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Is it okay to spank your child?

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Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
Originally posted by: BAMAVOO
Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.
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Yes and the lack of spanking is eleventybillion+1 times worse.
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Not if you use alternate methods. Research before you spew.
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I have seen the method where parents let the kids smack them in the face while the parent softly croons "no darling thats not nice". Thats BS

I see parents try to reason with toddlers all the time. They are not rational at that age, give it up. Hell, the language capacity is not even there yet.

spanking as a last resort or as punishment for actions that endanger said child.

example ( walking into streets repeatedly)
 
If you *must*, a spanking should only be done in a controlled manner. I can't stand seeing a parent just whack a kid quickly out of frustration.

It has to be an event for the child, and NOT just a way for the parent to have a release.

EDIT: Also, my cousin (much younger than I am) used to run around the room screaming, "MURDER! MURDER!" when his mom threatened to spank him. Absolutely one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
 
Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
Gershoff, E.T. (2002). Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors and experiences: A meta-analystic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 539-579.

Straus, M.A. (2001). Beating the devil out of them: Corporal punishment in American families and its effects on children (2nd ed.) New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction.
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Google didn't give me any direct links to the studies, but references to them seemed to show research groups comprised of mothers who spanked their children in EXCESS OF 3 DAYS PER WEEK (3.6d/w in one reference). That's almost every other day. That is NOT a proper study. Any research that focuses purely on comparing high rates of spanking with complete non-use is probably funded by people strongly opposed to spanking.

It's effective when used minimally, and while MAYBE it's going far to say minimal is better than none, it's almost impossible to suggest that the opposite is universally true.

I refuse to accept any study who's research group "spanks" their children EVERY OTHER DAY. That sounds more like abuse to me. Show me trends along varying levels of corporal punishment use. Show me everything inbetween what these obviously biased studies show.

Like I said.... will I spank my children? I'd rather not, but there may come a time when it's necessary. That said, arguing that spanking is universally ineffective is complete ignorance.
 
Originally posted by: Tiamat
it worked for my parents, but I would limit it myself to only the worst infractions. Punching a child is definately wrong though.
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I think thats what people confuse with spanking. I mean, I have a friend, his dad raised him and his little bro with no corporal punishment, and he's certainly much more polite than other people (these are the guys who had no corporal punishment, or not much anyway). So its rather an odd situation.
Keep in mind his dad is a conservative bussinessman with common sense and morals, so I think he managed to get the point across in other ways.
However, he's rather rambuntchus at times and somewhat obnoxious to his dad, so theres the downside.
Its all about respect. The moment children lose respect is the day we go down the drain. These children have no respect for anything, anydbody, least what I've observed.
My school is made up of variety of people.
I like the Mexican approach: They beat the ****** out of their kids, and they are polite and good natured. Even the girls, who are polite as ever. And they have common sense.
From what I've seen as well, Religious people at my school are divided into two types. The liberals and the conservatives.
Relgiious liberals think the world of themselves and talk about themselves and how they're this and that.
Conservative Religious people are polite and mild and keep it to themselves.

Myself, I would refrain from any type of corporal punishment other than "slapping" (not in the perverted sense, fools!) the buttocks of my child. And it would strat at age 5 and end at age 8.
Before that I would be in the mood to give out "pattys" which is basically a light spanking on the buttocks and very low-key. After that I would refrain from punishing my children other than grounding them (I don't believe in that except for the most serious cases) or confiscating certain devices.
Myself, I was slapped across the face once for being a disrespectful idiot, but it stung, I still haven't really recovered from it yet, so I'm not in favor of that.
To be honest, I'd just leave it to my wife, except for the most serious circumstances. because children seem to naturally love their mothers more than their fathers, so it'd neutralized. 😛
But yeah, thats my rant on it all
 
Spanking is fine, and an effective training tool.

As for the 'studies' that claim spanking is ineffective, the human race has been doing it for thousands of years and we see to be doing alright.
 
I was spanked and I think it's perfectly fine. If I have children and one of them had a snotty attitude, or treated me with disrespect, then yes. I would spank them. I know kids who were never spanked when they were young, and they are fricken snots.
 
Sure, but you have to make spankings few and far between or they won't be effective. If the kids stops fearing your worst punishment then things will only spiral downward from there. Being imaginative with your positive reinforcement and punishments rather than resorting to the good ol' pop in the rear is best I think.
 
Of course it's not OK. It's simply not acceptabel in the 21st Century. Depending on the severity of it I'd group it along with child abuse, but unfortunately is not recognized by many as a crime.
 
Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
Originally posted by: FoBoT
the poll should have included who has kids

i wouldn't be surprised if some of the most opinionated people on this subject have no children
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I have a 2 1/2 year old. Will never spank him.
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What is your alternative suggestion for rule enforcement when rationally sitting them down and explaining the situation fails?
 
Originally posted by: chambersc
Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
Originally posted by: FoBoT
the poll should have included who has kids

i wouldn't be surprised if some of the most opinionated people on this subject have no children
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I have a 2 1/2 year old. Will never spank him.
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What is your alternative suggestion for rule enforcement when rationally sitting them down and explaining the situation fails?
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Locking them in a closet for a couple of days would probably work. You'd still be able to maintain your status as a non-corporal punisher after all...
 
I cannot see myself spanking my son; he's too sensitive. However, because he's so sensitive, he responds extremely well to verbal direction and "soft" punishment such as timeouts, restriction of privileges, etc. My daughter, on the other hand, is just the opposite. She could give a sh|t if you plant her in the corner or take away dessert. I have had to spank her once. I did not spank her out of anger and I made sure she understand what was happening before, during, and after so she could learn from the experience.

I'm not a doctor, but the general idea is to establish an escalation process and make sure that your child - regardless of what they respond to individually - clearly understands the risk/reward in the decisions they make.

The people that make blanket statements for or against spanking make me nervous. "I will/won't spank my child". An even scarier statement is "When I have kids, I will/won't spank my child." How the hell do you know? You haven't even met your child?! You have no fscking clue what they'll respond to.

Some kids would be emotionally scarred for life if they're spanked, and others would grow up to be narcissistic assholes they're not. Failing to recognize each child's individuality - especially in the realm of discipline - is just as ignorant as racism.
 
My parents got spanked, I got spanked and my kids will get spanked. I cant let the tradition die can I?
 
Originally posted by: Ricemarine
Not in public areas.
Private you have full authority.
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Why not? Embarrassment is one of the best teachers, right next to pain and privileges taken away.
 
Originally posted by: chairbornrangerx
I'd spank my kids, but you could try other punishment, like make them mow the yard with scissors lol
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When I was growing up, my neighbors were punished by having to sweep the street with a push broom. I would tease them by going out in my front yard, starting up the gas blower and blowing off my driveway into the road. 😀
 
I was spanked (although only a few times, I was pretty well behaved as a result 🙂 )

I don't believe it has affected me adversely, and should the need arise when I have kids, I will spank them aswell.

I'm also of the mind that you can find a study or 6 to back up anything.
 
Originally posted by: chairbornrangerx
I'd spank my kids, but you could try other punishment, like make them mow the yard with scissors lol
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When my son gets older and is physically capable of manual labor, this will likely be the primary method of discipline because I can already tell that he will respond well to it. He respects authority and is eager to please. The result is that you can tell him that he has to eat a bowl of ice cream as punishment for doing XYZ, and he will not do XYZ again. My guess is he'll have to mow the yard once (though I don't think I'll force him to use scissors 😉 ).

My daughter, on the other hand, is going to be... shall we say... challenging. Honestly, she reminds me a lot of myself.
 
I got some spankings as a kid. I even got the belt a few times. I'm no worse for the wear.

LOL, my mom kept a whiffle bat in the car so she could smack us if we acted up. It was a huge Ford LTD wagon, and she couldn't reach us in the back seat, so she'd just grab that yellow bat and take a swing or two. In retrospect, it was kinda funny.

As for me and my daughter, she's 7 and I've never spanked her. I've never had a need to. She's a sensitive kid, and even a stern talking to can upset her, so spanking would be way overboard. She's the sweetest, most polite kid I know, so I'm lucky that way.

I don't know what I'd do if I had one of those hyperactive kids you see running around in the store, swinging off everything and being a general nuisance. Those kids, I want to spank them and they're not even mine. Maybe the parents should be beaten instead.


Edit: I agree fully with jbourne77, it depends 100% on the child.
 
I believe there are more effective ways to punish your kids than corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is often effective at stopping the unwanted behavior of the child, but such punishment is known to have side effects in the future. I believe there are better, less violent solutions.
 
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