Is it okay to spank your child?

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

total psychobabble bullsh*t.

I'm a firm believer in psychologists knowing more about human behavior than the layman who claims "psychobabble bullsh*t."

I'm a firm believer in knowing more about my child than anyone else. I'm also able to recognize that not all children are the same. Spanking could be considered fine for one child and child abuse for the next. It depends. Blanket rules are shortsighted.

 

[Aharami]

yes. but as a last resort

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: BAMAVOO

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

Yes and the lack of spanking is eleventybillion+1 times worse.

Not if you use alternate methods. Research before you spew.

Look at the kids nowadays. They are all childish and have no concept of reality. They have "self-esteem" (but the self esteem doesn't need any merit or hard work to gain). They have a grossly overestimated "sense of entitlement" (they are spoiled kids who feel that the world owes them a favor). They grow up knowing no idea of personal responsibility (they don't have any strong consequences for their actions as kids, so they don't feel the need to be responsible later on).

Most of the kids that I know that have had spankings instituted as a punishment have turned out better off as human being than the ones that have not. The ones that have not tend to be spoiled rotten.

There is definitely a wrong way to institute spanking as a punishment, and it is very easy to do it wrong, but done in the right way, it will teach your kids very effectively.

 

[CollectiveUnconscious]

Originally posted by: jbourne77
I'm a firm believer in knowing more about my child than anyone else. I'm also able to recognize that not all children are the same. Spanking could be considered fine for one child and child abuse for the next. It depends. Blanket rules are shortsighted.

I would hope that you would. However, we are all the same species, and our basic behaviors are the same. The level of detriment may be variable, but spanking is detrimental nonetheless.

 

[OrganizedChaos]

you can't hit the kid hard enough to get the point across these days.

there a NO effective punishments for kids these days and as soon as your kid figures this out your fvcked.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: jbourne77
I'm a firm believer in knowing more about my child than anyone else. I'm also able to recognize that not all children are the same. Spanking could be considered fine for one child and child abuse for the next. It depends. Blanket rules are shortsighted.

I would hope that you would. However, we are all the same species, and our basic behaviors are the same. The level of detriment may be variable, but spanking is detrimental nonetheless.

And yet, you see so many people here talking about how they were spanked, and are glad of it, and are presumably not any worse off for it.

 

[rise]

Originally posted by: GoPackGo
Little kids under 4 or 5 may need to have their fingers slapped as to warn them about something they shouldn't play with.

Normal spanking shouldnt occur until about 4 or 5.

Punching or hitting anywhere or spanking anywhere but the butt shouldnt be done.

Not until they are a smart mouthed teenager then anything goes.

:thumbsup:

i had to spank my son twice and he learned quickly from it. both were around age 3 and then a talk after about why i had to do it and you could see it sinking in.

and of course, it was only over the bum, open fist and really not that hard. not as hard as my Dad hit me anyway

 

[CollectiveUnconscious]

Originally posted by: DaShen
Look at the kids nowadays. They are all childish and have no concept of reality. They have "self-esteem" (but the self esteem doesn't need any merit or hard work to gain). They have a grossly overestimated "sense of entitlement" (they are spoiled kids who feel that the world owes them a favor). They grow up knowing no idea of personal responsibility (they don't have any strong consequences for their actions as kids, so they don't feel the need to be responsible later on).

Most of the kids that I know that have had spankings instituted as a punishment have turned out better off as human being than the ones that have not. The ones that have not tend to be spoiled rotten.

There is definitely a wrong way to institute spanking as a punishment, and it is very easy to do it wrong, but done in the right way, it will teach your kids very effectively.

Anecdotal. My turn. I know plenty of kids nowadays who are respectful, dutiful, punctual, and have a strong sense of personal responsibility. Their parents are strong anti-spanking advocates, and would often turn to extinction of behavior instead of spanking. Most of the kids I know that have had spanking instituted as a punishment have turned out antisocial and violent. The ones that have not tend to be better acclimated to social situations.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: jmebonner
Voted yes. Had to give my little girl a spanking today
The anti-spankers act like we do it because we enjoy it. It almost made me cry, lol. Poor thing, but she just wasn't getting the picture.

It helped


We always talk about it before and after, there's a defined set of rules that warrants a spanking. I always talk about what she did, she tells me what she did wrong. I say, "Well, what's that mean?"

"I get a spanking daddy" <----That's the hard part.

Yeah, most parents spanking your kids will be very tough to do. It is when they start to take it out on you just because they have a crappy day that it gets abusive.

 

[DaShen]

BTW. Anyone who says that they will never spank their kids is totally off IMO. You will realize that every kid responds to stimulus in different ways and that you will have to learn how to teach each kid you have in different ways (Spanking is just one of the options).

 

[randay]

I say just punch em in the nuts or the ovaries, thatll straighten those rotten kids right up.

 

[FoBoT]

the poll should have included who has kids

i wouldn't be surprised if some of the most opinionated people on this subject have no children

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Kwaipie
I personally don't believe spanking is an effective punishment. What are your thoughts?

a swat on the butt got me to straighten up pdq.

i see nothing wrong with a swat on the butt to prove you mean business. anything that leaves a mark though is too much.

 

[Kirby]

I'm glad my parents beat me when I deserved it, that way I wouldn't turn out like JLGatsby.

 

[DaShen]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
the poll should have included who has kids

i wouldn't be surprised if some of the most opinionated people on this subject have no children

No children yet.

I am opinionated, but I also counseled kids when I was younger and that was a huge learning experience. I also had to grow up much quicker than my counterparts when I was in my teens which I regret because I missed out on a childhood mostly. It made me a better person overall though.

 

[j00fek]

Originally posted by: Sid59
in the butt . open hand slap.

anywhere else, it's too much, IMO.

:thumbsup:

 

[CollectiveUnconscious]

Originally posted by: FoBoT
the poll should have included who has kids

i wouldn't be surprised if some of the most opinionated people on this subject have no children

I have a 2 1/2 year old. Will never spank him.

 

[merlocka]

Closed fist punch: no.

Really? Shoot. Oh well, never to late to make a change.

 

[SuepaFly]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

Um, I believe most studies done on spanking are flawed because they typically only compare high rates of spanking versus no spanking at all. Obviously spanking your children every/every other day of their young life is going to have detrimental effects. However, studies that compared no use of corporal punishment with low and high (1-30ish times a year vs 120+ times a year) show that children who receive minimal corporal punishment do better than those who receive none or excessive amounts.

Spanking is only effective when it is employed rarely and always immediately after the child has done something wrong. Excessive use or excessive threats of corporal punishment only encourage bad behavior. The best thing to do is reserve spanking for SERIOUS infractions and use mild warnings/punishments to deter poor behavior in general (social psychological studies show that the significant threats are less effective than minor threats, ie: tell a child you'll be unhappy if he does something versus threating to spank a child if he does something).

That said, I don't know if I'll spank my children. My mother was the only one to spank me, and it was RARE... only if I really fvcked up. My dad never laid a hand on me, except once I think, and I sure as hell deserved it.

When I was a kid, my dad had a very hot tempter, and he would always spank me. I'd definitely understand what I did wrong I don't wish that I were never spanked, it's not like he used a belt to put marks on me. I think the only thing I will change for my kids is that I won't use it as a "I'm pissed off at you" sort of punishment, rather a "That was unaccetable. Do not ever do this again." And spankings can't be delivered in anger, or else ids just fear the anger.

 

[Whisper]

I would say that, in some situations, spanking can be an appropriate punishment. It's definitely not suitable for all transgressions, though.

 

[IEC]

Spanking can be an effective tool if used sparingly. Don't overdo it.

There is a much better way to discipline your kids, and that's by rewarding them for behaving/doing the right thing/etc. Rewards and goal-setting are much more effective - and positive.

(Positive reinforcement VS negative reinforcement)

 

[Whisper]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: DaShen
Look at the kids nowadays. They are all childish and have no concept of reality. They have "self-esteem" (but the self esteem doesn't need any merit or hard work to gain). They have a grossly overestimated "sense of entitlement" (they are spoiled kids who feel that the world owes them a favor). They grow up knowing no idea of personal responsibility (they don't have any strong consequences for their actions as kids, so they don't feel the need to be responsible later on).

Most of the kids that I know that have had spankings instituted as a punishment have turned out better off as human being than the ones that have not. The ones that have not tend to be spoiled rotten.

There is definitely a wrong way to institute spanking as a punishment, and it is very easy to do it wrong, but done in the right way, it will teach your kids very effectively.

Anecdotal. My turn. I know plenty of kids nowadays who are respectful, dutiful, punctual, and have a strong sense of personal responsibility. Their parents are strong anti-spanking advocates, and would often turn to extinction of behavior instead of spanking. Most of the kids I know that have had spanking instituted as a punishment have turned out antisocial and violent. The ones that have not tend to be better acclimated to social situations.

Spanking can go either way. I've met professors who advocate it, although only in the most serious of situations. If instituted correctly, just as with any other system of consequences, it can be effective. The key is in its effective and correct use.

As far as antisocial behavior goes, it's generally tied to inconsistent and extreme discipline and parenting. Spanking is simply one of many possible contributors to such an outcome.

 

[Whisper]

Originally posted by: ariafrost
Spanking can be an effective tool if used sparingly. Don't overdo it.

There is a much better way to discipline your kids, and that's by rewarding them for behaving/doing the right thing/etc. Rewards and goal-setting are much more effective - and positive.

(Positive reinforcement VS negative reinforcement)

You might've had this idea in mind when making your statement, but if in comparing positive to negative reinforcement you meant to compare positive reinforcement to punishment, the statement is a bit off.

Negative reinforcement is the reinforcement of a behavior via removal of aversive stimuli.

Though as I've said, if that's what you meant, just ignore this post.

Edit: I should also add in that for the most part, only offering rewards generally doesn't seem to work with most children (that I know of, anyway). Some type of punishment is usually needed, it's just a matter of deciding on the punishment desired.

 

[sandorski]

Another vote for: As a Last Resort

If spankings are occuring regularly, either it's not working or you are resorting to it too quickly. Save it for special occassions.

 

[Marinski]

Nowadays you can't even yell at your kid without it being considered verbal abuse.