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Is it wrong..

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Originally posted by: spidey07
universal truth:

"if she did it to him, she'll do it to you"

Meaning if you "steal" somebody's girl she will eventually be "stolen" from you.

Yes its wrong and dispicable if you pursue a woman in a committed relationship. But if they're just casually dating then is acceptible.
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I knew you would show up over here:beer:
 
Originally posted by: Fingolfin269
Originally posted by: Ynog
Well this all depends.

John and Peter are friends - no brainer NO.

However if they aren't friends. Peter is going to be pissed, and John might want to watch out.
Ring or not, a relationship is a relationship.

Second problem, if Mary is in a relationship and is willing to stray, then whats to say she won't
find someone better than John down the road and John will then be in Peters position (probably bitching
about how someone is trying to steal his girlfriend).
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Jesus Christ people. Isn't the point of DATING to find 'someone better down the road'? If you don't find someone better or find yourself not bothering to look then that means you're more than likely with the right person.

I'm starting to wonder if people on these forums know what 'dating' is an what 'dating' is not.
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True, my first reaction was a situation of exclusive dating. But your right, If your dealing with
two people who are casually dating then, its fair game. I guess the problem here is are we talking about
two people who are causally dating or are they in a serious relationship.

Now its true that if Mary and Peter are in a serious relationship then John stands no chance, but I think
that if John knows that Peter and Mary are in a serious relationshpi then he shouldn't be trying to make
a move on Mary. Then John's just a sleeze ball.

I think that once you are in a situation where two people are no longer casually dating but are
exclusively dating in a serious relationship, then its not fair game to make a move.
I mean IMHO you shouldn't be forced to get engaged to stop guys from hounding your girlfirend.
Seriously if after going out for one year, what would you think if every night some guy asks your
girlfriend out.
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
The point of "she did it to him, she'll probably do it to you." is not legit.
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Bullsh|t. The best indicator of a person's potential actions is their past actions. And most people don't change. You can force them into a new mold for awhile, but a spade is spade.
 
I actively went after a girl who I knew was dating someone at the time. The person she was dating was an old childhood friend of mine who I had not seen for many years. I figured I was giving the chica an option, and that she could make up her own mind. Given the choice of me or the other guy, the girl eventually chose me...






...then married me five years later. I've never felt any guilt over the situation. It was her choice, and the other guy just had to live with it. One way of looking at it is that he didn't play to win, whereas I brought my "A" game.



EDIT: Just to be clear, there was no "cheating" ever going on. The other guy knew from the start that I was in the picture, but didn't do anything to keep her.
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
Originally posted by: spidey07
universal truth:

"if she did it to him, she'll do it to you"

Meaning if you "steal" somebody's girl she will eventually be "stolen" from you.

Yes its wrong and dispicable if you pursue a woman in a committed relationship. But if they're just casually dating then is acceptible.
Click to expand...

I knew you would show up over here:beer:
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yeah, I've got issues.

but I'm still getting laid everyday so it ain't all bad.
:beer:
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
Originally posted by: Tomato
Originally posted by: Kwan1
what does kicking johns ass have to do with this. It is not johns fault for getting what he wants, it is peters fault for not be the best "option"

to tomato,
If you don't try and get what you want, you will never get it.

Of course marriage draws the line, this is all during the dating and relationship period.
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Sure, but you're not entitled to get what you want. Hell, I want a private yacht, but I'm sure not entitled to it. I'm going to work hard and try to get one, but I'm not entitled to it.
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I never said i was entitiled to get what i want, i am saying that it is not wrong to pursue something that you do want.
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Uh, no.

Originally posted by: Kwan1
because people are entitled to get what they want.
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It is up to MARY to decide if she wants John to back off. If Mary is happy where she is, then she will do that. But if Mary feels that she could be happier, then she will not.

I'll answer this question again. If someone makes a move on my g/f it is up to my g/f to tell them off.
if she doesn't, i won't be very happy but it is her choice and i will not go after the guy. Now if a guy date raped her, then thats a different story.
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
Originally posted by: Kwan1
Originally posted by: spidey07
universal truth:

"if she did it to him, she'll do it to you"

Meaning if you "steal" somebody's girl she will eventually be "stolen" from you.

Yes its wrong and dispicable if you pursue a woman in a committed relationship. But if they're just casually dating then is acceptible.
Click to expand...

I knew you would show up over here:beer:
Click to expand...

yeah, I've got issues.

but I'm still getting laid everyday so it ain't all bad.
:beer:
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I've got issues and gettin laid is not one of them
:beer:
 
Hell, I wouldn't want people asking my girlfriend out either, be it gf of 6 months or 2 years. However, these things happen. It's up to her to say no and not up to me to have a philisophical discussion about it with my friends.

Seriously, what would you rather have happen? No guys bother your girlfriend and you don't find out that things just aren't that great between you until after you get married? Or would you rather someone ask her out and learn her true intentions if she says yes?

If you're in a strong relationship it won't matter how many people ask your gf/bf out because you already know that it's not even a problem. It's more of something to joke about with each other and to feel proud that you're with someone who attracts other people.
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
I had a few discussion lately about this on another forum, so lets see what the people of atot thinks.

In general.

Let
Mary = a female
Peter = Mary's b/f
John = A guy interested in Mary.

John wants to date Mary, Mary is dating Peter.

Is it wrong of John to make a move? I am not talking about date rape. I am talking about openly asking Mary to go on dates.

Some people think that it is disrespectful and rude to pursue a woman that has a b/f.

Or is that the whole point of dating? To get what the best available option for oneself? Should Mary limit her opportunities because she has a b/f.

Flame on.
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Arent you at work?
 
Put yourselfs in Mary's shoe for one minute.
You have a choice to make.

It is not John's fault for being interested is it?
Hes not pushing you to do anything, not even making any moves physically.
Just openly asking you to go on a few dates. Does that make him a sleezeball?

IS he wrong for asking you out? YOu are not wearing an wedding band or an engagement ring.
 
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
Originally posted by: Kwan1
I had a few discussion lately about this on another forum, so lets see what the people of atot thinks.

In general.

Let
Mary = a female
Peter = Mary's b/f
John = A guy interested in Mary.

John wants to date Mary, Mary is dating Peter.

Is it wrong of John to make a move? I am not talking about date rape. I am talking about openly asking Mary to go on dates.

Some people think that it is disrespectful and rude to pursue a woman that has a b/f.

Or is that the whole point of dating? To get what the best available option for oneself? Should Mary limit her opportunities because she has a b/f.

Flame on.
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Arent you at work?
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yes i am. a little downtime

:beer:
 
Originally posted by: Fingolfin269
Hell, I wouldn't want people asking my girlfriend out either, be it gf of 6 months or 2 years. However, these things happen. It's up to her to say no and not up to me to have a philisophical discussion about it with my friends.

Seriously, what would you rather have happen? No guys bother your girlfriend and you don't find out that things just aren't that great between you until after you get married? Or would you rather someone ask her out and learn her true intentions if she says yes?

If you're in a strong relationship it won't matter how many people ask your gf/bf out because you already know that it's not even a problem. It's more of something to joke about with each other and to feel proud that you're with someone who attracts other people.
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Strong relationships are made by strong people. Your example assumes at least one party is so weak they would be willing to enter a marriage with a person they aren't happy with unless some knight in shining armor figure came along to save her.

If that was the state of the relationship, then it was fvcked to begin with.

Of course most of this discussion is a moot point since if your girlfriend is into you, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

On the other hand, who wants some other dude, sitting on the side lines, chipping away at your relationship whenever a disagreement arises "He's so unreasonable, I'd never do that. What as ass...you know what I heard..." blah, blah, blah.
 
On the other hand, who wants some other dude, sitting on the side lines, chipping away at your relationship whenever a disagreement arises "He's so unreasonable, I'd never do that. What as ass...you know what I heard..." blah, blah, blah.
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It its your responsibilty to keep your SO happy, if you can't you have no one to blame for your incompetence.
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
On the other hand, who wants some other dude, sitting on the side lines, chipping away at your relationship whenever a disagreement arises "He's so unreasonable, I'd never do that. What as ass...you know what I heard..." blah, blah, blah.
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It its your responsibilty to keep your SO happy, if you can't you have no one to blame for your incompetence.
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Kwan1 has a point. If you cant keep your SO happy, it is in the best intentions for that person to find someone better.
 
Originally posted by: Kwan1
On the other hand, who wants some other dude, sitting on the side lines, chipping away at your relationship whenever a disagreement arises "He's so unreasonable, I'd never do that. What as ass...you know what I heard..." blah, blah, blah.
Click to expand...

It its your responsibilty to keep your SO happy, if you can't you have no one to blame for your incompetence.
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Well thats all well in good. But you cannot keep your SO happy all the time. Show me a couple that has never
had a single fight. And I'll be honest, I have been in both situations (actually three sides, guy on the side lines, the bf
and the person in the middle), and its easy to poison someones thoughts when they are angry. Your not the most
rational person at that time.
 
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