Joke of the day

Capitalizt

Banned
Nov 28, 2004
1,513
0
0
Subject: Laugh and Be Merry!

A retired corporate executive, now a widower, decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron..I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please.

Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," he blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?" She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean . . " he swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.

"Don't tell me you've built a Golf Course
 

dighn

Lifer
Aug 12, 2001
22,820
4
81
I heard this joke a week or two ago but the punch line was "You mean I could check my e-mail too?!"
 

ForumMaster

Diamond Member
Feb 24, 2005
7,792
1
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Originally posted by: HaxorNubcake
meh. unrealistic: golf over horny semi naked seemingly attractive girl?

yeah exactlly. when i read the punch line i was like, WTF? what the hell is wrong with this guy?
 

dotcom173

Senior member
Jan 16, 2006
580
0
0
i think there was too much build-up for the joke. maybe if the joke was shorter or something. maybe i was expecting something really awesome after reading through the joke for 15 mins.
 

altonb1

Diamond Member
Feb 5, 2002
6,432
0
71
Originally posted by: dotcom173
i think there was too much build-up for the joke. maybe if the joke was shorter or something. maybe i was expecting something really awesome after reading through the joke for 15 mins.

15 mins? You may need to call Hooked on Phonics!

But I agree--too much buildup with a lame payoff.
 

TuxDave

Lifer
Oct 8, 2002
10,571
3
71
The final punchline varies. Unfortunately this choice of punchline is :thumbsdown:
 

crystal

Platinum Member
Nov 5, 1999
2,424
0
76
Since he is a retiree and a widower at that, more than likely he couldn't get a raise if his life depend on it. :D
 

ArchCenturion

Senior member
Aug 6, 2006
890
0
0
Originally posted by: dotcom173
i think there was too much build-up for the joke. maybe if the joke was shorter or something. maybe i was expecting something really awesome after reading through the joke for 15 mins.

Maybe you could read faster if your head wasn't so far up your own @ss.