Is being a loner not allowed in the digital age?

[slackerinabox]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately - aside from my wife and our kid, I've grown to not really enjoy the company of others that much. I have my own hobbies and pursuits but don't enjoy what seems to be the norm these days around me - I'm pretty much a loner, but not a scary one but a "I prefer chasing my 20 month old vs. driving your drunk self home" one. I also find yuppie parents in NYC absolutely dreadfully boring with their over protective ways and dull conversations - basically, it's not them but I'm a loner.

10 years ago calling yourself a loner wouldn't be a big deal but now I feel like you're just not allowed anymore - with facebook and even emails it feels like the reach of my acquaintances is longer than I'd like. Of course the solution is to quit facebook but that's not my question - do you feel that social media has made being a loner unnecessarily difficult these days and the stigma much worse?

 

[coldmeat]

You have no idea what being a loner means.

 

[purbeast0]

who gives a shit about what people other than your family thinks about you? sounds like you have some self esteem issues if it bothers you that much.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

If anything it is less acceptable. Some people treat Facebook like it is their primary form of communication, and neglecting them (by being a "loner" online) is seen as rude. Of course, I think your definition of the word varies from that which most people would use, that being a loner defined as someone with no friends. For the purposes of the word, a wife kind of negates the loner thing.

EDIT: lol, I completely misread the title in the op. :$

 

[IndyColtsFan]

I'm kind of that way too. Forced socialization at work is what really sucks. I just want them to leave me alone and let me do my job.

 

[KeithTalent]

I'm kind of that way too. Forced socialization at work is what really sucks. I just want them to leave me alone and let me do my job.

Ugh, definitely this. I have a couple of buddies I chat about sports/gambling/fantasy with, but aside from that...please leave me alone.

KT

 

[Red Storm]

Uh, you have a wife and kid. You're no loner.

 

[zinfamous]

you are a homebody.


not a loner.

 

[slackerinabox]

I'm kind of that way too. Forced socialization at work is what really sucks. I just want them to leave me alone and let me do my job.

YES. If that's not a loner what are we called? After work Happy Hour is my biggest enemy...

 

[IndyColtsFan]

YES. If that's not a loner what are we called? After work Happy Hour is my biggest enemy...

I may be married, but I consider myself a loner. I have one friend here who I go out to lunch with frequently but he is leaving the company and I'll be on my own. To make matters worse, this place is like a fraternity/sorority and they never miss a chance to incorporate forced socialization. I finally gave up all appearances and don't even bother showing up for most things unless they are absolutely required and even then I'll try to find an excuse. We have a staff retreat next month and since I don't give a crap about this place and want out, I may just call in that day.

 

[HardcoreRobot]

no one says you have to socialize with or even like your coworkers. but to not have any friends outside of work is probably not healthy.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

no one says you have to socialize with or even like your coworkers. but to not have any friends outside of work is probably not healthy.

They pretty much try to force you to socialize with your coworkers here.

 

[stlcardinals]

YES. If that's not a loner what are we called? After work Happy Hour is my biggest enemy...

It's called being an Introvert being forced to live up to the expectations of Extroverts.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

It's called being an Introvert being forced to live up to the expectations of Extroverts.

Very well said. Their excuse is always "We want to get you out of your 'comfort' zone."

 

[KeithTalent]

It's called being an Introvert being forced to live up to the expectations of Extroverts.

Mmm, indeed.

KT

 

[RedRooster]

I just plain hate people nowadays, but feel I'm an especially friendly guy. You can all go to hell though.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Very well said. Their excuse is always "We want to get you out of your 'comfort' zone."

So they're basically coming out and saying that the goal is to make you uncomfortable. If being uncomfortable is somehow good they should be fine with you punching them in the face occasionally so they can join you in discomfort.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

They pretty much try to force you to socialize with your coworkers here.

So? Forced socialization at work should not be an anathema to developing friendships outside of work. "I was forced to talk to people at work today, so in my spare hours, everyone can FUCK OFF!" That's a little over-the-top. I'm not huge into socialization myself, but I still see friends on occasion to play pool or hang out and watch a game. Maintaining some basic human contact is important.

 

[Oyeve]

Your wife should always be your best friend.

 

[Atomic Playboy]

Your wife should always be your best friend.

But not your only one.

 

[pwoz]

http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-In...keywords=quiet

Read it.

 

[MustISO]

I've always considered myself a loner. I socialize a little while at work but hardly any outside of work. Have a wife, no kids. We are both very similar in the fact that we don't like to socialize a lot so we do most things just the two of us.

 

[Vic Vega]

I don't have a MyTwitFace+ account and don't want one.

I'd rather be in my garage wrenching or in my office working or on my boat sailing than spending time with the average primitive screw head walking around.

 

[Midwayman]

It's called being an Introvert being forced to live up to the expectations of Extroverts.

Ahhh yes. I remember well the constant pestering in my childhood to go interact with people. The majority of people out there are extrovert and just can't comprehend how social situations can be so draining for some people.

 

[Puppies04]