John Carmack makes me want to scream with his daunting talk on his code for the new DOOM. Someone help me out. My psychologist left me two weeks ago and I have noone to strengthen my grip on sanity. I want to be as intelligent as John in games but I can't see that happening. I know he isn't magical since he's had expierence way back from the 80's and 90's but I can't even tell he's speaking English at times! I'm doing good in math but still I can't understand what he's talking about. He discourages me beyond belief! He makes me feel like nothing since he can just put his head up to a book and absorb all the knowledge in it. I try as hard as I can but I get nothing out of anything.
As far as programming goes, I'm a kind of an amateur. I know classes, functions, variables, overloading-functions, passing and returning, but absolutely nothing about graphics. If I did know the slightest thing on graphics, I'd be at my computer 24/7. From my previous boards you have seen that I am a hardcore gamer and do nearly nothing besides them. I feel selfish talking about myself so much but this problem is prolonging and has yet to be solved.
One thing that you guys may be able to help me with is finding a book that describes the way computers work. Such as the way the electrons or electricity flows through them. Like how John said in one of his interviews how to get all the graphics or something on the GPU instead of the CPU. (Way off so just check out the interviews at http://gamespot.com/gamespot/filters/products/media/0,11100,469881,00.html ) Are there any books out there that can describe a majority of the basics he is talking about such as the triangles and polygon use? I have yet to make a single line in C++ which sounds extremely pathetic. I need a lot of help with this guys or I'm going to be at the local psychiatric ward!
If you guys knew me you'd probably say that I was better off dead. I don't consider myself intelligent at all. I'm impure and evil in my own way. I just don't know what to do. I've thought of becoming just an artist for a game company but that was shot down by seeing everyone else's art and the fact that I suck at art. Programming is for the really smart people which I clearly am not. My stories are nothing but philosophies that are redundant and unoriginal in their nature. I have absolutely no innovation in the world and I am destined for failure. I try hard in school but I get nothing out of it but becoming a conformist and an everyday teenager. I have noone to talk to and I believe I am edging total self-destruction. My guidance counselors think I'm looney and my parents couldn't care less about me. My friends are all leaving me because of my constant talk of failure and sadness. I'm starting to wonder why I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol. Computers are the only thing, the only thing I am decent at. I'm not even going to bring up chicks because it'd be irrelevant and pitiful.
Please, someone help me from losing my sanity.
As far as programming goes, I'm a kind of an amateur. I know classes, functions, variables, overloading-functions, passing and returning, but absolutely nothing about graphics. If I did know the slightest thing on graphics, I'd be at my computer 24/7. From my previous boards you have seen that I am a hardcore gamer and do nearly nothing besides them. I feel selfish talking about myself so much but this problem is prolonging and has yet to be solved.
One thing that you guys may be able to help me with is finding a book that describes the way computers work. Such as the way the electrons or electricity flows through them. Like how John said in one of his interviews how to get all the graphics or something on the GPU instead of the CPU. (Way off so just check out the interviews at http://gamespot.com/gamespot/filters/products/media/0,11100,469881,00.html ) Are there any books out there that can describe a majority of the basics he is talking about such as the triangles and polygon use? I have yet to make a single line in C++ which sounds extremely pathetic. I need a lot of help with this guys or I'm going to be at the local psychiatric ward!
If you guys knew me you'd probably say that I was better off dead. I don't consider myself intelligent at all. I'm impure and evil in my own way. I just don't know what to do. I've thought of becoming just an artist for a game company but that was shot down by seeing everyone else's art and the fact that I suck at art. Programming is for the really smart people which I clearly am not. My stories are nothing but philosophies that are redundant and unoriginal in their nature. I have absolutely no innovation in the world and I am destined for failure. I try hard in school but I get nothing out of it but becoming a conformist and an everyday teenager. I have noone to talk to and I believe I am edging total self-destruction. My guidance counselors think I'm looney and my parents couldn't care less about me. My friends are all leaving me because of my constant talk of failure and sadness. I'm starting to wonder why I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol. Computers are the only thing, the only thing I am decent at. I'm not even going to bring up chicks because it'd be irrelevant and pitiful.
Please, someone help me from losing my sanity.
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