is it ok to ask a Chinese girl her "real" name? ***INTERESTING UPDATE****

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slackerinabox

Lifer
Mar 15, 2003
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So my film production class partner took me out to lunch after we finished up a shoot.. She's very friendly and insanely intelligent but doesn't know english very well (so I tried my best to talk about stuff that she could relate to).. So back in taiwan she was one of those pretty hosts of a travel show- we started talking about all the places that she visited while working as a host and eventually I just blurted out "so what is your name? I mean, I know it's 'Joyce' but what's your real name?" she didn't look offended but she told me what it was and then I returned that it was much more interesting than 'Joyce' ... Was that offensive? She didn't seem to mind but it's so hard to tell especially due to the language barrier...

***INTERESTING UPDATE***
I just sent her an email to say hello... She replied and I noticed that she changed her name in the email from "Joyce" to "Chiaoi." her given name! I think I inspired her and did not insult her at all!
 
Kaervak

Kaervak

Diamond Member
Jul 18, 2001
8,460
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81
I wouldn't think it's offensive at all. Interesting little personal info, when my father & uncle came here from Italy back in the 30's they had to change their first names to be more American. My dad's real name is Umberto and my uncle's real name is Chazarey (definitely not spelled right). They were changed to Albert and Caesar.
 
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iotone

Senior member
Dec 1, 2000
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i think some people are just a little shy about their real names... maybe because they feel that if they don't have an "American" type of name, they'll be looked at differently... that's just my guess tho??
 
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Kenny

Platinum Member
Oct 12, 2002
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Unless you laugh like hell when she tells you, there shouldn't be a problem with it.
 
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bolido2000

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 2001
3,720
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I think is ok. Ask her to pronounce her name in chinese.

FOB = Fresh off Boat

I can't belive noone has asked...PICS????
 
S

slackerinabox

Lifer
Mar 15, 2003
12,668
103
106
Originally posted by: bolido2000
I think is ok. Ask her to pronounce her name in chinese.

FOB = Fresh off Boat

I can't belive noone has asked...PICS????
Click to expand...

You know, I was going to take pics of the shoot but I forgot my camera at home.. The actress who we worked with was very pretty even though she was in her 30s .. her headshot is here if you're curious.. My partner's an attractive young lady as well but I respect her too much to be interested in her ;) plus, I have a gf... but I'll post pics from our next shoot...
 
O

OIKOS

Banned
Mar 29, 2000
1,669
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Originally posted by: bolido2000
I think is ok. Ask her to pronounce her name in chinese.

FOB = Fresh off Boat

I can't belive noone has asked...PICS????
Click to expand...






F.O.B does not mean Fresh Off Boat
F.O.B means Fabulous Oriental Being

:D
 
E

Excelsior

Lifer
May 30, 2002
19,047
18
81
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: bolido2000
I think is ok. Ask her to pronounce her name in chinese.

FOB = Fresh off Boat

I can't belive noone has asked...PICS????
Click to expand...

You know, I was going to take pics of the shoot but I forgot my camera at home.. The actress who we worked with was very pretty even though she was in her 30s .. her headshot is here if you're curious.. My partner's an attractive young lady as well but I respect her too much to be interested in her ;) plus, I have a gf... but I'll post pics from our next shoot...
Click to expand...

Fixed link of the pretty lady.
 
S

slackerinabox

Lifer
Mar 15, 2003
12,668
103
106
Originally posted by: Excelsior
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: bolido2000
I think is ok. Ask her to pronounce her name in chinese.

FOB = Fresh off Boat

I can't belive noone has asked...PICS????
Click to expand...

You know, I was going to take pics of the shoot but I forgot my camera at home.. The actress who we worked with was very pretty even though she was in her 30s .. her headshot is here if you're curious.. My partner's an attractive young lady as well but I respect her too much to be interested in her ;) plus, I have a gf... but I'll post pics from our next shoot...
Click to expand...

Fixed link of the pretty lady.
Click to expand...

She was prettier in person and wonderful to work with... Directing attractive people and telling them what to do does wonders for your self esteem! :)
 
Koing

Koing

Elite Member <br> Super Moderator<br> Health and F
Oct 11, 2000
16,843
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It is fine unless she is really stuck up or hates non asians, which is not the case with you.

I alway ask them for their real names anyway also. I prefer to call them by it personally.

Koing
 
S

slackerinabox

Lifer
Mar 15, 2003
12,668
103
106
Originally posted by: Koing
It is fine unless she is really stuck up or hates non asians, which is not the case with you.

I alway ask them for their real names anyway also. I prefer to call them by it personally.

Koing
Click to expand...

So calling her by it in the future is a good idea or a bad one? I think we've gotten into 'friend' territory (she was bitching about her boyfriend and we talked about seeing a movie together with - with our s.o.'s as well, of course) so I was considering referring to her in private as her given name... but I thought that it may be weird...
 
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Spikey217

Golden Member
May 4, 2002
1,687
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I don't think it was offensive but you could have worded your question better. Instead of asking what her "real" name was, maybe you could have gone with "What is your traditional Taiwanese name?" Her American name is just as ?real? as her Taiwanese name right?
 
B

boyRacer

Lifer
Oct 1, 2001
18,569
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0
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Koing
It is fine unless she is really stuck up or hates non asians, which is not the case with you.

I alway ask them for their real names anyway also. I prefer to call them by it personally.

Koing
Click to expand...

So calling her by it in the future is a good idea or a bad one? I think we've gotten into 'friend' territory (she was bitching about her boyfriend and we talked about seeing a movie together with - with our s.o.'s as well, of course) so I was considering referring to her in private as her given name... but I thought that it may be weird...
Click to expand...

i would just call her joyce.
 
S

slackerinabox

Lifer
Mar 15, 2003
12,668
103
106
Originally posted by: Spikey217
I don't think it was offensive but you could have worded your question better. Instead of asking what her "real" name was, maybe you could have gone with "What is your traditional Taiwanese name?" Her American name is just as ?real? as her Taiwanese name right?
Click to expand...

ok, so I was slightly more gentleman like in person- I actually said "what's your given name... It's not Joyce, is it" and then added the rude "there are so many asian "Jenny's" even though asian names are so interesting"
 
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Spikey217

Golden Member
May 4, 2002
1,687
0
76
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Originally posted by: Spikey217
I don't think it was offensive but you could have worded your question better. Instead of asking what her "real" name was, maybe you could have gone with "What is your traditional Taiwanese name?" Her American name is just as ?real? as her Taiwanese name right?
Click to expand...

ok, so I was slightly more gentleman like in person- I actually said "what's your given name... It's not Joyce, is it" and then added the rude "there are so many asian "Jenny's" even though asian names are so interesting"
Click to expand...

Thats fine. I guess the second line was a little uncalled for but it's not really that rude. Hell, I know tons of asian girls named Jenny.
 
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PoPPeR

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 2002
6,993
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0
I like saying my name cuz afterwards everyone asks, "what does it mean"? My name means Pride of the Family (Lion of the Family if directly translated, but it means pride :))
 
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thirdlegstump

Banned
Feb 12, 2001
8,713
0
0
Yea I've been through this many times.
One time it was so over-the-top that I laughed my balls off. There was this totally fresh off the plane Chinese girl back in high school that I was talking to in history class. Very cute but her English was ESL level. I asked what her name was and in the most blatant, I-can't-explain-how-nut-busting-manner way, she blurted out "My name ish Elizabeth!"
I choked and nearly fell off my chair. I know it's rather rude of me for doing that but it was just so unexpected and unreal that I couldn't help myself.
The other funky thing that happened was back in Junior High when I had this obnoxious and rather comedically rude science teacher. He actually recently passed away due to brain cancer but the guy was a monster comedian. He used to pick on certain students, usually a minority and jab jokes about them until they nearly cried.
One time, we had a student who's last name was Yu. The teacher knew what his first name was but he'd never say it because he has been procrastinating a really nasty joke on him for weeks because of his first name. He then did it. During attendance, he was calling out names and then blurted out "Is Yu here?"
Teacher: "Mr. Yu, what is your first name and how do you pronounce your full name?"
Mr. Yu: "Fuk, Fuk Yu"
Teacher: "That's not very nice"
 
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isaacmacdonald

Platinum Member
Jun 7, 2002
2,820
0
0
I've had this conversation with a couple people before. The thing is, depending on how long she's here, or what people usually call her, her english name can be as "real" as her chinese name. A better strategy might be to ask if she has "a chinese name".
 
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FuZoR

Diamond Member
Sep 22, 2001
4,422
1
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you know her "real" name could have been Joyce
then you would have looked like an idiot ;-)



 
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