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Is internet porn addictive?

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Obviously this thread has sucked me in. 🙁

I spent at least 100 hours looking at porn on the 'net because i was trying to figure out what my husband was getting from it. He can be very controlling sexually,and not in a good, let-me-tie-you-up way... more like, you-will-respond the way I want you to when I want you to. 😛

In fact, he made me read this book, which I think is by Tim and Beverly LaHaye that says oral sex is bad and that the woman should eventually learn to have an orgasm through penetration alone. Talk about a book that needs to be burned...

Anyway, one of his big problems is that he bought into what we call "The Penis is a Magic Wand Myth". It takes a heck of a lot more than your member to be a red-hot lover, boys.

I'm going to shut up now. 😀
 
It's worse than drugs and other external chemical addictions. Instead of just filling your body with junk, it fills your mind and soul. The next time you fans of pron are doing some one handed surfing, ask yourself... does she look like she's truly enjoying it? is her soul benefitting or suffering because of this? then ask why you are supporting it. Even if you are just getting passwords of the net and aren't paying a cent, demand creates supply, and you're the one demanding it. 😱

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I've known too many people who get hooked by that stuff and seen too many families hurt by it. I also think that if most parents (or at least more mothers) knew just how easy it was to find pron on the net, the wouldn't let their kids have so much free reign with computers and high speed internet. That's sad, considering all the good things the internet provides. The stuff out there is way worse than anything I ever saw when going through my dad's stack of magazines in the garage.
 
Viper

He's kind of messed up that way, but he's getting better. I won't get into the horror stories, 'cause I want to honor the fact that for where he comes from, he has made great strides.

BTW, he comes from a really intensely Christian family... but they were hiding a lot of crap under a religious facade.

Little Islacita come around and blew everything sky high! 😀

Honestly, since I came into their lives, nothing has been the same. I've blown the whistle loud and clear a few times. My MIL just loooooves me.... NOT! 😀
 
After I tried suicide I got help, I am getting help, and have been for nearly 4 years. I do look at porn, and try to avoid child porn at all costs. But you get these sites that say "Teen", "Lolita", "Young". ITs a temptation. Let me tell you that it is the most heart wrenching and stomach turning feeling. I hate porn with a passion. All of it, anything. I am torn it two, its like my soul has been tainted, God is the only way for me to have it cleansed. But as long as I continue to feed it trash, it never gets clean.

Viper I agree. When you get bored... where do you end up? Porn sites.

I am going to do that audio cap now, since it is an interview. It will be posted somewhere soon.
 
Warrenton...

As stupid as it may sound, you might want to get either filtering software for your computer or a filtered ISP. I know there's one here in Portland called Integrity Online. With filtering software, although you'd obviously know the password to bypass it it'd be one last slap in the face saying "HEY! What the FVCK do you think you're doing?" Program ALL of your regular porn sites into the blocked list, & then when it pops up & says you can't go there... Shut off your computer & find something else to do.

As for a filtered ISP, that might be a hard adjustment for you. Chances are if you could find one they wouldn't provide broadband access (I'm assuming you have broadband), & you'd have to revert to 56K dialup. Although they don't have a comprehensive list of porn sites, they'll be able to block a lot. And you won't be able to bypass it, as it's on their systems and not yours.

Whatever you do, TAKE ACTION! Don't trust your own willpower to keep you from it, because you'll lose. Set up some boundaries, find someone to be accountable to, or stay off the 'net. Yes, I know staying off the 'net is drastic... But if that's what it takes to get your life back in order, then so be it. There've been times when I've considered cancelling my ISP account for that very reason. But it's pretty much under control, I don't think I've been to a porn site in months.

Good luck.

Viper GTS
 
Another Good Idea...

Don't stay up late. You are weak when you are tired. My husband and I saved ourselves for our wedding night (which totally sucked, but that's another story) and we had all kinds of techniques for avoiding it. 😉
 
Good point, Isla. When I do screw up, it's usually at 1 or 2 in the morning... Not at 7 or 8 at night. Being tired affects your judgement, as well as your willpower.

BTW, congrats on waiting 'til you were married. Not many people do that anymore, & even fewer see the value in it.

Viper GTS
 
Viper,

One of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place was because he was trying NOT to get in my pants.

My brother was a virgin when he married at 28. Now, that's a long time to wait! But he was also painfully shy.
 
>>Porn is both destructive and deadly to the viewer, and people around the viewer.

Oh Please.

>>Did you know that Ted Bundy was a porn addict when he was younger? He was never sexually abused, yet the porn abused him. When softcore wasn't enough, he went to hardcore, then to child, then to rape, then to being a rapist, then to being a murder rapist. Each stage lost its thrill, so he need something new.

Funny you don't mention the millions of other men who enjoy smut and don't go around strangling women. Jimmy Carter liked to look at smut. He wasn't/isn't an all around bad guy (not the best pres, but a good human being)

I feel fou you, we all have our demons and we fight them daily.

I spent 8 years studying psychology and also took 7 woman studies classes (not too bad). Compared to the WS, psychology is a hard science. The extremists will have men stop looking at all porn regardless of the contradictory research on it. Guess what, aint gonna happen. Men like to look at smut. They will. Now what we can work on is how women and men are treated apart from it. Despite what the WS folks want you to believe there is no credible study saying that rape fantasies lead to rape.

Guess what? According to sex survey for the last 30 years (forget Kinsey) most men have at least a few rape fantasies. Most men do not rape. Most men get aroused when watching a rape on TV or the movies. How do we know? We attached a penile plethysmograph and measured it. This arousal does not lead to rape or violence. We have self regulatory control. I may want to bop someone over the head with a stick, but I don't do it for the same reason I don't rape. It isn't the right thing to do.

Now, I am not saying that porn is destructive. It can be. It does tend to make people dissatisfied with their "average" looking wives/gf/bf. So does Titanic and Leo/Kate. What are we going to do outlaw Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston?

NOT blaming an outside force for one's behavior may be the single hardest thing to do in this day and age of 12-step programs for late videotape returners that encourage blame to be placed on anyone and anything but the individual. That is destructive. Remove all responsibility from a human being and encourage them to find an alternative explanation for their behavior.

There are substances in everyday life that cause us to lose control, Alcohol, nicoteine, movies, illicit drugs, bad traffic, the internet, forums where people post 100x a day, donuts and candy, etc. All of these things can and will take over the active part of one's life if one allows then to do that. Hopefully the human spirit can overcome them. If not, in MOST -- but not all -- cases, the individual is to blame, not anyone or anything outside the individual. If we don't accept that we become a sad, helpless, dependant empty shell of a person.



 
Greg

Extemely good point.

That's why, although I see the negative potential, I would never support a ban on it. I'm all in favor of veiwing the beauty of the human form... I am just against abusing it.

Ultimately, it is up to the control of the individual veiwer. If you don't have internal controls.... Well, who knows what you'll do? Internal controls are always superior to external controls.... because we are all capable of being naughty when we think no one is looking! 😉


The bottom line is to control yourself, and don't take pleasure in the suffering and exploitation of others... EVER.

I'd like to see this be a long-running thread. It is very informative and may be instrumental in helping a lot of people get a grip on... oh, nevermind! 😀

Peace!


 
Greg...

Nobody is trying to blame the actions of Ted Bundy on porn. Did you listen to the audio file that Warrenton posted? Just as we blame a person who loses control under the influence of alcohol or drugs, porn is not the whole problem. But it's a contributing factor. Just like alcohol, when used in moderation porn doesn't cause huge problems. You might not even notice them. But just like alcohol, porn can be abused. And can be addictive. More & more is required for a thrill, until the only remaining step is to act out the fantasies presented by the porn. Is this the person's fault? ABSOLUTELY. But they probably wouldn't have done it without the influence of porn.

Yes, the majority of men will never strangle a woman. But why feed the desire? Also, if you'll listen to the audio file the real danger is identified as "violent pornography." Not your Playboy/Penthouse type stuff. But everyone has to start somewhere.

Despite what the WS folks want you to believe there is no credible study saying that rape fantasies lead to rape.

So rapists have this sudden spur of the moment idea to force a woman into having sex with them? How else would they get to that point? Whether or not we can link it in human studies, common sense says that there had to be the fantasy first. And studies of convicted rapists/murderers HAVE shown that a VERY high percentage of them fueled that desire with pornography.

If not, in MOST -- but not all -- cases, the individual is to blame, not anyone or anything outside the individual.

Nobody is denying that. We're simply saying that violent porn feeds that desire, causing it to grow. If starved, that desire would probably die.

Why play with fire?

Viper GTS
 


<< Just like a drug addiction, it takes more &amp; more to get a thrill. >>

Bah. If its like that you have some disfunction. That to me is like saying eating a small piece of candy is gonna mean I will want to eat a 10lb bag of sugar later on. As long as you remember thats not you I think you'll be fine. Your friend telling his girl friend that she'd be better with larger breats etc, has a problem as well I'd think. I will admit to watching some a pornographic video with a g/f once, but I'd never want to ask her to change. By your same token of thinking watching a thriller movie is gonna give you the urge to watch a killer movie, then a serial killer movie, then you're going to want to act out this fantasy yourself and become a murderer too. For some this might happen, but I maintain its not a normal reaction and I'd venture to say its perfectly healthy. If you choose porn over real life though its time to see the shrink hehe.
 
Soybomb...

It starts out on a smaller scale, though. Even in my own experience, I could see the progression from one level to another.

I started out with your basic bikini pics. Nothing major, I still check those out. SI Swimsuit Edition, that kind of stuff. Nothing that bad. Then I moved to wet t-shirt stuff. When that got boring, it was topless. After a while topless got boring too, &amp; full nudity was the next logical step. Luckily I never got past Playboy level stuff. I quit before that got boring.

You comparing porn to candy isn't a fair comparison. Candy &amp; sweets are a very normal part of our diet. Yes, they can be abused. But they're not addictive in the sense that it will take more &amp; more to taste good. I can enjoy a Twix today as much as the first time I ever had one. They're good. Porn is different. Just like &quot;soft&quot; drugs are often a gateway into &quot;hard&quot; drugs, softcore porn is often a gateway into hardcore porn. Just like very few people jump to the hard drugs, very few people jump to the hardcore porn. They start out thinking they're in control, that it's harmless. BUT IT'S NOT!

If you want a very simple demonstration of the point, go get some Playboy's from the 50's or 60's. Then go get some from today. See a difference? When Playboy was first introduced, it was thought to be pretty wild stuff. The Playboys from back then are NOTHING compared to today's. Playboy in itself is probably relatively harmless. But it builds a tolerance. Then human nature takes over &amp; wants the thrill again. Is it Playboy's fault? Hell no. But it was a gateway.

You're free to make your own decision, obviously. For most people it will never become a serious problem. But for me, it's not worth even a small risk. I have better things to do with my time &amp; money. Eventually I'll have all the sex I want to - within a marriage, &amp; with the woman I'm in love with. That's well worth waiting for.

Viper GTS
 
So rapists have this sudden spur of the moment idea to force a woman into having sex with them? How else would they get to that point? Whether or not we can link it in human studies, common sense says that there had to be the fantasy first.

Funny thing about common sense, it isn't common and other people's does not make any sense.

I think you are missing the point here, I said that rape fantasies do not cause rape. I stand by that.

Your argument is circular. It is the same as me saying &quot;murderers fantasize about murder&quot;

The murderers that do have those fantasies do not show that murder fantasies lead to murder. Have you ever had a murder fantasy? C'mon, after a RAMBO film or something? It's a daydream, a fantasy. Have you ever murdered someone? No? Then you are saying that only those people predisposed to being influenced by fantasies are at risk.

Your logic is not logical. The point is that if you take 100 rapists and they all ate peanut butter as children, large quantities of it, it is still just a correlation. There are likely thousands of other correlations that would make you fearful.

And studies of convicted rapists/murderers HAVE shown that a VERY high percentage of them fueled that desire with pornography.

So what? Those same studies show high testosterone and norepinephrine levels. What other correlations can we find? Your logic again is severely flawed. If X occurs in population Y, then X causes Y. Absurd.

Nobody starts out with child porn, bestiality, or any of the &quot;sick&quot; stuff. But as you become acclimated to the minor stuff (Playboy, Perfect 10, etc) it'll get boring. Then you move to harder stuff (Penthouse, Hustler, etc). There's no stopping it. Just like a drug addiction, it takes more &amp; more to get a thrill.

No stopping it eh? You are wrong again. Not everyone here looks at child porn and bestiality. I'll wager that some have seen some porn. Again, you are talking about a subset of the population that is predisposed to it. Do all beer drinker wind up in the gutter? Do all pot smokerswind up shooting heroin? No, many maintain a set level or quit.

Nobody is denying that. We're simply saying that violent porn feeds that desire, causing it to grow. If starved, that desire would probably die.

You are semi-wrong again. Many times the state and federal gov't has had to deal with this issue.

Child molesters and rapists for example have undergone nearly every treatment on earth including depo-provera and voluntary castration. There is no single effective treatment. Where you are right is the middle-ground people. Remove the environment and the behavior will follow, that is likely. A very depressing statement about human character however.


Nobody is trying to blame the actions of Ted Bundy on porn.

Um read the following and say that with a straight face


Did you know that Ted Bundy was a porn addict when he was younger? He was never sexually abused, yet the porn abused him. When softcore wasn't enough, he went to hardcore, then to child, then to rape, then to being a rapist, then to being a murder rapist. Each stage lost its thrill, so he need something new.



 
Greg...

You're right, rape fantasies do not cause rape. But dwelling on them, with the assistance of violent pornography, is an excellent way to let them grow to the point where somebody WOULD act on them.

I'm well aware that studies of rapists &amp; murderers don't necessarily prove the link between violent pornography &amp; violent/sexual crimes. So let's expand the study. Let's take a look at a few more groups of people:

- Murderers/rapists who have never used violent pornography
- Everyday citizens who have used violent pornography
- Everyday citizens who have never used violent pornography

I'd bet money that if you expanded the study to include those groups, you'd find the following:

- The majority of murderers &amp; rapists have used violent pornography.
- Everyday citizens who use violent pornography are more likely to commit violent/sexual crimes.

It's not merely a correlation. If you wanted to do a study of the effect of peanut butter on people, you'd have to include the other three groups as well. So you'd have four groups:

- Murderers/rapists who have used peanut butter
- Murderers/rapists who have never used peanut butter
- Everyday citizens who have used peanut butter
- Everyday citizens who have never used peanut butter

If you did that study, most likely you'd find that peanut butter has no affect whatsoever on people's tendencies to commit violent/sexual crimes.

Keep in mind here that I'm specifically talking about violent pornography, not your simple nudity &amp; dick &amp; jane fvcking each other in an elevator. I'm talking about the really sick stuff. The kind of stuff that would fuel the fantasies formed by human nature.

My logic may not be as flawed as you think. Let's do another study, this time of car crashes. Let's say that our study showed that out of 1,000 car wrecks, 700 were influenced by drugs, alcohol, or some combination of the two. Wouldn't it be fairly logical to conclude that drugs &amp; alcohol contribute to the likelihood of being in a car wreck? To be fair, you'd have to also do the before study... Take 1,000 people, get half of them drunk, &amp; send them all home. And then see how many of them get in wrecks on the way home. But to do that would endanger the lives of hundreds of people. We don't have the liberty of performing a controlled study of the effects of violent pornography. We have to draw our conclusions from the evidence that we have.

My comment about &quot;no stopping it&quot; was obviously a generalization. Most people CAN stop at some point in time. Just like you said, many maintain a set level or quit. But what about those that don't? What about those that can't control their addiction &amp; urges, &amp; keep getting deeper &amp; deeper in. Wouldn't they be better off if they'd never started? I'm not trying to imply that everyone who looks at violent pornography will go out &amp; commit rape &amp; then murder. Most won't. But if it increases your odds by even 1%... Why would you do it?

Your so-called &quot;treatment(s)&quot; for violent behavior are not treating the real issue. The real issue is that human nature is evil. You, me, everyone. By nature we are not good. Most of us manage to control it to one extent or another. But if we insist on feeding &amp; nurturing that nature, rather than suppressing &amp; strangling it... We run the risk of losing control. Is it Ted Bundy's fault that he committed his crimes? ABSOLUTELY. But the fault started a long time before he committed his first murder. The fault started when he began feeding the desire to commit violence. The violent pornography was the food. He ate it willingly.

Viper GTS
 
I'm well aware that studies of rapists &amp; murderers don't necessarily prove the link between violent pornography &amp; violent/sexual crimes. So let's expand the study. Let's take a look at a few more groups of people:

- Murderers/rapists who have never used violent pornography
- Everyday citizens who have used violent pornography
- Everyday citizens who have never used violent pornography

I'd bet money that if you expanded the study to include those groups, you'd find the following:

- The majority of murderers &amp; rapists have used violent pornography.
- Everyday citizens who use violent pornography are more likely to commit violent/sexual crimes.

You would be happy and dissapointed. These studies have been done (1000's of them). When a meta analysis of all of them is done what shows up is that violent porn DOES affect behavior. But...it is barely a statistically significant AND its a fleeting effect. Some things we think ought to be true just are not.

For clarification, the affect might be 1% worse than the control group. but (!) the effect is fleeting. 3 days later with no porn and the 1% goes away. Hardly a huge find.

I applaud your knowledge of systematic procedures to discover the truth. If you wanted to find more, the answers can be found at any large university in PsychLit. The specific journal are JPSP, Journal of Social and Personalilty Psychology, Personality, Behavioral Modification etc.,

Too often people take what they think to be true and forget that there are people out there spending their lives trying to answer the questions that we all have. Folklore and mysticism clouds our judgment too.

Segue: A classic example of this is the belief that 10% of people are gay. I taught psychology for years and taught the 10% number until a student challenged me to produce evidence that it was correct. To find that 10% number I had to go back to 1950 and the Kinsey reports. Since then, no reputable study has found greater than 4% for men and 3% for women. Even cross culturally, across cultures where sexuality isn't quite as stifled as it is in America.
The 10% is a mystical number that people tend to remember and spout as gospel.

There have been 4 major sex surveys in the past 2 decades and all 4 support the idea that way less than 5% are gay. Will the majority of people belive this? No. They like to hang onto what is familiar and politically correct.

Anther example is differences in abilities. Many people would have us believe that all people are equal. Not just in human rights, where I agree they should be, but in physical ability. Those people grimace when they find that 93% of track and field endurance events (anything over 400M) are held by people whose ancestors came from one relatively small geographical area in Africa. Racist? No. Fact. Yet another example of how people fail to look at the truth becuase it doens't make common or political sense.
 
Let's say that our study showed that out of 1,000 car wrecks, 700 were influenced by drugs, alcohol, or some combination of the two. Wouldn't it be fairly logical to conclude that drugs &amp; alcohol contribute to the likelihood of being in a car wreck? To be fair, you'd have to also do the before study... Take 1,000 people, get half of them drunk, &amp; send them all home. And then see how many of them get in wrecks on the way home. But to do that would endanger the lives of hundreds of people. We don't have the liberty of performing a controlled study of the effects of violent pornography. We have to draw our conclusions from the evidence that we have.

Whew, um...if you start out with the premise that alcohol and drugs INFLUENCE car wrecks...um why do the study. In doing the study we seek to determine a causal relationship. When you start with that premise you elimanate the need for a study.

Your analogy is flawed because you have not established that porn is harmful. Here, porn is not alcohol. One we know is bad, the other we don't. You asserting something that has been pretty much disproven as to the extent that you are claiming.
 
Greg,

I never said that Porn caused Ted Bundy to do that. I said that He was involved and that is how it proceeded for him. Listen to that audio file I posted. Its about 50 minutes long, and only 6MB or so.
 
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