Just found out my coworker called in sick today because he hurt himself with his...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by brainhulk, Jan 9, 2013.

  1. brainhulk

    brainhulk Diamond Member

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    fleshlight. I said bullshit, but they said he was dead serious. I'm thinking that's too crazy to even make up

    [​IMG]
     
  2. ImpulsE69

    ImpulsE69 Lifer

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    MOAR LUBE! STAT!



    ...why on earth would you even admit to that?
     
  3. The_Dude8

    The_Dude8 Diamond Member

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    did his dick got stuck in the fleshlight? Does the fleshlight comes in asian fit like oakley sunglasses?
     
  4. Red Squirrel

    Red Squirrel Lifer

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    Doh, DIY fleshlight? Used old rusty cast iron pipe instead of PVC, and it broke? He's going to die.
     
  5. brainhulk

    brainhulk Diamond Member

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    my coworker who took the call (female) said he used one that was too tight fitting and he hurt himself when he tried to fap too hard...wtf. Still can't believe he would tell her that

    She asked him why he would use one of those when he has a girlfriend, his reply was he wanted something quick and his girlfriend wasnt home...
     
    #5 brainhulk, Jan 9, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2013
  6. SheHateMe

    SheHateMe Diamond Member

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    How did he get hurt, isn't the thing soft?
     
  7. Engineer

    Engineer Elite Member

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    Not when you stick it in the fleshlight.:sneaky:
     
  8. MayorOfAmerica

    MayorOfAmerica Senior member

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    I suspect it was a thinly veiled dick-size brag. A female coworker picks up the phone so he "captializes" on the opportunity.
     
  9. Number1

    Number1 Diamond Member

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    Your coworker hey:sneaky:

    What line of "work" are you guys in anyway?
     
  10. xSauronx

    xSauronx Lifer

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    maybe he wanted to BS for an off day and has a good sense of humor?
    or maybe he has the clap and has to see a doc.
     
  11. sze5003

    sze5003 Lifer

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    I call bs lol
     
  12. waggy

    waggy No Lifer

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    ok. say it's real and happened to you. Who would admit such a thing!?
     
  13. dawp

    dawp Diamond Member

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    I'm so glad I don't need a reason to take time off as often as I have caused myself to be sick from drinking.
     
  14. chitwood

    chitwood Golden Member

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  15. PottedMeat

    PottedMeat Lifer

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    so this will get documented right?
     
  16. brainhulk

    brainhulk Diamond Member

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    We have a "shame list" where people have to write down the time/date/reason for sick calls. I crossed out sick and wrote down flashlight injury in the reason space
     
  17. sze5003

    sze5003 Lifer

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    Where the hell do you work. Someone would get fired here for doing something like that
     
  18. waggy

    waggy No Lifer

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    that's a good way for the business to get sued actually.
     
  19. brainhulk

    brainhulk Diamond Member

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    why would i get fired, i was writing down the truth. but just mispelled fleshlight
     
  20. DrunkenSano

    DrunkenSano Platinum Member

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    Incoming sexual harassment lawsuit. The guy who called out sick is lucky.


    If I tell a female coworker she looked damn hot in that dress today, I am telling the truth too but I'd still get in trouble for sexual harassment.
     
  21. Gigantopithecus

    Gigantopithecus Diamond Member

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    lol, nice :D
     
  22. rivan

    rivan Diamond Member

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    This. I've never understood why some people feel like they have to go into ANY detail.

    Me: "Won't be in."

    OR, if I'm feeling especially generous, "Won't be in. Sick."

    Other people, though, feel the need to describe the color and texture of their phlegm, the consistency of their excrement and/or the color/shape/smell of their wound.

    Seriously - quit oversharing. You won't be in - it's not the end of the world.
     
  23. olds

    olds Elite Member

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    I had a co-worker call in sick because she hurt her back wiggling on the bed trying to get into her jeans.
     
  24. bigrash

    bigrash Lifer

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    I call bs too. Why would he admit to that?
     
  25. sze5003

    sze5003 Lifer

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    I hate how my pm or manager asks why I'm off after I say I'm not feeling too good or I'm sick today. Then its followed by just work from home if you can.