It is NOT your PC.

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sharkeeper

Lifer
Jan 13, 2001
10,886
2
0
That's when you need a keyboard key heater. This is a device that diverts every last ampere hour of laptop battery power to heating elements within the keyboard keys. The keys heat to the point of incandescance [remember the doorknob on the original Home Alone?] causing the user's fingertips to become well done. Afterwards, they usually won't fsck with it! :D

Cheers!
 

flippinfleck

Golden Member
Oct 24, 2000
1,090
1
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I don't get paid for computer work, but I still have to "fix" everyone's computers. I get bombarded with computer related questions when I come into work. Sucks man, but I agree with Windogg completely. If it aint yours, don't try to make it better.
 

AncientPC

Golden Member
Jan 15, 2001
1,369
0
0
You know you're the computer geek when people come asking you for questions about random computer problems, even though you don't work as an IT tech.
 

CliffC

Member
Oct 24, 2000
174
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I work in IT and our biggest problem is the sh!t that people recieve in emails. This past winter it was "snowball fight" locking up all computers with "elf bowling" helping out.
After that 150+ PC lockup fiasco the "Policy" was written up and everyone had to sign it, so now it's these idiotic chain emails. The new "Policy" for email is about to go down and if you are caught sending or retaining any non-business relatd emails then you are in deep shiznit.

I get a call just this morning

Me: "Hello, PC support".

Idiot: "Hi. My monitor is smoking"!

Me: "I'll be right there".

I get there and start looking over the monitor and find that this idiot has spilled a cup of soup down in the monitor as she is trying to reach over the cubicle wall to get the abc worthless sh!t catalog from the idiot on the other side.

Boss' reply: Well just give her another one.

Jeez!
 

bigd480

Golden Member
Jul 7, 2000
1,580
0
0
Can you imagine how much bandwidth would be freed across the internet if "forward" crap like elf bowling and dumbass jokes were banned?

I think every ISP should fine people who send more than one a week... Repeat offenders would get banned for a month...

Of course AOL users like my parents would be up in arms...
 

sharkeeper

Lifer
Jan 13, 2001
10,886
2
0


<< Can you imagine how much bandwidth would be freed across the internet if &quot;forward&quot; crap like elf bowling and dumbass jokes were banned? >>



How about porn, get rich quick schemes, and just about any other thinkable theme you can come up with. Wanna see spam? Sign up for AOL. I used to have AOL and the spam is ridiculous. If I had $0.05 for every unsolicited email when I was an AOL member, I could've probably bought half of the damn company's stock!

Strangest email subject I remember getting on aol: &quot;Finger My Pooper!&quot;

Cheers!
 

AncientPC

Golden Member
Jan 15, 2001
1,369
0
0
Sharekeeper: LOL I think I've gotten that e-mail too.

Also, I don't think that all those forwarded jokes take up that much bandwith. It's nothing when you consider the extent of files being traded on IRC. Movies, games (PC &amp; console), warez, etc.
 

Aquaman

Lifer
Dec 17, 1999
25,054
13
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Windogg........... I've been waiting for you to voice another one of your work related rants :D I feel your pain. Although I'm not a techie (I'm an accountant) the computer 'techie guru' hat has fallen to my lap.

Cheers,
Aquaman
 

enginjon

Senior member
Mar 28, 2000
659
0
0
hahahahahaha This is great. This is exactly what I have been feeling at work the last few days. Requests for new screen savers and oops Webshots crashed my computer....oops.
 

Cheapster

Senior member
Dec 31, 2000
238
0
0
Great thread. Maybe some end users will think about it before adding software to their work pc, maybe even save a job or two. With this new beast I built, my next work pc will be clean.
 

Troll

Member
Jan 9, 2001
46
0
0
windogg why are you all still using cc:mail the last release did away with it in what R5 (that was the last release right??) with as simple migration tools along with a lot better tools

as for the techs a friend of mine was a tech and the best i ever heard and he swears this call was the truth

some old guy that had bought a computer from them called and ask for another coffee cup holder !!!!!!!!!!! and this threw all the techies there NO body had a clue !!! come to find out he had been using the cd as a mug holder!!!!!
 

Netopia

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
4,793
4
81
Windogg, I'm with you!

Here are the things I've done to get my company &quot;under controll&quot;.

First step was setting company policy on personal use of the internet and getting monitoring software and letting users know it was in place. All it took was a couple of embarrassing moments and people got the message.

Second was a memo from the president of the company stating that no employee shall forward ANY email attatchment that is not necessary for business... PERIOD. The first couple we caught we called on the carpet and that took care of that... ninty percent of the crap attatchments were INTRA-company.

Third, a memo (again, pushed through the President's office) saying that NO SOFTWARE, business or otherwise is to be loaded by anyone but the IT staff. To have software installed you must provide a written request (forms provided by us) as to the nature of the software and its business use. If it is not business related, they can send in a request and it will be reviewed... <<here's the kicker>>... if we allow them to have the non-business software, they sign a sheet saying that they understand that they are taking COMPLETE finacial liability for any/all damage done to the computer and/or operating system, to include the time and a half pay (only done on overtime) for a technician to troubleshoot and fix any problems and reimburse the company for any lost productivity hours due to the downtime of their individual workstation. Virtually NO ONE is willing to sign... so ultimatly, it is they who don't want the personal software installed on their workstation.

Finally... a very good hardware firewall/web blocker/SMTP packet sniffer. With this, we can lock down the internent so that most non-business related sites are automatically blocked, others can be added at will and ones that need to be open (Apple.com was listed as &quot;sports and leisure&quot;). This particular piece of equipment (WatchGuard Firewall II) also looks through email and attatchments. Things like the Annawhatshername.jpg.vbs are automatically stripped from email at the firewall and never even get a chance to be seen by antivirus software, but it can be set to strip whatever you want...so.... want to stop elfbowling... set it to strip it out!

Anyway... these things have helped me to reduce Help Desk stuff by about 30% and have reduced worktime websurfing by about 90%.

In answer to someone else's question, yes, I have all sorts of personal software on my machine... the President said that if it breaks, I fix it myself and since at any given time I've often got two or three machines which are my PERSONAL PROPERTY on site for testing stuff for the company, I've always got a backup machine to use &quot;just in case&quot; mine gets hosed. I've also got an admin password through the firewall, but as they say, rank has its priviledges!

Joe
 

tim0thy

Golden Member
Oct 23, 2000
1,936
0
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Windogg, I have a company laptop and I load whatever I want on it. :p My manager is pretty lax on that stuff. hahaha, but then I fix a lot of stuff here... does that make it acceptable? Probably not in your eyes though.
 

divinemartyr

Platinum Member
Oct 18, 2000
2,439
1
71
tim0thy

I think Windogg's main complaint is people screwing things up. If whatever you installed ever causes ANY problems, then yes he would have a problem with it. If he never knew about it, it wouldn't be an issue most likely.

dm
 

Demon-Xanth

Lifer
Feb 15, 2000
20,551
2
81
I agree with the fact that many people aren't willing to take responsibility for software they load. Also many are unwilling to run virus scanners and such. When my company went around and basically standardized all the computers mine was virtually untouched even though there was some non-standard applications with shortcuts on the desktop. But with only 1.3GB of disk usage on an 8GB HD I can't have a whole lot of non-standard stuff loaded can I? :)

Although MIS having loaded mIRC on my computer when I first got it still boggles me.
 

tim0thy

Golden Member
Oct 23, 2000
1,936
0
0


<< I think Windogg's main complaint is people screwing things up. If whatever you installed ever causes ANY problems, then yes he would have a problem with it. If he never knew about it, it wouldn't be an issue most likely. >>



then i can relate to that... because i have to fix that crap all the time. i just tell them it doesn't work and i love the way they say, &quot;... but, but, it used to work.&quot; i have to go to the restroom just to laugh sometimes.

i'm not your typical user :)
 

Demon-Xanth

Lifer
Feb 15, 2000
20,551
2
81
Only semi on topic, but what's worse:
A hardware guy with a command prompt
A software guy with a soldering iron

:)