You guys are funny. It's very easy to take the window off of a plane like that.
This reminds me of a funny story. Back in flight school we had an instructor named Daniel "McClouds" McPherson. Don't ask how he got the nickname McClouds. Ok I know you're going to ask so I might as well tell you before you pester me about it. The guy must have had some sort of gastrointestinal problem because shortly after a large meal he would produce more methane than a herd of cattle being chased by a farmhand with a branding iron. Let's just say "someone open a window stat!" was uttered on more than one occasion with a few "someone light a match FFS!" thrown in at times.
It just so happens that one of our illustrius crew of misfit flight school alumni had the misfortune to be paired up with "McClouds" McPullmyfingerson on a genuine McDonnell Douglas DC-10-30 cargo plane from Dallas to New York.
Eddie "Shorty" Shreveport was the poor misfit who was chosen to fill in for McCloud's co-pilot who got sick. To this day we think he may have just been avoiding the hazmat scene flight from hell and faked an illness but who knows. You're probably wondering how Shorty got his nickname. Simply put because he always got the short end of the stick, in more ways than one and let's leave it at that.
In any event true to his name Shorty got the short end of the stick being paired up with McClouds and off the two of them went on their flight northeast bound.
Needless to say at some point during the flight McClouds began what can only be described as a silent but deadly barrage of tear inducing, crowd dispersing, gas mask required for survival emissions. Jupiter would be proud of those gas giants produced that day my friends.
I don't think I need to mention that "someone light a match" is just a figure of speech. Lighting matches on board a flight is not allowed for what should be obvious reasons. As hazardous as McCloud's crop dusting techniques are you really don't want to contend with a fire on board if you don't have to.
And although oxygen masks are available, they are only to be used in emergencies. While I'm sure Shorty would have liked to declare one, a
real emergency this was not. Declaring emergencies on a flight is serious business and not to be taken lightly, unlike breaths if you want to survive McClouds sewage scented air freshener blasts.
But Shorty was desperate. If he was to survive the next few moments he was going to have to think fast, and vomiting on the controls was not an option. He figured he'd open a window to clear the air. There was only one problem. They were 29,900 feet above sea level and the cabin is pressurized. He did the only thing he knew how from his years of training for such events. He opened up his laptop, fired up Adobe Photoshop, and edited the window out of the plane, pasting in the selfie of himself he had taken earlier.
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