I hope Texashiker is safe!
He hasn't been around lately, must be out on the water doing tug jobs.
He hasn't been around lately, must be out on the water doing tug jobs.
I hope Texashiker is safe!
How is the weather where you are? I know in Fremont where I used to live its been mid to low 60s.
Also, I hear Texashiker is getting as many abortions as he can before the government takes over his state.
hal2kilo
Lifer
- Feb 24, 2009
- 23,472
- 10,356
- 136
nickqt
Diamond Member
- Jan 15, 2015
- 7,548
- 7,701
- 136
I'm fairly certain that FemiNazis trained by ISIS and inoculated with Ebola have captured him, and have him temporarily restrained in a local WalMart until further orders to send him to a FEMA re-education camp. Mostly because of freedom, but also, Benghazi.I hope Texashiker is safe!
Buy gold coins, hyperinflation is right around the corner!
zinfamous
No Lifer
- Jul 12, 2006
- 110,629
- 29,286
- 146
kage69
Lifer
- Jul 17, 2003
- 27,416
- 36,748
- 136
Something tells me this isn't going to get a mention on Fox Noise... :biggrin: Funny stuff.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-stanford/the-pentagons-response-to_b_7251254.html
Recently, Senator Ted Cruz from Texas asked the Pentagon to clarify its intentions with military exercises in Central Texas called "Jade Helm 15." The Pentagon's response follows:
"Dear Senator Cruz:
Thank you for your inquiry into whether the Jade Helm 15 military exercise is the first wave of a federal takeover of Texas, the Trojan Horse, as it were, of the end of sovereignty in the Lone Star State. Our response, contrary to the long tradition of official correspondence and military bureaucracy, is concise: no.
But that's just what you would expect us to say, isn't it?
Perhaps, then, you would prefer not an official proclamation but a reasoned answer. As a master debater in college (Princeton, right?), you surely appreciate the reliability of logic, your public statements over the past few years notwithstanding. If you are disinclined to take the United States Armed Forces at their word when we promise no ill intentions towards Texas, then perhaps your considerable and vaunted intellectual powers, which once posited the regrowth of hymens as a guard against unauthorized incursions in domestic affairs, could be swayed by incontrovertible fact.
I know you think highly of our capabilities. Why else would you advocate for a short war with Iran? If we are indeed that powerful, we could probably launch an attack from any of the 15 U.S. military bases already within Texas' borders. While Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher may have found it necessary, even attractive, to invade countries that can easily be overrun, the present DoD considers such lopsided contests at best unsporting.
As someone who was not born within the borders of this country, it might interest you to know that Texas is already part of the United States. In fact, Texas has twice joined the Union. The first time your adopted state joined the USA in 1845 it set in motion events that led to the Mexican-American War. Later, when Union troops conquered the Southern rebellion, Texas rejoined the Union. It is not, therefore, farfetched to think that Texas' relationship to the rest of the United States could involve war, but please also keep in mind that when we refer to the United States of America, Texas is being implicitly included. We thought about calling it the United States of America and Texas, but we were afraid people might think Texas was a retrograde backwater of reactionary lunatics who think Moses was a Founding Father and laugh at you. This is way better.
Please also consider there are a great many things about Texas and Texan culture that could be threatened by another unnecessary armed conflict between Texas and the United States. We like Texas barbecue. That Green Beret who carried the flag out for the Texas Longhorn football team? That was pretty cool. The wildflowers along the highways are no joke. The late Texan Chris Kyle, the "American sniper," is a hero to many. Texas gave the world Lyndon Johnson, a staggering gift for which America was perhaps not entirely prepared. Without the Lone Star State, the Western swing band Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys would have appeared under the performing name Robert Wills and His Playboys, which is ghastly, or not have existed at all, a possibility that DoD has officially classified as "too awful to contemplate". And we really dig the self-awareness, the love of self that, while occasionally metastasizing into paranoid delusions such as those that motivated your original query, also make Texas a culture with an indelible sense of place.
But, we reiterate, that place is in the United States. On previous visits, we noticed that many of your residents enjoy Social Security and Medicare (you're welcome), volunteer for the armed services, treasure federal parks, wildlife preserves, and wilderness areas, and earn and spend currency backed by the full faith and credit of the United States. With a quick Internet search, I also learned that nearly a third of Texas' total revenue is from Federal funding. In fact, millions of your schoolchildren pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America almost every day. And unlike yourself, they apparently mean it.
There is a fundamental misapprehension that we feel is at the root of your query about our intentions was revealed in a recent comment you made to the press.
We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don't trust what it is saying.
If, Senator Cruz, you believe that the United States military is a political tool of its civilian leadership, you have reached a conclusion unsupported by fact, history and good sense. The troops swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States. To besmirch their loyalty to the country, even in the service of making hackneyed political points in the Republican primary, does not make you a patriot, but a partisan. Even a Princeton and Harvard Law man should know the difference.
Also, it makes you the rudest Canadian we've ever run across.
Sincerely Yours,
Secretary Ashton Carter
---------------------------------------------------
Note: This is not actually a letter from the Secretary of Defense and is, in fact, the work of those under whose bylines it ran. Secretary Carter is much funnier. "
Reactionary fundie zealots and the idiots who pander to them are always good for a hearty laugh, looks like Cruz is actually good for something after all!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jason-stanford/the-pentagons-response-to_b_7251254.html
Recently, Senator Ted Cruz from Texas asked the Pentagon to clarify its intentions with military exercises in Central Texas called "Jade Helm 15." The Pentagon's response follows:
"Dear Senator Cruz:
Thank you for your inquiry into whether the Jade Helm 15 military exercise is the first wave of a federal takeover of Texas, the Trojan Horse, as it were, of the end of sovereignty in the Lone Star State. Our response, contrary to the long tradition of official correspondence and military bureaucracy, is concise: no.
But that's just what you would expect us to say, isn't it?
Perhaps, then, you would prefer not an official proclamation but a reasoned answer. As a master debater in college (Princeton, right?), you surely appreciate the reliability of logic, your public statements over the past few years notwithstanding. If you are disinclined to take the United States Armed Forces at their word when we promise no ill intentions towards Texas, then perhaps your considerable and vaunted intellectual powers, which once posited the regrowth of hymens as a guard against unauthorized incursions in domestic affairs, could be swayed by incontrovertible fact.
I know you think highly of our capabilities. Why else would you advocate for a short war with Iran? If we are indeed that powerful, we could probably launch an attack from any of the 15 U.S. military bases already within Texas' borders. While Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher may have found it necessary, even attractive, to invade countries that can easily be overrun, the present DoD considers such lopsided contests at best unsporting.
As someone who was not born within the borders of this country, it might interest you to know that Texas is already part of the United States. In fact, Texas has twice joined the Union. The first time your adopted state joined the USA in 1845 it set in motion events that led to the Mexican-American War. Later, when Union troops conquered the Southern rebellion, Texas rejoined the Union. It is not, therefore, farfetched to think that Texas' relationship to the rest of the United States could involve war, but please also keep in mind that when we refer to the United States of America, Texas is being implicitly included. We thought about calling it the United States of America and Texas, but we were afraid people might think Texas was a retrograde backwater of reactionary lunatics who think Moses was a Founding Father and laugh at you. This is way better.
Please also consider there are a great many things about Texas and Texan culture that could be threatened by another unnecessary armed conflict between Texas and the United States. We like Texas barbecue. That Green Beret who carried the flag out for the Texas Longhorn football team? That was pretty cool. The wildflowers along the highways are no joke. The late Texan Chris Kyle, the "American sniper," is a hero to many. Texas gave the world Lyndon Johnson, a staggering gift for which America was perhaps not entirely prepared. Without the Lone Star State, the Western swing band Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys would have appeared under the performing name Robert Wills and His Playboys, which is ghastly, or not have existed at all, a possibility that DoD has officially classified as "too awful to contemplate". And we really dig the self-awareness, the love of self that, while occasionally metastasizing into paranoid delusions such as those that motivated your original query, also make Texas a culture with an indelible sense of place.
But, we reiterate, that place is in the United States. On previous visits, we noticed that many of your residents enjoy Social Security and Medicare (you're welcome), volunteer for the armed services, treasure federal parks, wildlife preserves, and wilderness areas, and earn and spend currency backed by the full faith and credit of the United States. With a quick Internet search, I also learned that nearly a third of Texas' total revenue is from Federal funding. In fact, millions of your schoolchildren pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America almost every day. And unlike yourself, they apparently mean it.
There is a fundamental misapprehension that we feel is at the root of your query about our intentions was revealed in a recent comment you made to the press.
We are assured it is a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself to be trustworthy in this administration, the natural consequence is that many citizens don't trust what it is saying.
If, Senator Cruz, you believe that the United States military is a political tool of its civilian leadership, you have reached a conclusion unsupported by fact, history and good sense. The troops swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States. To besmirch their loyalty to the country, even in the service of making hackneyed political points in the Republican primary, does not make you a patriot, but a partisan. Even a Princeton and Harvard Law man should know the difference.
Also, it makes you the rudest Canadian we've ever run across.
Sincerely Yours,
Secretary Ashton Carter
---------------------------------------------------
Note: This is not actually a letter from the Secretary of Defense and is, in fact, the work of those under whose bylines it ran. Secretary Carter is much funnier. "
Reactionary fundie zealots and the idiots who pander to them are always good for a hearty laugh, looks like Cruz is actually good for something after all!
kage69
Lifer
- Jul 17, 2003
- 27,416
- 36,748
- 136
It definitely smacks of satire, but I believe it did come from the Pentagon and not Jason Stanford. So not fake, but not official either? All I know is it hits home and does a great job of illustrating just how nuts people in Texas can be.
A more fitting link that is definitely not satire.
http://mic.com/articles/119732/two-...moving-tribute-to-his-sons-and-family-at-yale
I heard about this from a friend who attended the graduation of a nephew, but never followed up on it. Here is an excerpt from the transcript, and anyone who has ever slung shit at Biden should read it.
"Six weeks after my election, my whole world was altered forever. While I was in Washington hiring staff, I got a phone call. My wife and three children were Christmas shopping, a tractor trailer broadsided them and killed my wife and killed my daughter. And they weren't sure that my sons would live.
Many people have gone through things like that. But because I had the incredible good fortune of an extended family, grounded in love and loyalty, imbued with a sense of obligation imparted to each of us, I not only got help. But by focusing on my sons, I found my redemption.
I can remember my mother a sweet lady looking at me, after we left the hospital, and saying, Joey, out of everything terrible that happens to you, something good will come if you look hard enough for it. She was right,
The incredible bond I have with my children is the gift I'm not sure I would have had, had I not been through what I went through. Who knows whether I would have been able to appreciate at that moment in my life, the heady moment in my life, what my first obligation was...
And I began to commute thinking I was only going to stay a little while four hours a day, every day from Washington to Wilmington, which I've done for over 37 years. I did it because I wanted to be able to kiss them goodnight and kiss them in the morning the next day. No, "Ozzie and Harriet" breakfast or great familial thing, just climb in bed with them. Because I came to realize that a child can hold an important thought, something they want to say to their mom and dad, maybe for 12 or 24 hours, and then it's gone. And when it's gone, it's gone. And it all adds up
But looking back on it, the truth be told, the real reason I went home every night was that I needed my children more than they needed me. Some at the time wrote and suggested that Biden can't be a serious national figure. If he was, he'd stay in Washington more, attend to more important events. It's obvious he's not serious. He goes home after the last vote."
People can and will poke at the guy for his gaffes (which I consider lame after 8 years of listening to Dubya embarrass the country non stop) but I'm convinced as a country we'd be better off if we had more people like Joe in government. I don't agree with him on everything, but I respect the hell out of the man.
OutHouse
Lifer
- Jun 5, 2000
- 36,413
- 616
- 126
Blackjack200
Lifer
- May 28, 2007
- 15,995
- 1,685
- 126
There's no way it's a real official response from the Pentagon to a Senator. It would be all over the news.
- Jan 2, 2001
- 24,988
- 4,330
- 136
Not that I wouldn't love to see a letter like that sent to Cruz but:
"Note: This is not actually a letter from the Secretary of Defense and is, in fact, the work of those under whose bylines it ran. Secretary Carter is much funnier."
"Note: This is not actually a letter from the Secretary of Defense and is, in fact, the work of those under whose bylines it ran. Secretary Carter is much funnier."
MongGrel
Lifer
- Dec 3, 2013
- 38,751
- 3,068
- 121
kage69
Lifer
- Jul 17, 2003
- 27,416
- 36,748
- 136
Sheik Yerbouti
Lifer
- Feb 16, 2005
- 14,030
- 5,321
- 136
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
- 74,459
- 854
- 126
Newell Steamer
Diamond Member
- Jan 27, 2014
- 6,894
- 8
- 0
Did we take over Texas yet? I need to build my Mosque/Abortion/Rape/Texas enslavement camp.
You promised me Barry.
You promised me Barry.
I hope that's real rather than photoshopped. I also hope Righties put as much effort into analyzing it as they did his birth certificate. Put Issa on the job to be sure.
zinfamous
No Lifer
- Jul 12, 2006
- 110,629
- 29,286
- 146
that is glorious^
I was just thinking--I hope the Bastrop High School included the season of "Jade Helm 13" in their yearbook for the yearlong summary, complete with historical photos of senior prom king Tyler and his 2nd bride, Millie, guarding the front lines at Wal-Mart with their liberal-killing AR-15 assault rifles and Billie Beers.
Don't forget the moment when Larry the plumber immortalized the year by mounting a bronzed plaque at the Pic 'n Pak, reminding the children of the future of how the Bastrop Freedom Fighters Brigade worked tirelessly to keep the US of A government out of their sovereign land, this one historical spring of 2015.
I was just thinking--I hope the Bastrop High School included the season of "Jade Helm 13" in their yearbook for the yearlong summary, complete with historical photos of senior prom king Tyler and his 2nd bride, Millie, guarding the front lines at Wal-Mart with their liberal-killing AR-15 assault rifles and Billie Beers.
Don't forget the moment when Larry the plumber immortalized the year by mounting a bronzed plaque at the Pic 'n Pak, reminding the children of the future of how the Bastrop Freedom Fighters Brigade worked tirelessly to keep the US of A government out of their sovereign land, this one historical spring of 2015.
UNCjigga
Lifer
- Dec 12, 2000
- 24,825
- 9,049
- 136
Still think it isn’t a legitimate concern with the current President/Steward?
Has Texas vowed to liberate all the northern cities occupied by National Guard yet?
GodisanAtheist
Diamond Member
- Nov 16, 2006
- 6,884
- 7,278
- 136
dawp
Lifer
- Jul 2, 2005
- 11,345
- 2,705
- 136
just a war of right wing aggression. which happenens to be mostly in the south.
- Mar 20, 2000
- 102,416
- 8,357
- 126
TRENDING THREADS
-
Discussion Intel current and future Lakes & Rapids thread- Started by TheF34RChannel
- Replies: 23K
-
Discussion Zen 5 Speculation (EPYC Turin and Strix Point/Granite Ridge - Ryzen 9000)- Started by DisEnchantment
- Replies: 11K
-
Discussion Speculation: Zen 4 (EPYC 4 "Genoa", Ryzen 7000, etc.)- Started by Vattila
- Replies: 13K
-
Discussion Intel Meteor, Arrow, Lunar & Panther Lakes Discussion Threads
- Started by Tigerick
- Replies: 8K
-
Facebook
Twitter