Jesus's middle name is Hume! Caution: Some NSFW images within!

[shortylickens]

I bet he strikes out with all 3:

 

[tynopik]

I bet he strikes out with all 3:

probably hoverhanding too

 

[KMFJD]

 

[shortylickens]

 

[Darwin333]

 

[Darwin333]

 

[Darwin333]

 

[Darwin333]

 

[Darwin333]

 

[Darwin333]

 

[Darwin333]

Straight from court reporters:

 

[Darwin333]

Omg, these are just too funny so yall are getting a few.

 

[Darwin333]

 

[Darwin333]

 

[darkswordsman17]

Professor Scott Steiner:

I bet he strikes out with all 3:

It must suck to be so incredibly intensely sexually frustrated. If you had a Charlie Murphy-esque Rick James story it'd be: "I'd say fuck yo couch, but I see you already did, Shorty"

 

[zinfamous]

That's O.K. Goldie still thinks I'm the man of her dreams.

Something tells me that Overboard is a biopic of highland145, his life, and how he acquired his missus?

 

[SKORPI0]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Woman sues Samsung for $1.8M after cell phone gets stuck inside her vagina

 

[shortylickens]

 

[highland145]

Something tells me that Overboard is a biopic of highland145, his life, and how he acquired his missus?

Is that wrong?

Pics or it didn't happen.

Woman sues Samsung for $1.8M after cell phone gets stuck inside her vagina

Well, she's tearing up so....$750K at the least.

 

[Darwin333]

Well, she's tearing up so....$750K at the least.

You only say that because you'd be perfectly willing to shove the same cellphone up your ass for 4X the time and 4X less the money. That's just sad man, at least make her put in the work!

 

[TheVrolok]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Woman sues Samsung for $1.8M after cell phone gets stuck inside her vagina

You know what's fucked up? She may actually get a settlement.

 

[zinfamous]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Woman sues Samsung for $1.8M after cell phone gets stuck inside her vagina

I love it, this is how we get god-awful user manuals

“Samsung is definitely at fault here as they offer no warning about the dangers and potential risks during the insertion of their products inside their clients male or female body cavities or genitals” Salma Briant’s lawyer, Jim McAfee said in court.

Can't wait to see this warning in the next generation release!

 

[Artorias]

So she wanted to us her phone as a vibrator?

Can we not reward stupid. Let Darwin do its thing.

 

[Stopsignhank]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Woman sues Samsung for $1.8M after cell phone gets stuck inside her vagina

Sorry to break the news, but the World News Daily Report is just like The Onion. They just make stuff up. Literally. I know someone that worked at The Onion. From the World News Daily Reports main page.

World News Daily Report assumes all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content. All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle.

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/

 

[mikeymikec]

Sorry to break the news, but the World News Daily Report is just like The Onion. They just make stuff up. Literally. I know someone that worked at The Onion. From the World News Daily Reports main page.

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/

I didn't see that, I just took one look at the domain name and thought of the 'weekly world news' and this quote from 'So I Married An Axe Murderer':

Charlie Mackenzie: Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, "The paper." The paper contains facts.

May Mackenzie: This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact.