Just found out my coworker called in sick today because he hurt himself with his...

[Red Storm]

The real question is was he in the shower and did he mention this to your coworker.

 

[ShawnD1]

fleshlight. I said bullshit, but they said he was dead serious. I'm thinking that's too crazy to even make up

At my work, you'd probably get bitched at for pulling this. Sick days are so you can NOT INFECT COWORKERS. Sore dicks are not infectious, so your ass is expected to be at work.