This thread is hilarious!
And VFAA you've held up well with all the lickins you're taking on this (most of them justifiable, btw).
Rather than further insult your maturity, or lack thereof, in this issue I thought I would offer some tips for the next time you go to a dealership.
1) Always, Always, Always know what you want BEFORE you go to the dealership. Also, check the internet for dealerships, send some emails looking for quotes, check stock, print out all the info you can get on the make and model of the car you want AND take it with you to the dealership.
2) Only bring your license and insurance. Do NOT bring cc, check book, cash, or payoff book of your current vehicle. Yes, theoretically you can still close a deal without that stuff, but it gives you some leverage and ammunition against the salesperson. Also, the cc for a credit check was B*llshit talk. You do not need a cc for a credit check. Next time a dealer says this turn right around and walk out. Put your hands over your ears, literally, if need be.
3) Bring someone, anyone, with you who will keep you in reality. A parent, yes even your mommy, will help.
4) Do not talk monthly payment, talk total sales price. Once you have that, talk trade-in value. Do not buy at MSRP Nor Sales Price. You can always get it lower.
5) If you do not like how you are being approached or feel pressured, Low-ball them to the extent that they say No. Deal off, walk out. This has worked for me.
6) Always keep the upper hand in the conversation, be stern when you talk. Look them in the eye when you or they speak. You act like a kid, they will treat you like a kid.
And as a last resort:
7) If you need to tell them that you need a few minutes to think about it - ALONE. Walk around outside towards your car, then after a minute or so, jump in your car AND TAKE OFF.
Here is one last unusual tip:
And lastly, I am a coniseur of hi-to custom vans. A lot of dealerships sell them, but salespersons don't like to for a couple of reasons. Margins are low = low commission. Most of them have no idea what the hell they are talking about when they show them to you. The eventually get embarrassed and walk off "to get someone else" or "to get some info on the vehicle". This is perfect time to get out. So next time you feel pressured, turn the tables by asking to view some vans, primarily custom vans. They'll soon lose interest in you. Take it from me, it has happened several times to me AND I was actually in the market for one.