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Jesus is returning on 21 May 2011

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"Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday, singing, 'Yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I believe in my heart that what goes up must come down! Amen!' If they did that, we would think they were pretty insecure." -Dan Barker

I wonder what the next great religion will be.. That's actually a serious, and pretty interesting question. It would probably take a pretty significant worldwide catastrophe to change the face of today's religions. Though, the evolution of religion(how ironic is that?) is towards the elimination of religion all together. As more and more "unknowns" are explained, the need for religion diminishes overall.

If I had the money, I would put up billboards in the same areas, proclaiming that the wonderful and almighty Greek Gods are returning on May 20th. You must send a SASE with a donation to PO box 8675309 in order to escape the wrath of Zeus! It is written as it shall be! We accept Cash, Money Orders, and Checks. Cash Preferred.

:hmm:
 
Eli said:
...
I wonder what the next great religion will be.. That's actually a serious, and pretty interesting question. It would probably take a pretty significant worldwide catastrophe to change the face of today's religions. Though, the evolution of religion(how ironic is that?) is towards the elimination of religion all together. As more and more "unknowns" are explained, the need for religion diminishes overall.
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More likely, the ones who keep saying, "The world will end this year!" will say, "See? We were right!"
Just like people who'll go through decades of drought and famine, praying for rain every single day. When it finally does rain, they immediately praise god for answering their prayers. There's no way to lose in a situation like that.

If I had a die, called "I'm going to roll a six!", and rolled it over and over until I got a six and then said, "Six! I totally called it!", observers might find some fault with that.
But if I prayed instead, "God, give me a six," and rolled it over and over until I got a six, I should then be able to say "Thank you, god!" and receive a response of "Praise god!" from the audience.
 
Bateluer said:
Never said he was the son of God or divine in any way or performed the miracles described. Just that he was a real physical person.
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No written accounts of a physical Jesus showed up until the Gospels were written at least 30 years after he died.

It's very possible there was a man named Jesus who taught things that went against traditional Jewish doctrine but the evidence is spurious.

Regardless, the mythical god-man Jesus of the Bible did not exist which is what really matters.
 
JesusComing.jpg
 
Yeah, this is definitely Harold Camping's work. He's broadcast here so I plan to turn his program on that day.

Gonna be fun 😀
 
guyver01 said:
but. i'm not.

Everyone knows The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the true "supreme being"

flying_spaghetti_monster_2-thumb-514x514.jpg


The Original Sistine Chapel ceiling was recently uncovered.

29mons_CA0.jpg
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I'll bet you're a marinara heathen, aren't you? Everyone knows Dr. Alfredo is the true prophet of the FSM and ninjas are his most holy creations NOT PIRATES. Everyone knows everyone knows this.
 
Jeff7 said:
More likely, the ones who keep saying, "The world will end this year!" will say, "See? We were right!"
Just like people who'll go through decades of drought and famine, praying for rain every single day. When it finally does rain, they immediately praise god for answering their prayers. There's no way to lose in a situation like that.

If I had a die, called "I'm going to roll a six!", and rolled it over and over until I got a six and then said, "Six! I totally called it!", observers might find some fault with that.
But if I prayed instead, "God, give me a six," and rolled it over and over until I got a six, I should then be able to say "Thank you, god!" and receive a response of "Praise god!" from the audience.
Click to expand...

God let you roll the six.

/infallible logic
 
I wondered why my neighborhood was so quiet lately. I didn't know Hay-Sus had gone back to Me-hee-ko for Thanksgiving.

It'll be good to have him back. My lawn needs to be mowed.
 
ProfJohn said:
Isn't the return of Jesus a bad thing??

The beginning of the end of the world and all that?
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Depends on whether or not you are living by grace through faith provided by God or if you are a vessel for destruction... I have a fairly good feeling that I'm the latter, but who knows right?

Perknose said:
Big fan of his early career here, but he's older than most of the Stones by now.

No royalty rights from that best selling book he stars in, zero commercial endorsements, not ever a sneaker deal, ok, his agent sucks but this upcoming comeback tour smacks of desperation.

They never know when to pack it in, do they?
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It's his God-Damned fans that are fucking up his grove. But you got one thing right, the comeback tour wont' start until every last one of his fans are harshing the mellow that his freed-spirit love is all about.

zinfamous said:
so...I can wait until then to repent?

cool.
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Interesting thought... I fully believe that whatever time we spend in the grace of God, being what he wants of us on earth under His power alone, will be saved: the rest of humanity's actions are a bunch of crap anyway.

So... you can wait t'll an hour t'll then, or an hour t'll you die.. but then who you are that is saved is what you are in that hour.
 
DixyCrat said:
Better than you think.. which makes it much worse than you would hope.
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Oh I've seen it a few times. The closing song is the best thing ever.

Eidt: if it had been released during all the Grindhouse style moves like Machete or Deathproof it would have been a big hit.
 
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