Is it okay to spank your child?

[oddyager]

Originally posted by: Dacalo
I lived my first 9 years in Korea, and I used to get physical punishments from my mom. She would hit me on the calves or hands with a stick. Mind you, this is the norm there. We all grew up normal, and quite successful. I know hitting kids here is a taboo but I honestly don't see how little spanking here and there can be detrimental. So OP, I disagree with you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not encouraging to beat the $hit of of kids, that's wrong. But controlled disciplinary actions may help.

You mean that dreaded feather duster. 🙂

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: pontifex
so you people who are against spanking or say its ok but won't do it, what do you do as punishment?

timeouts work wonders with the girl

 

[Sqube]

A couple swats on the butt in private. No closed fist, no jerking the kid around like a rag doll... there's a very specific definition of what spanking is, in my opinion. Once you cross that line you're abusing your kid. My opinion, my opinion, my opinion, my opinion, my opinion.

Of course, this isn't something that's going to be happening until the kid is 17 or whatever. If the kid is old enough to understand what the hell I'm talking about, then the need to spank is over. I just think that, for very young children, association of bad activities with unpleasant sensations is best. You know, like the whole touching the stove thing.

 

[AbAbber2k]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

Um, I believe most studies done on spanking are flawed because they typically only compare high rates of spanking versus no spanking at all. Obviously spanking your children every/every other day of their young life is going to have detrimental effects. However, studies that compared no use of corporal punishment with low and high (1-30ish times a year vs 120+ times a year) show that children who receive minimal corporal punishment do better than those who receive none or excessive amounts.

Spanking is only effective when it is employed rarely and always immediately after the child has done something wrong. Excessive use or excessive threats of corporal punishment only encourage bad behavior. The best thing to do is reserve spanking for SERIOUS infractions and use mild warnings/punishments to deter poor behavior in general (social psychological studies show that the significant threats are less effective than minor threats, ie: tell a child you'll be unhappy if he does something versus threating to spank a child if he does something).

That said, I don't know if I'll spank my children. My mother was the only one to spank me, and it was RARE... only if I really fvcked up. My dad never laid a hand on me, except once I think, and I sure as hell deserved it.

 

[OutHouse]

my kids got the three strike rule.

verbal warning
nose on the wall
nose on the wall but a bit longer
and if it still didnt sink in they got their butts popped and that always corrected their behavior.

honestly its been a long time since they got to strike 3.

in public i used the "vulcan nerve pinch" in fact i had to use that on my 7 year old son last weekend because he was acting a fool in the grocery store. the "VNP" always works.

 

[jme5343]

Voted yes. Had to give my little girl a spanking today 🙁
The anti-spankers act like we do it because we enjoy it. It almost made me cry, lol. Poor thing, but she just wasn't getting the picture.

It helped 😉


We always talk about it before and after, there's a defined set of rules that warrants a spanking. I always talk about what she did, she tells me what she did wrong. I say, "Well, what's that mean?"

"I get a spanking daddy" <----That's the hard part.

 

[CollectiveUnconscious]

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

Um, I believe most studies done on spanking are flawed because they typically only compare high rates of spanking versus no spanking at all. Obviously spanking your children every/every other day of their young life is going to have detrimental effects. However, studies that compared no use of corporal punishment with low and high (1-30ish times a year vs 120+ times a year) show that children who receive minimal corporal punishment do better than those who receive none or excessive amounts.

Spanking is only effective when it is employed rarely and always immediately after the child has done something wrong. Excessive use or excessive threats of corporal punishment only encourage bad behavior. The best thing to do is reserve spanking for SERIOUS infractions and use mild warnings/punishments to deter poor behavior in general (social psychological studies show that the significant threats are less effective than minor threats, ie: tell a child you'll be unhappy if he does something versus threating to spank a child if he does something).

That said, I don't know if I'll spank my children. My mother was the only one to spank me, and it was RARE... only if I really fvcked up. My dad never laid a hand on me, except once I think, and I sure as hell deserved it.

While you are correct in saying that minimal use of physical punishment does not facilitate detrimental behavior, you are incorrect in saying it is more effective than non-physical alternatives. Multiple studies comparing the two types of punishment found that they were equal in effectiveness.

 

[Stuxnet]

Been down this road here a number of times, and it never goes well.

Yes, it's okay. Yes, it's been proven to be effective when employed properly and with restraint. Yes, there are alternate ways of disciplining some children. No, not all children are the same. No, spanking does not automatically mean the parent doesn't know how to communicate effectively with his or her children, and no it doesn't mean the child is going to grow up to become a serial rapist/murderer/etc.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

total psychobabble bullsh*t.

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: BigJ

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

You're right. If you want to encourage their development you should use a billy club.

Woohoo for violence. :roll:

Woohoo for having a sense of humor.

 

[Tiamat]

it worked for my parents, but I would limit it myself to only the worst infractions. Punching a child is definately wrong though.

 

[FoBoT]

it is effective at the right age/circumstances

if you just beat your child's rear end everytime they make you mad, then no, it isn't effective

if you do it to a 6 month old baby, no it isn't effective

if you do it to a 15 year old, no it isn't effective (although it might embarress them or something)

 

[CollectiveUnconscious]

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

total psychobabble bullsh*t.

I'm a firm believer in psychologists knowing more about human behavior than the layman who claims "psychobabble bullsh*t."

 

[ViviTheMage]

Originally posted by: Mrvile
I wouldn't spank my kids but I do think it's a legit form of punishment.

I agree.

 

[Armitage]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

Um, I believe most studies done on spanking are flawed because they typically only compare high rates of spanking versus no spanking at all. Obviously spanking your children every/every other day of their young life is going to have detrimental effects. However, studies that compared no use of corporal punishment with low and high (1-30ish times a year vs 120+ times a year) show that children who receive minimal corporal punishment do better than those who receive none or excessive amounts.

Spanking is only effective when it is employed rarely and always immediately after the child has done something wrong. Excessive use or excessive threats of corporal punishment only encourage bad behavior. The best thing to do is reserve spanking for SERIOUS infractions and use mild warnings/punishments to deter poor behavior in general (social psychological studies show that the significant threats are less effective than minor threats, ie: tell a child you'll be unhappy if he does something versus threating to spank a child if he does something).

That said, I don't know if I'll spank my children. My mother was the only one to spank me, and it was RARE... only if I really fvcked up. My dad never laid a hand on me, except once I think, and I sure as hell deserved it.

While you are correct in saying that minimal use of physical punishment does not facilitate detrimental behavior, you are incorrect in saying it is more effective than non-physical alternatives. Multiple studies comparing the two types of punishment found that they were equal in effectiveness.

References?

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

total psychobabble bullsh*t.

I'm a firm believer in psychologists knowing more about human behavior than the layman who claims "psychobabble bullsh*t."

I'm a firm believer that you can find studies to back up just about anything you'd like.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

And an equal number of studies that contradict those studies. Blah blah blah.

 

[chambersc]

okay: yes
would I probably do it: no

 

[blackdogdeek]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: Citrix

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

total psychobabble bullsh*t.

I'm a firm believer in psychologists knowing more about human behavior than the layman who claims "psychobabble bullsh*t."

I'm a firm believer that you can find studies to back up just about anything you'd like.

references? 😉

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: Baked
Behind closed doors and at parts of their body where outsiders can't normally see.

Remember folks, phone books won't leave a mark.

 

[CollectiveUnconscious]

Originally posted by: Armitage

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious

Originally posted by: AbAbber2k

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

Um, I believe most studies done on spanking are flawed because they typically only compare high rates of spanking versus no spanking at all. Obviously spanking your children every/every other day of their young life is going to have detrimental effects. However, studies that compared no use of corporal punishment with low and high (1-30ish times a year vs 120+ times a year) show that children who receive minimal corporal punishment do better than those who receive none or excessive amounts.

Spanking is only effective when it is employed rarely and always immediately after the child has done something wrong. Excessive use or excessive threats of corporal punishment only encourage bad behavior. The best thing to do is reserve spanking for SERIOUS infractions and use mild warnings/punishments to deter poor behavior in general (social psychological studies show that the significant threats are less effective than minor threats, ie: tell a child you'll be unhappy if he does something versus threating to spank a child if he does something).

That said, I don't know if I'll spank my children. My mother was the only one to spank me, and it was RARE... only if I really fvcked up. My dad never laid a hand on me, except once I think, and I sure as hell deserved it.

While you are correct in saying that minimal use of physical punishment does not facilitate detrimental behavior, you are incorrect in saying it is more effective than non-physical alternatives. Multiple studies comparing the two types of punishment found that they were equal in effectiveness.

References?

Gershoff, E.T. (2002). Corporal punishment by parents and associated child behaviors and experiences: A meta-analystic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin, 128, 539-579.

Straus, M.A. (2001). Beating the devil out of them: Corporal punishment in American families and its effects on children (2nd ed.) New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction.

 

[middlehead]

Spanking is fine.

 

[Soybomb]

I wouldn't do it but I think there are far worse things people do their kids like religion so I don't get too worked up about.

 

[dman]

I don't know that it's bad long term if done not out of anger, but, IMO, it's a crutch due to reactive parenting and there are better methods of teaching children.

 

[CollectiveUnconscious]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: CollectiveUnconscious
No no no no and NO. There are numerous studies that indicate that spanking is harmful to the development of the child.

And an equal number of studies that contradict those studies. Blah blah blah.

In a meta-analytical lit review, most of those studies were found wanting. Most are from 30-45 years ago.