is it ok to ask a Chinese girl her "real" name? ***INTERESTING UPDATE****

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gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
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i always found it kind of annoying when people asked me that... but maybe that's just me. if i wanted to be called by my chinese name, i would have given it...
 

thirdlegstump

Banned
Feb 12, 2001
8,713
0
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Originally posted by: gopunk
i always found it kind of annoying when people asked me that... but maybe that's just me. if i wanted to be called by my chinese name, i would have given it...

My question is, how come you don't use your given name in the first place? I do and no one has a problem with it. I think I'd alienate people if I were to call myself Rodriguez or something when I look completely asian. I sometimes think it's more of a "pride" issue than anything really.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,600
1,005
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I knew a Japanese girl like that. She always went by Michelle even though her real name is Masai (which is a really pretty name IMO). She even changed her name to Michelle.

I don't get it.
 

ChefJoe

Platinum Member
Jan 5, 2002
2,506
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So she's taiwanese ? Many taiwanese have an english name even before they come over.
 

thirdlegstump

Banned
Feb 12, 2001
8,713
0
0
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
I knew a Japanese girl like that. She always went by Michelle even though her real name is Masai (which is a really pretty name IMO). She even changed her name to Michelle.

I don't get it.

Yea that name seems pretty 'popular' within asians. I knew a Michelle but she'd never tell me her real name.
 

shopbruin

Diamond Member
Jul 12, 2000
5,817
0
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some of us don't have a "real" name. my birth certificate has an "american" name, and i go by it with everyone. my parents gave me a chinese name also but never use it.

there are some parents that make the chinese name the middle name, but that didn't occur to my parents. so eh.

i'd probably be shocked if anyone ever asked me that. i act fairly americanized, by virtue of being born here and raised here, and it would make me feel like the ultimate outsider - i.e. i can't have an americanized name? i have to have a chinese one? asking her "real" name was probably shocking and slightly offending to her, perhaps asking her what her chinese name was would have gone over a little better.
 

Looney

Lifer
Jun 13, 2000
21,938
5
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ok wtf are you guys talking about a real name and a fake name? I know the 'fake' name is the American name, but what's the real name? If you're talking about the name in their language, then that's the name in their language. It's not more real or the american name any more fake.

And i don't know what's the interest. Are you really interested in their culture that you're curious about their name? Or are you curious about how odd their name must sound that they had to take an 'american' name?
 

mattgyver

Senior member
Jan 11, 2002
395
0
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I know an Indian guy that owns a gas station. He's been in the U.S. for a few years now. His name?
"Mike".
I never asked him his "real" name. But I have a feeling he wouldn't have been offended. He's a really nice guy.
 

nativesunshine

Diamond Member
Jan 6, 2003
3,284
0
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I think..instead of asking for her "real" name..why don't you ask for her "Chinese" name?

Julie is just as "real" as my Chinese name. It's the name I use on my ID, social security and all my school records. And although it won't offend me if someone asks that..i'd prefer if that question was rephrased a bit.
 

EvilYoda

Lifer
Apr 1, 2001
21,198
9
81
Well, you'd probably have even less problems with "what is your chinese name" as opposed to "real" name. You never know, Joyce could be what her birth certificate says. :)
 

iwearnosox

Lifer
Oct 26, 2000
16,018
5
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Can't we sink these boats before they ever hit shore? My whole town looks like a giant chinese restaurant now. :D
 

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
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Originally posted by: deathkoba
Originally posted by: gopunk
i always found it kind of annoying when people asked me that... but maybe that's just me. if i wanted to be called by my chinese name, i would have given it...

My question is, how come you don't use your given name in the first place? I do and no one has a problem with it. I think I'd alienate people if I were to call myself Rodriguez or something when I look completely asian. I sometimes think it's more of a "pride" issue than anything really.

well my parents gave me an english name as well as a chinese name, so it's not like i just made one up out of the blue. legally, my name is not the chinese version.
 

KGB1

Platinum Member
Dec 29, 2001
2,998
0
0
I guess its okay, I've never asked. Some chinese girls I dated I haven't really had to ask for their names. Usually their mom or grandma's would say it and I would remember it.

Then they would be so suprised when I call them by it :Q ;)
 
Mar 15, 2003
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Ok, I didn't say "what's your REAL name".. Let me clear that up.. I asked what her given name was because the conversation drifted into a conversation about her family back home, etc.. She asked me if most of my family was in india or here (I answered here) and I asked her if most of her family was in taiwan or china (her status as a relative newbie in this country was a constant through the conversation- in fact, I'll be proof-reading all of her papers now because her english isn't that great..So I didn't ask someone who had a californian accent what her real name is!)... I asked her what her given name was, not "Real" and complimented her on it afterwards... i guess it is offensive.. i'm writing her an email right now to thank her (the dim sum dinner she treated me to was like $40 a person!), i'll slide in a subtle apology ...
 

xospec1alk

Diamond Member
Mar 4, 2002
4,329
0
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if you asked ME that, i would get offended because i dont have a chinese name. and i hate when people ask that of other people. but thats just me.
 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,795
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most asian american parents iknow call their children by their american names. the chinese names are more or less irrelevant in daily life:p heck we speak back toour parents in english.:p i'm not sure i'd call my chinese name my "real" name. its just my chinese name:p

in many asian countries kids get english names from the start anyways. well atleast hong kong. or they take one later.
 

dopcombo

Golden Member
Nov 14, 2000
1,394
0
0
I'm glad your teacher died. It's too bad no one made fun of him before he did.


Originally posted by: deathkoba
Yea I've been through this many times.
One time it was so over-the-top that I laughed my balls off. There was this totally fresh off the plane Chinese girl back in high school that I was talking to in history class. Very cute but her English was ESL level. I asked what her name was and in the most blatant, I-can't-explain-how-nut-busting-manner way, she blurted out "My name ish Elizabeth!"
I choked and nearly fell off my chair. I know it's rather rude of me for doing that but it was just so unexpected and unreal that I couldn't help myself.
The other funky thing that happened was back in Junior High when I had this obnoxious and rather comedically rude science teacher. He actually recently passed away due to brain cancer but the guy was a monster comedian. He used to pick on certain students, usually a minority and jab jokes about them until they nearly cried.
One time, we had a student who's last name was Yu. The teacher knew what his first name was but he'd never say it because he has been procrastinating a really nasty joke on him for weeks because of his first name. He then did it. During attendance, he was calling out names and then blurted out "Is Yu here?"
Teacher: "Mr. Yu, what is your first name and how do you pronounce your full name?"
Mr. Yu: "Fuk, Fuk Yu"
Teacher: "That's not very nice"

 

bolido2000

Diamond Member
Dec 3, 2001
3,720
1
0
Originally posted by: FreshPrince
is it ok to ask a Chinese girl her "real" name?

yes

is it ok to call her Chinese when she's actually Taiwanese?

that'll get you a kick in the nacksack ;)

I hope she is not as ignorant. People from Taiwan are Chinese from Taiwan. Last time I checked Taiwan does not have a country status like any other country on Earth. It is a disagrace that so many Taiwanese want to have "Japanese blood" than say they are Chinese. Yeah, a lot of Taiwanese don't want to even believe that their ancestors are from China. For those who don't know there has always been a division in the past with "People orginally from Taiwan" (I put this in quotes cuz the real Taiwanese are the aborigenes) and those that moved to Taiwan after the Civl of war of 1949. A lot of people hate China and look up at Japan. Well, China's government's sucks, but we are all Chinese at the end separeted by politics.
 

FreshPrince

Diamond Member
Dec 6, 2001
8,361
1
0
Originally posted by: bolido2000
Originally posted by: FreshPrince
is it ok to ask a Chinese girl her "real" name?

yes

is it ok to call her Chinese when she's actually Taiwanese?

that'll get you a kick in the nacksack ;)

I hope she is not as ignorant. People from Taiwan are Chinese from Taiwan. Last time I checked Taiwan does not have a country status like any other country on Earth. It is a disagrace that so many Taiwanese want to have "Japanese blood" than say they are Chinese. Yeah, a lot of Taiwanese don't want to even believe that their ancestors are from China. For those who don't know there has always been a division in the past with "People orginally from Taiwan" (I put this in quotes cuz the real Taiwanese are the aborigenes) and those that moved to Taiwan after the Civl of war of 1949. A lot of people hate China and look up at Japan. Well, China's government's sucks, but we are all Chinese at the end separeted by politics.

Dood wth are you talking about! :| you obviously know nothing about the history between Taiwan and China. You made that statement either from a book you read or someone told you. I can tell you that you're wrong, but what's the point, it won't even matter because you obviously don't care. Saying USA = England is less of an outrage than what you've just posted. It's late, let's just let it go at that. me so sleepy!