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Is it normal to prefer to stay at home over a social event?

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Originally posted by: BingBongWongFooey
Originally posted by: jobuRAVE
You are probably an introvert. This means, simply, that it taxes your reserves to be around others. Extroverts, by contrast, recharge by being around others. You are made a certain way, just accept it and if others don't, fvck em.
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:thumbsup:

If you are an introvert, or think you're one, read THIS!
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Good article! It wasn't until after 5 horrible years of college, thinking that there was something wrong with me, hating myself for avoiding social situations, finding solace in my schoolwork and other solo activities, and generally just being depressed, that I learned what being introverted meant. This article is identifying me to a T.

"Hell is other people at breakfast."
"The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself."
😀 So true!
 
you're asking a bunch of antisocial introverts what normal is?
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Hey I know if I ask the general public I would be shot down 😉


Spidey would like a 5 dollar exacta wheel on 5 with 2,8,7,9 and 10 and a 5 dollar trifecta box on 9,7,2.
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Unfortunately, my introvertedness has led to my complete lack of understanding for horse racing, thus my loosing $40 🙁 Which is not too bad if you convert that to USD!
 
Originally posted by: MulLa
It's nothing more than a social gathering of a few staff members (turn out rate is around 50% for our local state office), an excuse to get drunk and socialise about pointless topics.

What do you guys think?
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Most 'social' events my co-workers go to are solely an excuse to get drunk, hit on females, shoot pool, and play poker. None of which I find entertaining. On the rare occasion when the 'event' is held at a something like an amusement park with rides and such, or basicly any place where there is something do that doesn't involve cards, booze, or pool, I usually go if I know a lot of people attending. But thats rare. Usually, I stay home.

On a side note, because of my desire to remain at home and remain single, I get targetted for every single anti-suicide prevention thingie in the squadron. I've actually had co-workers report me to the chaplain, first sergeant, life skills, etc for fitting into the high suicide risk categories. Bah.
 
MulLa--

Don't be afraid to be who you are, and don't try to be someone you're not. It's very easy for extraverts to sit there and tell you "be extraverted" but it's not possible for you to actually be one. Introverts can put on a happy face and endure situations like that, but at the end of the day they are exhausted and frustrated, whereas extraverts come home energized and ready to do it again at the next possible opportunity.

It's a fundamental difference in human personality. Unfortunately, the split is not 50-50 and western society revolves around extraversion (much like it does around right-handedness). Life for an introvert can be quite isolating, that is until you find other introverts who understand you without you needing to explain. The corporate world of bureaucracy and cut-throat competition is not the best place to begin that search, however. Extraverts are drawn to those places like flies on sh!t. In my experience, introverts tend to be much happier in small businesses, consulting, or artistic endeavors--where their solitude is not only tolerated but encouraged and understood. You may not have the opportunities for "advancement" and "moving up the ladder", but IMHO many introverts aren't seeking that kind of recognition and rigidity anyway.

Introverts can act extraverted, but that's all it is, an act. It takes a lot of effort though, and at the end of the day you have to ask yourself if it's worth it.

Best to you!

l2c
 
Thanks heaps l2c for the very informative and encouraging post there. Well, I just felt that these social events are just a waste of time on my part. Something that I often go to because people often ask me to go along and I do that because they asked. It's very true that when I'm there I just wish it was over soon and longed to get home and start posting 😀 Well maybe not posting but maybe reading a few articles on the net or reading a book or even tinkering on the comp!

As the link to that introvert article (sorry to the person that's posted it and I've forgotten who)... The split is more like 75-25 and that just makes us seemed "abnormal"!! I think I have found someone at work who is also an introvert... Well he did sit by himself at that function and most of the time I sat next to him being quiet more of the time but having a few chatters every now and then.

It's indeed extremely hard and exhausting for me to try and act extraverted and I do try sometimes at there places or at work. I just take it as a part of life. We all have to act extraverted sometimes to be successful.

Once again thanks for everyone who's responded.
 
Normal or not normal? Doesn't really matter. What matters is what you think your GF needs to think. If you think she needs to ignore all your work social events, then start talking about some hot chick at work and whenever there's a work social event, start dropping hints that the hot chick may be there. Your GF should then become jealous and start suggesting you stay home and ignore work social events, which is your stated preference.
 
I'm an introvert and while I am pretty typical when it comes to socializing and whatnot, I do enjoy working at a job where I have to interact with cow-orkers a lot. After a while you grow comfortable around them and since my job is largely a joke anyways (McD), I get pretty insane at work. Sometimes you'd never guess I was an introvert. When I arrive at work I make sure people understand that it's "BURGER TIME," and when I'm on a roll bustin' out them burgers, I call it "burger fever."

😕

It's interesting because my last job was a boring office job where I barely interacted with other people and the one person I usually interacted with was ANNOYING AS HELL. That job was miserable. Being around people wears me out, but I think to a certain extent I do feel the need for some socialization. (not that I crave it; I just feel like I'm losing touch with the world or something)
 
Me <-- shy and introverted plus has clinically diagnosed Anxiety.

I hate office parties/gatherings. I hate parties in general.

I even avoid friends sometimes.

No, I'm not "normal" or "average." But I'm not a AT Lifer either...yet.
 
Originally posted by: MulLa
Hi all,

To cut a long story short, we've got this social even at work, well it's just finished this afternoon actually. It's a lunch at a horse racing event.

I've told my gf that I'd much rather be at home in front of the computer reading Anandtech!!! She just laughed and tell me that's not what most people would prefer. Well, I do admit to that but I just felt that there must be a lot more people out there who have similar feelings towards these events?

It's nothing more than a social gathering of a few staff members (turn out rate is around 50% for our local state office), an excuse to get drunk and socialise about pointless topics.

What do you guys think?
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"Antisocial types share an ability to see environments as they really are." That's a paraphrase (maybe accurate, actually) and I think from Marshall McCluhan's "The Medium is the Message."

Personally, I've been to one day at the races and never wanted to go again. I can identify with not wanting to schmooze with drinking coworkers. For me, it hasn't been much of an issue if any. I went to one baseball game with coworkers. Actually, it was kind of a bummer, but they bought the tickets. Other than that, I've been to some on-site birthday parties and Xmas parties, that weren't too bad. This does sound not so great, IMO, and I don't blame you.

 
Spidey went to the races today.

Won over 1000 bucks - two trifectas and two exactas.

See, there is a reason to get out.

😉
 
Hahaha good one Blueoak but then I think I'll get in trouble immediately by brining up the topic of a hot girl at work 😀 So I don't think it'll work for me.

tk149: I think I'm like you sometimes 😀

spidey07: Well considering you know a lot about races and all that. I don't even know what those 'race books' were on about with their 'form guides' etc!!!! Actually I was a bit surprised by you being an extrovert. Since I've always associated introvertness and computer knowledge with each other 😎
 
All you introverts... Do you have brothers or Sisters that are EXTREMELY Extrovert?

I have a sister who's an Extrovert and it's hell I tell ya. I always get jealous about WHY can't I be like that. And plus, I stutter, So It's not easy for me to go to Social stuff and meet new people.
I was beginning to change... I was beginning to be social but due to some problems, I'm way worse now.
I quitted College because I was panicking in classes. I couldn't bear the stress...

Bah, Sorry to annoy you with my story because I'm quite in a depression right now...
 
I have the same feelings as you do about these events. They are boring to me and the whole time all I can think about is how I could be at home doing something I want to be doing. I don't like being put in those kinds of situations unless I put myself in them because I want to go to whatever event it is. As far as other people expecting me to go....... If somebody expects me to go somewhere that's almost enough reason right there for me not to go. I don't like being pressured or the feeling of I have to do something to be normal or so somebody else won't think badly of me.... bah if somebody thinks badly because I don't show up to a social event then that's their problem not mine. It's my choice to live my life how I want to live it not up to a bunch of other people.
 
Originally posted by: MulLa
Hi all,

To cut a long story short, we've got this social even at work, well it's just finished this afternoon actually. It's a lunch at a horse racing event.

I've told my gf that I'd much rather be at home in front of the computer reading Anandtech!!! She just laughed and tell me that's not what most people would prefer. Well, I do admit to that but I just felt that there must be a lot more people out there who have similar feelings towards these events?

It's nothing more than a social gathering of a few staff members (turn out rate is around 50% for our local state office), an excuse to get drunk and socialise about pointless topics.

What do you guys think?
Click to expand...

you have social anxiety. see a psycholgist. becareful bout anti-anxiety drugs like xanax. your body develops a tolerance to it. so sooner or later, you have to learn how to deal w/it w/o drugs.
 
In simplest terms you're an introvert, she's an extrovert. Personality differences along the I/E axis are one of the most fundamental differences among people, and usually the easiest to spot. There is no 'right answer', only what's right for you. There are slightly more extroverts than introverts, I think along the lines of 60/40.
 
Originally posted by: jobuRAVE
You are probably an introvert. This means, simply, that it taxes your reserves to be around others. Extroverts, by contrast, recharge by being around others. You are made a certain way, just accept it and if others don't, fvck em.
Click to expand...
Also, understand that in the business world, being an introvert all but excludes you from being promoted to a position of management.

Stay home and make less money. YAY!
 
Originally posted by: Ilmater
Originally posted by: jobuRAVE
You are probably an introvert. This means, simply, that it taxes your reserves to be around others. Extroverts, by contrast, recharge by being around others. You are made a certain way, just accept it and if others don't, fvck em.
Click to expand...
Also, understand that in the business world, being an introvert all but excludes you from being promoted to a position of management.

Stay home and make less money. YAY!
Click to expand...

What this says is that the business world is fairly screwed up of course, not the individuals. 😎 Better to be who you are and content that live a lie for a bigger paycheck.
 
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