is it a good thing to shield your children from alcohol?

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: rudder
No point in keeping it a mystery from the kids. Teach them responsibility and all will be good.

this. i dont really shield my kids from anything. hardcore sex scenes i still dont let them see, but the broadcast tv stuff i really dont make them go to a different room to avoid or anything. they know what alcohol is, have seen it at family functions as long as they have been alive. they also have had a few unfortunate exposures to drugs with various family members, and we have had many conversations about them as well. my bro is the polar opposite, he pretty much shields his boys from everything. i was even told i couldnt give toy guns or fighting type games to them as presents. the alcohol thing is the only one they really dont shield tho, they both are avid wine drinkers. im curious to think back to these days when all our kids are grown to see how things worked out.

 

[MovingTarget]

I'd say no. This is why we have such a problem with alcohol in this country. Kids simply aren't exposed to it in a responsible way. They are told that it is verboten, sinful, etc. which makes alcohol an even stronger object of curiosity at least and the exact tool of rebellion against their parents at worst. Alcohol can be enjoyed responsibly, even by minors.

/flamesuit

Personally, I was given a beer when I was in kindergarden because I saw my parents with one. They made no effort to hide it from me, but didn't get drunk around me either. I was curious, asked to try it, and immedeately spat it out. Bleh. Today I've acquired the taste and enjoy a cold one every now and then. No binging, heavy drinking, etc.

Then again, being raised Catholic probably helped.

 

[SunSamurai]

No need to don the flamesuit, most people here are wise enough to understand the mentality behind shielding. You do more harm than good, its called spoiling them. In other words, do fuck up your kid. And a few sips of beer isnt going to hurt anyone.

 

[OutHouse]

Originally posted by: polarmystery
My mother is from Spain and growing up she always thought it was weird to prevent me from having a drink. She'd ask me if I ever wanted anything from the store and a few times I'd say yes (I was like 10 at the time). Growing up with alcohol was nothing for me and it made the nostalgia of drinking at 21 almost nothing. I never got in trouble with it, it was always controlled at our house and I never abused it. When I have kids I will do the same thing. She trusted me with it (hell I even had alcohol at bday party when I turned 13 but it was under control) and I didn't want to abuse that trust. Now I hardly drink it anyway.

my best friends mom is Irish and when we were kids she used to get us a 6 pack when we "camped" in each others back yard. back then drinking was 18 so when we hit 18 it wasnt that big a deal. i remember my friends on my 18th bday, dude you going to the grocery store to get some beer now that you can??

its become some sort of right of passage now and its just stupid. "hey look at me im 21 i can get totally shit faced now" woot woot woot

:roll:

 

[zerocool84]

It's like kids in Christian Schools, shield them from anything and they act out and do it. Have sex, do drugs, drink alcohol. If you teach/train them young they will be responsible about it.

 

[Kadarin]

Topic Title: is it a good thing to shield your children from alcohol?

There are a few threads on AT (some in L&R I think) where a common theme is that "in this day and age" children become emotionally mature later than they have in the past. The reason for this is because modern "helicopter parents" hover over their kids and try to shield them from anything even remotely adult in nature. Children mature later because we never give them the chance to experience anything.

 

[sjwaste]

Originally posted by: spidey07
That's one way to have an alcoholic kid. It's one of the reasons other countries don't have such a big problem with alcohol abuse as the states, kids are exposed to it early, drink it early and understand moderation.

This is very true. My parents basically never made alcohol a big deal, they're from Italy. I was having some wine with Sunday dinner as far back as I could remember, usually cut with ginger ale.

In high school, the only speech I got was to either call for a ride or stay where I was. Don't drive home, don't get in the car with people who are driving home. And if I could, try to convince them of the same.

I saw a lot of people really drink for the first time in college, and it really did a number. No one had ever really instilled responsible alcohol consumption, as their parents just figured hiding it would fix everything. Those are the people who down 10 shots in a row because they didn't feel the first one yet (duh!). They also tend to drive home, because they're "fine" as far as their experience and lack of education tells them.

 

[magomago]

I know many who grew up in 'dry' households, including myself, who hasn't gone off the deep end with alcohol. In my case, I still haven't had a beer because I'm not interested. I don't think we can characterize it one way or another. Now I DO know people at the same time who HAVE gone off the deep end. I wouldn't say it is one way or another, and I don't pretend to know.
FWIW, I only really had alcohol around me until after I went to college.

Although what I'm thinking is that how the hell do they expect a 2 year old to know what is going on...That is what I'm thinking about the most (and what a few others brought up)

Anywys just respect the parent's opinions. Maybe they dropped the comment as something for the future when the kid is older

edit:

btw, when i read 'sheidling' i don't take it to mean "Prevent you from even knowing what alcohol is". oh, I clearly knew what it was, and what it did. "Shield" meant not to have it around

 

[onlyCOpunk]

Exposing doesn't help anything.

Here (In Australia) 4 in 5 hospital visits of people between the ages 18-24 are from alcohol related injuries.

Kids are going to get drunk and do stupid shit regardless how much they are sheltered or exposed.

Letting your kids always see you pissed as a gnit is a different story.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: onlyCOpunk
Exposing doesn't help anything.

Here (In Australia) 4 in 5 hospital visits of people between the ages 18-24 are from alcohol related injuries.

Kids are going to get drunk and do stupid shit regardless how much they are sheltered or exposed.

Letting your kids always see you pissed as a gnit is a different story.

If you expose them to it and teach them to be responsible and not make drinking a big deal then they are more likely to be more responsible about it.

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: loki8481
so, I'm going to a friends house for dinner with his family later in the week... we're good friends, but I've never been over to his house before because his wife hates me but now I guess she doesn't anymore. naturally, I ask if I can bring anything, and his response is "anything except alcohol, we don't like the kid to be exposed to it." (the kid = their 2 year-old son)

kinda made me scratch my head... I wasn't planning on bringing liquor and it's their kid so it's none of my business, but still, it seems weird and counterintuitive to me. the people I've known with the biggest alcohol problems tended to be the ones who grew up in totally dry households, where alcohol was some kind of dangerous drug that was never spoken of. when they finally did get access to it, they went off the deep end.

I grew up in a household where drinking was the norm. I never saw my parents drunk much less smashed (except once, when I swear my mom called me drunk off her ass, but she was away for the weekend down the shore with some girlfriends), but some wine with meals or enjoying something on the rocks while sitting around after a dinner party was pretty much the status quo growing up.

edit: for what it's worth, I'm bringing chocolate peanut butter cookies... standard PB cookies with some melted high-quality chocolate mixed in and rolled into sugar balls.

when i was 4, i grabbed a beer can someone had set low enough for me to grab, and took a drink.

worst thing i ever tasted.

i still can't stand the taste of beer or most alcohols, though i can stomach mixed drinks.

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: MrChad
My 2 year old son calls my beer bottle "daddy's juice"

that could have an entirely different meaning out of your wife's mouth :Q

 

[IronWing]

I'm going to disagree with dang near everybody in this thread. Having a no alcohol rule in the house isn't really a shield from knowledge or exposure, as the kids will know about alcohol from TV, movies, friends, etc. It does send a strong message that their parents don't approve of drinking. There is nothing wrong with sending that message. Will the kids eventually go off and get ripped? Sure, but that doesn't mean the parent's message was a failure, only that kids are kids. The kids will understand that use/abuse of alcohol doesn't have to be considered the norm.

On a different topic, the OP doesn't mention a religious rationale for the parents prohibition and there is no reason to think that one is needed. The destruction to families caused by alcohol abuse is obvious across our society and no theological underpinning are required to ban it from one's home.

 

[her209]

Originally posted by: Citrix
its become some sort of right of passage now and its just stupid. "hey look at me im 21 i can get totally shit faced now" woot woot woot

:roll:

People still wait til they turn 21 to get shitfaced?

 

[PieIsAwesome]

Hahah, oh noes their 2-year-old will become an alcoholic. If he is exposed to alcohol he will have to go to alcoholics anonymous for 2-year-olds!

Whenever I went to family gatherings or parties when I was younger (around 10?)there was always alcohol. I was curious one time why it was that everyone liked to drink that gross-smelling beverage, beer, and my dad told me to try it. I did and it was disgusting. Never had any interest in beer since that.

 

[Babbles]

I agree with the majority of posters in that shielding the kids from booze like in the OP is a bad idea. The wife and I talked about how when we decide to breed we will likely allow them the occasional wine/beer supervised with dinner.

 

[SunSamurai]

Originally posted by: onlyCOpunk

Kids are going to get drunk and do stupid shit becuse of how much they are sheltered.

Fixed.

 

[sonambulo]

If someone's throwing the bottle at them, then yeah I guess I'd block it.

 

[JulesMaximus]

is it a good thing to shield your children from alcohol?

Beats me. I wasn't shielded from alcohol when I was a child...in fact, I saw one of the worst possible outcomes of alcoholism when I was growing up. Oddly enough, I'm seeing it again in the husband of my wife's best friend.

Can you really shield your children from the realities of life? Would it benefit them ultimately? I'd say it comes down to the child and how they're raised...not whether there was alcohol around when he/she was growing up.

Cut them some slack, new parents are generally very over protective of their children. I'm guessing they'll lighten up sooner or later...or their children will become worthless douchebags who cannot function in the real world. It's hard to say at this point.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: TallBill
Anything that you "shield" a person from will ultimately be discovered, enjoyed, and abused.

:thumbsup:

 

[Miramonti]

Shielding them from something so ingrained in our culture is stupid. As if they aren't going to watch television or see any advertisements. :roll:

By proxy they are making a big deal about it, which can have the exact opposite affect they are looking for.

 

[olds]

It's juvenile and immature. Kids need to be exposed to things to learn the proper way to deal with them. It's called parenting. Your friends are fucktards.

 

[Ackmed]

Originally posted by: TallBill
Anything that you "shield" a person from will ultimately be discovered, enjoyed, and abused.

This is a false, and ignorant statement. Dont try to pass off your opinions, as facts.

I wasnt exposed to alcohol at all. And I dont drink to this day, I can count the beers Ive had on one hand, and Im 34. I was exposed to smoke (both parents smoked).. and dont smoke, and have never even tried it. Not a puff. I was exposed to dip/chew, but have never tried it. I wasnt exposed to drugs growing up, and I have never done an illegal drug. So in short, I dont drink, smoke, dip, or do drugs. Being exposed and not exposed equally to these products.

You cant base what someone will do 100% of the time, by how they were brought up. Most people with opinions on things such as this, dont even have kids.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: TallBill
Anything that you "shield" a person from will ultimately be discovered, enjoyed, and abused.

:thumbsup:

I know! That why I have hardcore porn, loaded guns, razor blades and cocaine sitting on my coffee table. Fuck those stupid parents that "shield" their kids from "life!"

 

[Howard]

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: TallBill
Anything that you "shield" a person from will ultimately be discovered, enjoyed, and abused.

:thumbsup:

I know! That why I have hardcore porn, loaded guns, razor blades and cocaine sitting on my coffee table. Fuck those stupid parents that "shield" their kids from "life!"

Yes, because if it's not on your coffee table your kids won't be able to get it.