• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Is there anyone out there married for longer than a year...

Page 2 - Seeking answers? Join the AnandTech community: where nearly half-a-million members share solutions and discuss the latest tech.
Like someone mentioned before: Lust quickly fades and what you have left over is someone who you either care for or have no other feelings for. The problem is that today we ahve a very short courtship, meaning that people fall madly in "love" (read "lust") and really don't get to know each other before they make either lawful or biological commitments. Our parents and those before them had long drawn-out courtships where dating lasted more than a couple months and people really got to knwo each other and (which is kind of important) each other's families. Thus long-term incompatibilites were weeded out for the most part. Now people are moving from one person to another quite quickly, and when the time comes to choose a partner (due to biological clock for women or men startring to edge to 30) in matrimony the couples usually don't know each other very well, and thats a recipie for divorce.
 
I've been married almost 10 years now and I haven't worn my wedding ring since about 6 months after the wedding. I realized I couldn't stand having a ring on, it just constantly annoyed me. I don't like having any jewelry on at all. Over the years several people have questioned me about it, but I really don't see anything wrong with not wearing it.[/quote]

:beer:
 
Married for 8 years, been together for 15. We have a 3-year-old and another on the way. I'm exhausted, I have no social life and no time for one, my career is at a dead standstill, but I am happy with my marriage and family.
 
Originally posted by: Slappy00
Like someone mentioned before: Lust quickly fades and what you have left over is someone who you either care for or have no other feelings for. The problem is that today we ahve a very short courtship, meaning that people fall madly in "love" (read "lust") and really don't get to know each other before they make either lawful or biological commitments. Our parents and those before them had long drawn-out courtships where dating lasted more than a couple months and people really got to knwo each other and (which is kind of important) each other's families. Thus long-term incompatibilites were weeded out for the most part. Now people are moving from one person to another quite quickly, and when the time comes to choose a partner (due to biological clock for women or men startring to edge to 30) in matrimony the couples usually don't know each other very well, and thats a recipie for divorce.
Click to expand...

I disagree on almost every point. People still court for years. ANd decades ago people got married after a short time as well jsut like ttoday. Also today's technologies allow people to connect and interact and 'Know' each other much much faster than back when.
 
Im 33. Married 6 years. I have a one year old son. I am extremely happy.

It CAN work out. You just have to work at it.

--G
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
In my experience, the length of a marriage is almost inversely proportional to the cost of getting married.

Meaning...the people that I've seen dump $50,00+ on a wedding had the shortest, most miserable marriage I've seen. The ones that spent a fraction of that and did it in their back yard or in some other modest setting end up staying married much longer and have at least on the surface, a better relationship.
Click to expand...
Hear, Hear!

Married 9 years, together 12 now. We love each other much differently than when we first got married- because now we really know each other a lot better- but we love each other at least as much now as we did then.

(edit) and about rings- I never wore one before the wedding but I only take it off to do heavy lifting or if I have to dig in an engine. And then, I have her put it back on afterwards 😎
 
52 1/2, married for thiirty-onederful (31) years today...Not always a "bed of roses", but if I had it to do over again, I'd still marry her...(her dad had a BIG shotgun 😉 )
 
Originally posted by: Biggerhammer
Originally posted by: vi_edit
In my experience, the length of a marriage is almost inversely proportional to the cost of getting married.

Meaning...the people that I've seen dump $50,00+ on a wedding had the shortest, most miserable marriage I've seen. The ones that spent a fraction of that and did it in their back yard or in some other modest setting end up staying married much longer and have at least on the surface, a better relationship.
Click to expand...
Hear, Hear!

Married 9 years, together 12 now. We love each other much differently than when we first got married- because now we really know each other a lot better- but we love each other at least as much now as we did then.

(edit) and about rings- I never wore one before the wedding but I only take it off to do heavy lifting or if I have to dig in an engine. And then, I have her put it back on afterwards 😎
Click to expand...


::melts::

 
Originally posted by: Queasy
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Meaning...the people that I've seen dump $50,00+ on a wedding had the shortest, most miserable marriage I've seen. The ones that spent a fraction of that and did it in their back yard or in some other modest setting end up staying married much longer and have at least on the surface, a better relationship.
Click to expand...
Heh...there is some truth to that. Our neighbors dropped a pants load of money on their wedding and divorced soon after. Crazy story where the husband was cheating with another married woman. The wife got him back by sleeping with the other woman's husband.

We had a fairly simple church wedding. I think our honeymoon cost more than the wedding.
Click to expand...
Yep. Older sister - $20k+ wedding, fancy hotel, limos, huge guest list, divorced in 3 years. Us - $3K wedding on beautiful spring day in parent's garden, mariachis provided music, low key and fun, still going strong after 8 years.

 
I'm going on 2 years of marriage and like life, there are the up times and the down times, but to me that is what makes a marriage strong. If everything was good all the time, it might become complacent. Thus, if it were not for the down times, I would not cherish the up times as much.
 
I've been married for 14 years and I never wear my wedding ring. Not to hit on women though. It has a crack in it and scrapes my finger, besides I generally hate wearing jewelry of any kind.

I am pretty happy with my marriage though.
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
In my experience, the length of a marriage is almost inversely proportional to the cost of getting married.

Meaning...the people that I've seen dump $50,00+ on a wedding had the shortest, most miserable marriage I've seen. The ones that spent a fraction of that and did it in their back yard or in some other modest setting end up staying married much longer and have at least on the surface, a better relationship.

Basically, a lot of people put more more emphasis on the actual event of getting married than the reason behind.

*shrug*

I've been married to my wife for over 3 years and I'm more in love with her now than I was when we first got married.
Click to expand...



yeap. out of all my friends/family we have spent the 2nd least. we spent maybe $5k on it. one buddy of mine spent $200 (went to justice of the peace). both of us have been married 5+ years (us 8 and him 5).

where a friend of ours spent like $40k on the wedding and got a divorce 2 years latter (the just got re-married last summer).

But same has happened with others we know.


as for the ring. i do not wear mine at all. in fact my wife wears it more then i do. she works in factory now (used to teach 7th grade) and does not want the bulky ring at work. since i do not wear mine much she took it.

but then i also do not wear any jewlery. not even a watch.
 
I got married...3, 4 years ago. We got married because the ole lady was knocked up. I didnt really like her. When we got back home, I pretty much hated her. It was "Ho-hum, this sucks" type of thing.

But as time went on, I fell more and more in love with her.

Now? Love her more then anything. I wouldnt trade her for the world, and I'd take on the world for her.
 
I have been married for one year and a few weeks... (however, we have been together for 6 years)
I truly love my husband with all my heart, more than i ever thought i could love another human being...
Our marriage is something we work at every day. We have arguements... some small, some with a LOT of yelling, however, after we cool down, we go back to being happy together.
anyways, we are both very young, but we have learned to accept the other person and love everything about them!
 
Originally posted by: iroast
A ring won't stop a cheater, or a really flirty person.
Click to expand...


Nope, as my father-in-law used to say, a ring doesn't fill the hole, and a hard-on has no conscience...
 
I'm 42, married 18 years this October. I'm still happy as a pig in... wait, maybe that's not a good analogy.😛
 
With my first wife I was pretty miserable within a year. That's how it goes when you marry the wrong person. You find out quickly.

Been married to my second wife now for just over a year. I'm more happy and more in love with her every day. That's how it goes when you marry the right person.


As far as wanting other women, that's just a bonus I have now. If my wife agrees that a woman is hot, sometimes we bring her home with us. I never have to worry about that "last woman I'll ever be with" syndrome. 😎
 
What do those that have been married for a long time, and are happy married say is their "secret" to success?
 
Originally posted by: DP
i wonder that myself. the odds a definitely against me...

my parents have been married for over 25 years. my moms parents were married for 54 years. maybe it runs in the family, hoepfully.
Click to expand...

wish it ran in mine...
🙁
 
24, married 2 years... everything is great.. I don't wear rings though : ). People who rush to have children or spend every waking hour and cent on planning the wedding day often aren't in it for the right reasons.
 
Ever think that they may not want to get their wedding band/ring dirty during a meal, or when washing their hands, so they took it off?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top