Jesus is back!

[cbrunny]

http://www.drphil.com/videos/teen-says-shes-pregnant-with-baby-jesus/

Holy Holy Holy! Hallelujah!

 

[GagHalfrunt]

See, that's the problem with people today, they're not trusting. If a pregnant teen claims to be a virgin and that her child will be a god nobody will believe her. But if a pregnant teen that lived 2000 years ago claimed to be a virgin and that her child would be a god they'd build a religion around it. How did we get so cynical?

 

[cbrunny]

See, that's the problem with people today, they're not trusting. If a pregnant teen claims to be a virgin and that her child will be a god nobody will believe her. But if a pregnant teen that lived 2000 years ago claimed to be a virgin and that her child would be a god they'd build a religion around it. How did we get so cynical?

Yeah i know right. but mostly this:

Haley’s mom, Kristi, says her daughter is a “compulsive liar” and “delusional.” She says Haley is not pregnant, and numerous pregnancy tests and doctors have confirmed that .

“My family, my friends, my pastors at church, they don’t believe that I’m pregnant,” Haley says. “I know it’s Jesus. I don’t care if my family disowns me. It really comes down to if you’re a true believer in Jesus or not … I don’t care what the home pregnancy test or a doctor says, when I give birth to my baby, no one is going to deny him because he’s my savior.”

but what has science done lately

 

[IronWing]

This is a different take on things.

 

[dainthomas]

If you're going to have a fake baby Jesus, it's way more plausible if you're actually pregnant.

 

[highland145]

Get that girl a hearing aid. His name was Jose.

 

[Regs]

She also claims Eminem is her father. Which means the father of the mother of Jesus is a rapping saint. She should start up her own church - it would only be half as crazy as Scientology.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

If you're going to have a fake baby Jesus, it's way more plausible if you're actually pregnant.

Anyone that's pregnant can give birth to a baby they claim is god. The real trick is giving birth when you're not pregnant, even Mary couldn't pull that one off. If the girl can manage to squeeze one out I'd believe that it's god.

 

[BxgJ]

If you're going to have a fake baby Jesus, it's way more plausible if you're actually pregnant.

I kinda doubt plausibility has any effect whatsoever on that girl's 'reality'.

 

[BudAshes]

Anyone that's pregnant can give birth to a baby they claim is god. The real trick is giving birth when you're not pregnant, even Mary couldn't pull that one off. If the girl can manage to squeeze one out I'd believe that it's god.

Maybe she will squeeze out a Mr. Hanky and it will be a Christmas Miracle.

 

[Thebobo]

Loonie alert.

 

[highland145]

Loonie alert.

Is she hot? The crazy ones usually are.

 

[GagHalfrunt]

Is she hot? The crazy ones usually are.

Gonna guess no. If she's that crazy and hot too she'd be knocked up for real.

 

[cbrunny]

Is she hot? The crazy ones usually are.

this is actually her:

 

[ControlD]

She's either pregnant or a professional hot dog eater.

 

[cbrunny]

She's either pregnant or a professional hot dog eater.

maybe that's how she became pregnant

 

[ControlD]

maybe that's how she became pregnant

That's how I'll be imagining it once I get out of work.

 

[highland145]

this is actually her:

OMG, I can't get past that point....

 

[nCred]

That's one way to cope with weight gain I guess.

Im not fat, I'm just pregnant with Jesus

 

[GagHalfrunt]

maybe that's how she became pregnant

I convinced my HS girlfriend that was the sure way to not get pregnant.

 

[Newbian]

Someone needs to find god and arrest him for rape.

 

[zinfamous]

Gonna be real funny when it turns out to be an ovarian cyst! hahahahahahahahaha!

 

[highland145]

That ain't funny.

 

[shortylickens]

Jesus was a chump.
Christians are deluded.
Fuck Abraham Lincoln.

 

[kage69]

A holy roller crazier than an outhouse rat. Go figure.