I've been thinking of trying stand-up comdey

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,886
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Our local comedy club has open mike night once a week. I've got about 10 minutes of material that I've jotted down over the last few months, and it seems to go over well when I use it at functions. Anyone ever get up on stage? I'm not sure I could muster up the courage to try it, but it's one of those "I'll always regret it if I don't do it" things.

Man...the mid-life crisis is kicking in 3 years early for me :confused:
 

isasir

Diamond Member
Aug 8, 2000
8,611
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Does any of your material steal from topics you've read on ATOT? :)

"The other day my buddy came up to me and wanted to buy bulk beef..."
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,886
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Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Tell us a joke and we'll give you an honest opinion.

I do observational material. I don't want to post it as you can't really read jokes and get the same effect (half of the humor is in the delivery). I do have some lists I'm working on that might read OK, like:

I noticed a couple of ways to tell you haven't quite....how should we say...."arrived" yet:

- When you give people your address, you have to include your "lot" number
- If, when completed with a transaction, you are required to try to sell the customer a $20 set of wiper blades
- If, in order to accept money, you have to reach over a rack of Harley Davidson cigarette lighters and a box of Beechnut gum

etc etc... Work in progress.
 

KB

Diamond Member
Nov 8, 1999
5,397
384
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I got some material for you.


"Whats the deal with the black box. I mean its the only thing that survives a plane crash. Why not make the whole plane out of the black box."

I could never get up on stage and do this material though. I am way too scared. Maybe practice public speaking first.
 

montypythizzle

Diamond Member
Nov 12, 2006
3,699
0
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Originally posted by: isasir
Does any of your material steal from topics you've read on ATOT? :)

"The other day my buddy came up to me and wanted to buy bulk beef..."

:thumbsup:
OR go on for 5 hours telling them about .999999999 /= 0
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,459
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I say go for it! Even if you bomb you'll feel better about yourself for having done it.
 

Alistar7

Lifer
May 13, 2002
11,983
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Originally posted by: KB
I got some material for you.


"Whats the deal with the black box. I mean its the only thing that survives a plane crash. Why not make the whole plane out of the black box."

I could never get up on stage and do this material though. I am way too scared. Maybe practice public speaking first.


Hardly original which is what you need, otherwise he could just rip off other established comedians.

I say go for it, the greatest failure is not trying at all, and you will always be left to wonder.
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,886
2,126
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Originally posted by: desy
Your NOT funny! :p

I'm heckling BTW

You're right.

"EVERYONE LOOK AT THAT GUY'S FACE! Now THAT'S FUNNY!!!"

Never tick of the guy with the microphone. (That should be a Michael Richard's quote :) )
 

Slick5150

Diamond Member
Nov 10, 2001
8,760
3
81
I did open mic standup a few times in college just for fun. I enjoyed it. It is quite nerve wracking to get up there and do it, but you'll get quite a rush once its over.

Even if you suck and the audience hates it, at least you can say you did it.
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,886
2,126
126
Originally posted by: Alistar7
Originally posted by: KB
I got some material for you.


"Whats the deal with the black box. I mean its the only thing that survives a plane crash. Why not make the whole plane out of the black box."

I could never get up on stage and do this material though. I am way too scared. Maybe practice public speaking first.


Hardly original which is what you need, otherwise he could just rip off other established comedians.

I say go for it, the greatest failure is not trying at all, and you will always be left to wonder.

So I should scrap my "Airline Peanuts" bit?
 
Feb 24, 2001
14,550
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I wish I could get my dog to quit drinking out of the toilet.

It really tickles when I'm reading the paper.
 

MyThirdEye

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2005
3,614
0
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Go for it, if you're good at it, it could be fun, and you might be able to pick up some extra cash on the side.
 

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,713
12
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Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones
I wish I could get my dog to quit drinking out of the toilet.

It really tickles when I'm reading the paper.

:laugh:

did you make that up?
 

dainthomas

Lifer
Dec 7, 2004
14,592
3,425
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So a guy walks into a bar. And the other guys ducks.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.
 

anxi80

Lifer
Jul 7, 2002
12,295
2
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...and whats the deal with tying your shoes?!? they're just going to become untied again!!

i wish we had more comedians like gilbert gottfried though. the guy just goes up there and rattles off filthy setup/punchline jokes. the whole 'why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway'-shtick is beginning to wear a little thin on me. but i dont care if you go up there and belch the alphabet; just going up there is commendable.
 

Fritzo

Lifer
Jan 3, 2001
41,886
2,126
126
Originally posted by: anxi80
...and whats the deal with tying your shoes?!? they're just going to become untied again!!

i wish we had more comedians like gilbert gottfried though. the guy just goes up there and rattles off filthy setup/punchline jokes. the whole 'why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway'-shtick is beginning to wear a little thin on me. but i dont care if you go up there and belch the alphabet; just going up there is commendable.

CRAP!!! You saw my act! Now I have to come up with new material. Has lighting farts on stage been done before?
 

anxi80

Lifer
Jul 7, 2002
12,295
2
0
Originally posted by: Fritzo
Originally posted by: anxi80
...and whats the deal with tying your shoes?!? they're just going to become untied again!!

i wish we had more comedians like gilbert gottfried though. the guy just goes up there and rattles off filthy setup/punchline jokes. the whole 'why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway'-shtick is beginning to wear a little thin on me. but i dont care if you go up there and belch the alphabet; just going up there is commendable.
CRAP!!! You saw my act! Now I have to come up with new material. Has lighting farts on stage been done before?
actually, i think thats what sparked the incident at that great white show that burnt the club down. they should've never have given the stagehands chili, deviled eggs and steamed cauliflower in the dressing room...
 

SearchMaster

Diamond Member
Jun 6, 2002
7,792
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106
You could go the Andy Kaufman route and challenge a professional wrestler to a fight. Now THAT would be funnay!
 

Zedtom

Platinum Member
Nov 23, 2001
2,146
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Alan Alda has a new book out where he talks about the mechanics of comedy. Basically telling funny stories onstage is more entertaining than cracking jokes.

I have never been on stage, but at parties I have told jokes and had groups of people howling with laughter. Wow! What a rush.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,014
137
106
It comes down to this: if nobody laughs, and you get heckled the entire time, will that bother you? Will you take it personally?

If not, then do it. I've had people tell me to try it, but I know if I bombed I would have a tough time shrugging it off.
 
Feb 24, 2001
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Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: BrunoPuntzJones
I wish I could get my dog to quit drinking out of the toilet.

It really tickles when I'm reading the paper.

:laugh:

did you make that up?

Hehe wish I did. Was Emo Phillips.

I used to be afraid of pretty girls, until one told me they are just as scared of me.
 

CraKaJaX

Lifer
Dec 26, 2004
11,905
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Fritzo, you play guitar right? :p

You should make an act like the one that was posted on here a while about Pachelbel. --> http://youtube.com/watch?v=JdxkVQy7QLM
That's some funny stuff for being "clean" -- unless of course you are leaning towards the George Carlin way. :laugh: