Just found out my gf is cheating on me!!!

[LuckyTaxi]

Forget the pregnancy thought, I have major issues here. I just found out today that she's cheating on me!
This really hurts! :disgust:

Spoke with one of her good friends, and it seems my gf has been lying to me and she went out with her
gf's bf's brother and they made out once. the sad part is, this guy's an idiot, one of those wanna be gang
bangers who drinks beer all day.

Her friend told me everything and told me the reason why my gf is looking elsewhere is becuase she's unhappy.
Its all because I hardly have time for her. I'm taking three classes during the first summer session during
the evening and weekends are spent with her, but it doesnt seem to be enough for her. it really hurts
because im juggling school, job searching, her, along with personal issues at home and this is what I get?

also, just got off the phone with her friend and it has been confirmed she is out with the guy.

the ONLY problem is, to save her friend from being exposed, how will i go about this? to start off with, i will
use tonight as an example and ask her where she went. (funny -- my gf is on the phone right now lying about everything.
telling me she was at her other gf's house and the truth is her gf was sleeping the whole time!!!)

this freaking blowwwwwwwwwwww!!!! im sooooooooooooo hurt right now. i wanna cry, but i can't!!!!!!
i cant sleep so im venting on here. my hands are shaking and shes on the other end of the phone now BSing about everything!
oh man...i need prooooof

 

[Rallispec]

sorry man... i know how much it sucks.

show this bitch you won't put up with her and leave her.

 

[Frosty3799]

shizzzzzzzz bro, sorry to hear. hope you get that all straightened out. how long have you guys been together, and how serious is it?

 

[bunker]

Obviously this relationship is through. Get it over with before she can and dump her.

 

[LuckyTaxi]

Just got off the phone with her

G/F -- "Honey do you trust me"
ME -- "Yea, why?"
G/F -- "Nothing, I just want you to"

Where that came from I dont know?!?!

She goes to bed 10 minutes later, but before she leaves

GF -- "Honey you promise me you wont cheat on me?"
ME -- "Yes you dummy, why would I?!"
GF -- "Promise me we'll move in together?"
ME -- "When I find a job"
GF -- "I really really love you"
ME -- "Yea me too...."

Mind you I'm boiling inside and I dont even wanna say yes to all that stuff. I can't really confront her because I have to wait until
Saturday when I see her friend. This way I can quesiton my gf about her whereabouts tonight. I have to wait for her other gf.

 

[LuckyTaxi]

Originally posted by: Frosty3799
shizzzzzzzz bro, sorry to hear. hope you get that all straightened out. how long have you guys been together, and how serious is it?

Was together in HS for a year then broke up. talked as friends up until last year when we got back together.
so, i knew her since 97 and it's 2002. I would say it's been a long time considering the fact we know each other.
i am VERY attach to her family and it would be sad to say goodbye to them more than her. i love her siblings and i enjoy spending
time with her family.

 

[minendo]

Give me her number and I will act as the Official AT Break Up Service.

 

[pulse8]

If she's really cheating on you and is asking if you're moving in together...dump her. Don't give her any explanation, just dump her. She sounds like a manipulating liar and only cares about herself.

Get out while you can because chances are that it's only going to get worse.

 

[Tallgeese]

For your gf...

Welcome to Dumpsville!
POPULATION: You

 

[Viper GTS]

Find out where she goes & catch her in the act.

Make it look like an accident.

Tell her to kiss your ass, & then just leave.

Viper GTS

 

[Frosty3799]

thats cool then man. good luck straightening this out. if both of you really wanna be together, it will work.

 

[ThePresence]

I'm not really good at this stuff (obviously), but it seems to me like she might be regreting what she did. Why else would she say all these things if she doesnt think that you know about it? Why the move in thing? Why the I really really love you thing? What would be the point? I think it may be POSSIBLE that she regrets it, at least consider that before dumping her.

 

[minendo]

I think it may be POSSIBLE that she regrets it, at least consider that before dumping her.

Regret? BS she cheated on you. Drop her and move on. Cheating is something that should not be tolerated. If you let her get away with crap like this, what else will you let her get away with?

 

[pyonir]

do you have visual confirmation? how much can you trust her friend? i would get all the facts straight first...catch her in the act or get her to admit it. but...everyone here wants to burn her at the stake....so do what you like.

just giving you my 2 cents.

 

[brxndxn]

BEST ADVICE EVER: Break up with her and just tell her the reason is because you need more time to yourself, your job, your school, etc. Do not ever let her know that you know she cheated on you. - That way, you'll be considred choice A meat by all of her friends and friends' friends... This is because they all know that she cheated on you and that you knew too... but you broke up with her by keeping your dignity.

 

[HappyPuppy]

If I understand your situation correctlly, this girl is your "girlfriend." The word "girlfriend" implies that she is not your wife, concubine or slave. There is no legal agreement between the two of you to stay monogamistic. She owes you, and you owe her, nothing.

I see nothing wrong with this situation, except that you are upset.

 

[minendo]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
If I understand your situation correctlly, this girl is your "girlfriend." The word "girlfriend" implies that she is not your wife, concubine or slave. There is no legal agreement between the two of you to stay monogamistic. She owes you, and you owe her, nothing.

I see nothing wrong with this situation, except that you are upset.

So it is ok for your girlfriend to bang as many people as she wants until you guys get married? Probably a bad question for you since I am assuming you have a girlfriend.

 

[LuckyTaxi]

Don't give her any explanation, just dump her. She sounds like a manipulating liar and only cares about herself.

I find this to be very true! She found out my summer will be spent taking summer courses from May to August. She isn't
liking it and asked me who is more important. School or her. What kind of question is that?! I obviously said school and she
got quite pissed. At first I thought maybe I should have thought about the answer some more, but her friend and my friends
said I made the right call. School is more important indeed. For someone to complain and ask such a question, well, to me that
signafies this person is selfish and doesnt care about anything other than her. Another example is the things I do for her.
I am currently unemploy and living on a pot of money I managed to save. Gas prices are ridiculous and she doesnt understand
when there's no need for me to come down and see her (I may have things to take care of on my end), she gets pissed! She doesnt
care that I would have to drop my plans all of a sudden and go see her just to please her!

Find out where she goes & catch her in the act. Make it look like an accident. Tell her to kiss your ass, & then just leave.

Very hard for me to do. No clue as to when she normally goes out because she uses her other gf (let's call her Mary, Mary is
dating some dude and this guys bro is the one "my gf" is seeing). everytime she goes out, she tells me she's going out with Mary.
She goes out with her only when she knows I can't come down to see her (i.e. I'm in school or taking my mom shopping).

Ever seen the show "Cheaters?" Man that show is hilarious and i was thinking about that! As revenge I even thought about having
her "kiss my ass" and then dump her, but like someone else said, I would lose my dignity.

I'm not really good at this stuff (obviously), but it seems to me like she might be regreting what she did. Why else would she say all these things if she doesnt think that you know about it? Why the move in thing? Why the I really really love you thing? What would be the point? I think it may be POSSIBLE that she regrets it, at least consider that before dumping her.

I've been thinking about this. Why else is she saying all of this?! Maybe it is me and the way I am and the crap I have to take care of and she's just being impatient. What more would a gf want from her bf and maybe I can't offer it to her. Heck, I know i can't at the moment, but it hurts to know she doesnt have the patience with me anylonger. She still has to understand I'm trying to finish school.

BEST ADVICE EVER: Break up with her and just tell her the reason is because you need more time to yourself, your job, your school, etc. Do not ever let her know that you know she cheated on you. - That way, you'll be considred choice A meat by all of her friends and friends' friends... This is because they all know that she cheated on you and that you knew too... but you broke up with her by keeping your dignity.

Another possibility for me. I would hate to have this huge confrontation with her and leave on a bad note. I would like to say goodbye to her siblings and tell them that it was nice knowing them. It will be very very tough to leave them. If i leave on a bad note, then everyone in her family will think I'm some jerk. If i leave in a good manner, then maybe ppl will respect my decision.

What really hurts is that her gf (the one who told me about this -- call her Jane) tells me "everyone" knows she's seeing this guy. You know how you go places and ppl notice you. Well, she says many of the ppl I see around her neighborhood sees me with her and knows I'm going out with her. Now, ppl are starting to know this other guy she's been going out with. So in a way, I'm embarrass because everyone knows something that I dont! Well, I do now. Mary and her bf knows but have decided to stay out of this!

I've only slept for 3 hours. All I can picture is "my gf" on the couch making out with this guy. Jane told me that Mary, her bf, his bro, and "my gf" were at his house and "my gf" and the guy were making out! This is freaking nasty and I wonder what else she does with him! What really bothers me is the guy she chose. I mean, if it was someone better than me, then I probably wouldn't take this as hard. I would atleast comprehend that she's not happy and she's found someone better than me. Fine, that I can accept. It hurts to know she picked out some moron who doesnt even work and who's known as a player! Drinks beer for fun and gets drunk. I know my gf is smarter than that, but something is wrong with her!

I think the next step is to catch her in the act. This weekend would be nice because she has a wedding banquet to attend. Interestingly enough, she tells me I can go home @ 4PM so that she can get ready for the wedding. I wonder who's picking her up?

 

[exp]

Oh man, you are in the *perfect* position here. She doesn't know that you know!! Do you realize what an advantage this is? You can play her any way you want...you can make this the most humiliating time of her life. Just be sure not to take too long because you don't want her to initiate the breakup.

You need hard proof first, but more importantly you need to obtain that proof without her knowledge (in order to keep the intelligence deficit in your favor). Hidden camera? Private Investigator? Whatever. The point is: if you get visual confirmation without being caught you can destroy her. Spread pics on the Net if you want, apply to adult film studios using her pics and address, any tactic you want--the possibilities are endless. And best of all, if you remain undetected you can do it and still break up with her "in a good way". [insert evil laugh here]

Don't feel any pity for this b!tch. She is using you and everyone knows it. You are a laughingstock and she is to blame. Make her pay, I say. :| Of course, if that's not your style go ahead and do a standard breakup, but you'll be wasting a golden opportunity for revenge.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Find out where they are going and confront her.

She didn't just do it once out of unhappiness, she continues to do so, keeping you at a leash as backup basically. She wants to have fun with that guy, and marry with you later on, demanding that you stay true to her while she doesn't stay true to you. It's up to you what to do from there basically: If you can and want to forgive her, and trust her not to do it again you could talk it out and try to continue where you left off, otherwise I'd say break the relationship.
Trust is gone now and will never fully return. If she loved you she wouldn't have done this, looks more like you are a convinient security for the rest of her life, after she's had her fun.

 

[flavio]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
If I understand your situation correctlly, this girl is your "girlfriend." The word "girlfriend" implies that she is not your wife, concubine or slave. There is no legal agreement between the two of you to stay monogamistic. She owes you, and you owe her, nothing.

I see nothing wrong with this situation, except that you are upset.

You are either a fool or ignorant because you've never had a girlfriend. It's not about "legal agreements".

 

[LuckyTaxi]

From what Jane tells me, I think my gf is "using" this guy for whatever reasons. Now, if I find out she's having sex with him, good lord that would so be it!

i definately think she does "love" me but right now i cant please her by spending enough time with her. then again she has to understand my situation.

like some ppl commented, I need hard proof w/o having her suspect her friend telling me, I cant do anything until i catch her in the act. tomorrow will be an interesting day

 

[Stiler]

Hire a PI and have him get pictures, etc of her in the act and then when she's in a all touchy feely mood with you bust out a photo ablum with some older pictures of you and her and you both look thru them and have the ones of her cheating in there and i think that'll be a feel good way to make her pay for it.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: lilcam
From what Jane tells me, I think my gf is "using" this guy for whatever reasons. Now, if I find out she's having sex with him, good lord that would so be it!

i definately think she does "love" me but right now i cant please her by spending enough time with her. then again she has to understand my situation.

like some ppl commented, I need hard proof w/o having her suspect her friend telling me, I cant do anything until i catch her in the act. tomorrow will be an interesting day

If she loved you she wouldn't just start dating other guys. Unless she has no morals whatsoever. If those friends of her can confirm she didn't stay at their place, and she keeps claiming that, just tell her that you know as a fact that she was not there, and that you know she went to see that guy. If you ask her if it was so she'll most likely deny, if you state it as a fact chances are higher she'll try to defend herself by telling you it's not as bad as it seems or something, thus showing she did indeed do so.

 

[joohang]

Damn that sucks. :|