't call it middle class. Middle class is a house in Sunnyvale, Milpitas, Mountain View, etc. Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Los Altos, Walnut Creek - that's 'upper end' of middle class or upper class depending on the house location (if there's 'Hills' following the town name) and its size.

1.4 mil will fetch you more than 1200 sq. feet in Palo Alto, especially if they snatched it during the depression a couple of years ago.
 
Originally posted by: uhohs
During the dinner they showed a slideshow of their pictures on their $2K 30" Apple monitor and a slideshow on a projector. One of the pictures showed the husband with the job offers he got straight out of college. The stack was about a foot and a half thick.

lol, that's pretty douche/arrogantastic

that was my first thought
 
Heh, my friend's house is easily much more than 10 million. It is east of the 405, and south of Ventura Blvd. It's literally "South of the Boulevard." The house is 4-5 stories high, I wasn't sure. The view was outstanding from the second story of the backyard. You could see a full 180 degree view of the whole San Fernando Valley (behind was hill, obviously). He has a sauna and bathroom in the poolhouse. The entrance is guarded by 2 story high marble columns and giant lions. They want to level the first floor of the backyard and put an ice hockey rink... in So Cal! WTF! The third floor of the backyard was very nice, and that was where the first floor of the house started.

EDIT: Oh, and the only official source of income is his dad's business... a fucking pawn shop... talk about a front. 😛
 
$1.4M houses are common in SF Bay area (Especially in Palo Alto area) and X3 is a common sight here too

a cheap old condo in a ghetto/low income area costs ~350-400+ here. In my city, ~50yr old houses start ~700k+ (~1300-1500 sq ft). If you want a decent single family house in a good neighborhood with good schools, $1M is the starting (talking about ~4 bedroom, ~1600-1800 sq ft)
 
You've lived with your parents' pressure all your life and you still haven't learned to cope with it? I say let their words flow off of you like water off a duck's back. With any luck they'll be dead soon.
 
Originally posted by: Boztech
Originally posted by: uhohs
During the dinner they showed a slideshow of their pictures on their $2K 30" Apple monitor and a slideshow on a projector. One of the pictures showed the husband with the job offers he got straight out of college. The stack was about a foot and a half thick.

lol, that's pretty douche/arrogantastic

that was my first thought

Same
 
Originally posted by: fuzzybabybunny
My cousin's 28 and the groom is 30. Both are absolutely beautiful people (both physically and mentally) and had been dating for 4 years. They are absolutely the right people for each other. Both embody the essence of their parents' hopes and dreams.

My cousin used to work at Agilent in IT. She graduated at the top of her class in college. She now does real estate, buying homes and fixing them up and reselling them.

The husband worked for Intel designing processors for the server market. He now works somewhere else designing hardware for the server market.

They live in California in a 1.4 MILLION dollar house literally a stone's throw away from the Stanford campus. They eat out five days out of the week and are thinking about buying a BMW X3.

They've traveled to literally every continent except Antarctica. They have a web gallery and there are all these pictures of them in China, in Taiwan, in South America, in Japan, etc. The bachelor party was in Spain and they got their engagement photos done by some famous photographer in Taiwan, who did an absolutely masterful job for $4,000. They paid for the entire wedding themselves ($50,000), which took place at a luxurious Ritz Carlton/golf course at Half Moon Bay overlooking the ocean. There were two photographers, two videographers, and a 5 course gourmet meal.

During the dinner they showed a slideshow of their pictures on their $2K 30" Apple monitor and a slideshow on a projector. One of the pictures showed the husband with the job offers he got straight out of college. The stack was about a foot and a half thick.

I love my cousin so much. She was like a sister to me when I was young and always took care of me. But it's just so hard to ignore their sheer level of success. These are people who are absolutely set for life, and they aren't even past 30. I'd be lucky to get one job offer out of college and to have even a quarter of their financial success by the time I'm 30. Not to mention I feel that there is no chance in hell I will have found anyone who loves me so much at that age, nor will I have visited nearly the number of places they've been.

The icing on the cake is that my parents are just outright envious, and the first thing they did was ask "why can't you be more like your cousin?"

*sigh*

Now I'm back home in bumblefuck Ohio preparing to hand my craptastic resume out to employers who probably won't even give me a second look at the career fair on Wednesday. *cries*

Those pictures are amazing, the ones posted on SmugMug, that is.
 
bah, there's always someone below you, and someone above you. some of the ones above you are total pricks, and flaunt they're success like the ones you've described. your parents are being total dicks and not happy with what they've got. personally, even though I'm not back home enjoying life and driving my car(i love my car), I'm happy i have a nice job, air conditioning, I'm not getting blown up/shot at, and i can talk to everyone like this. look at the pluses in life instead of comparing yourself with everyone else.

edit: and you've just shown me a website(in your sig) that i can put all my photos as well, and they wont get resized. YAY. 😀
 
Originally posted by: Imdmn04
There are way more flamboyant/showy successful people than the truly modest successful people. Simply because humility can only go so far if you wanna go far and beyond.

I totally disagree. But because modest successful people don't stand out, I guess neither of us can prove who's right. Remember one thing, flamboyant and showy does not equal successful. There's always the option of massive debt for anyone who wants to look the part. People in California who used their home equity to finance a lifestyle they couldn't actually afford know it.

They don't have the saying "all hat, no cattle" for nothing.
 
There will always be people that seem to "get all the good breaks" in life. I was not one of those people. But, roughly 15 years after I pulled my head out of my ass and started doing something to better myself, I'm almost to where I want to be.

I make a good living, travel a bit for business and will have all my debt paid off in about a year. Then I'll own NO ONE A DIME.

Looking back to where I WAS and seeing where I am NOW, I couldn't be happier.

We've all been in similar situations as the OP before. I have two cousins that are both big-time-paycheck doctors/researchers. One is a Petrol-chemist, the other a Marine Biologist.

The former makes roughly $400K/year plus bonuses for whatever new oil/lubricant thingee he invents and the company patents. The latter makes about $200K...neither are hurting, obviously.

They both went to a hell of a lot of schooling, and quite frankly, they're both a lot smarter than I am. 😱

I'm happy with my station in life and don't compare my financial position to anyone's anymore.

Just deal with your parents for as long as it takes. If they disgust you that much, when you can finally move out on your own, you can disown them if it pleases you. They shouldn't be messing with your head like that. Doesn't matter if it's an "oriental thing" or whatever. Mental abuse is mental abuse.
 
Originally posted by: uhohs
During the dinner they showed a slideshow of their pictures on their $2K 30" Apple monitor and a slideshow on a projector. One of the pictures showed the husband with the job offers he got straight out of college. The stack was about a foot and a half thick.

lol, that's pretty douche/arrogantastic

Yeah...people like that always have skeletons in their closet. I bet they divorce after he has a gay affair within 2 years.
 
Originally posted by: FoBoT
:music:
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...
:music:

Always look at the bright side of death
When your taking you last terminal breath
'cause when you look at it, life's a piece of sh~t
Always look on the bright side of death
 
Originally posted by: Pliablemoose
I dunno, living that large is pretty stupid if you ask me...

The richest person I know is making about $20K/year less than I do and she's in Myanmar working with people that could live for a month with what we spend on a visit to Starbucks.

Guess I measure success on a different scale than most.

Agreed, My wife and I are fairly well off career wise (lawyer and federal agent, respectively), but we both work reidiculous hours. I think we'd be happier with 20% less money and 20% more time.

And for the record, a 1.4 million dollar home in california ain't much to speak of, unless of course it is in some backwater place like Ridgecrest (propos to anyone who knows where risgecrest is on a map)
 
Originally posted by: Turin39789
why is everyone in this thread equating success with money?

Because if you live in a rotten neighborhood in fear of being mugged or your wife being accosted on the way home and your car gets broken into weekly and you sleep 4 people in the same room b/c your roach-infested apartment only HAS one bedroom and they sell various drugs in front of and IN the building you live in, then it's b/c you have no money. You have no money b/c you are not successful.

Being successful /= being rich.
Being successful = having enough $$ to live a safe, comfortable life.


BTW; that little paragraph above described my childhood, the first 18 years of my life. We had no money b/c my father had no skills and no idea nor motivation on how to get himself and his family out of that shithole we lived in. The fact that he had an 8th-grade education and liked to gamble on football didn't help. He was not successful.
 
Originally posted by: MichaelD
Originally posted by: Turin39789
why is everyone in this thread equating success with money?

Because if you live in a rotten neighborhood in fear of being mugged or your wife being accosted on the way home and your car gets broken into weekly and you sleep 4 people in the same room b/c your roach-infested apartment only HAS one bedroom and they sell various drugs in front of and IN the building you live in, then it's b/c you have no money. You have no money b/c you are not successful.

Being successful /= being rich.
Being successful = having enough $$ to live a safe, comfortable life.


BTW; that little paragraph above described my childhood, the first 18 years of my life. We had no money b/c my father had no skills and no idea nor motivation on how to get himself and his family out of that shithole we lived in. The fact that he had an 8th-grade education and liked to gamble on football didn't help. He was not successful.

Not to rag on your father, but it's not that he wasn't successful, he was just plain dumb. Being unsuccessful is trying something and failing. Being dumb is not knowing how to try, not wanting to try at all, or knowing how to try, and doing the exact opposite.

While there is no one secret to "financial" success, the one that is generally most prevalent is a fairly simple concept, but decidely hard to implement. Specifically, it is to: 1) get the best education you can; 2) do the best you can at everything you do; 3) don't expect any handouts in life, if you want something, work for it; and 4) to risk someone calling me out for quoting ducktails, "work smarter, not harder."

Edit; Just so we're clear Turin, I had the same childhood as you, though not to as an extreme degree. My dad was a painting contractor who hated working (he worked maybe 16 weeks a year), my mom was a bookeeper (NOT, an accountant, trust me). The best memories I have of my childhood are those where my parents were not fighting about the money they didn't have.

 
Dumb? I dunno about that. He just had no patience. ZERO. He'd go from job to job to job. Get into an argument w/the boss, curse him out and either quit or get fired.

He tried many jobs and failed. So he was unsuccessful. He never sat on his ass and collected unemployment (they didn't give it away back then anyway) he always actively looked for jobs. His desire to support his family SEEMED to be strong...but we never did get out of that shithole.

I go home and visit Mom once a year or so; I hate it. Just being in that area turns my stomach.

Anyway....good luck to the OP. 🙂
 
Turn this around on your parents. Next time Brad and Angelina are on TV, tell them how disappointed you are that you didn't get parents like that.
 
Back
Top