Is being a loner not allowed in the digital age?

[HamburgerBoy]

It is. Most of the things people say are bullshit.

I should clarify and state that bullshit I mean people spouting off about things they clearly know nothing about, not friendly bantering bullshit as in "Yo dog wat you up to?", but since the latter isn't a thought so much as it is a greeting or just throwing something out there to try and start a conversation, it should be obvious that I meant the former.

 

[IndyColtsFan]

But communicating with them on internet forums does? Social interaction is social interaction. The only advantages of internet forums are that you get time to formulate your thoughts and don't typically have to worry about consequences. Put another way, they can compensate for one's lack of social ability.

Disagree. A big advantage of Internet forums is that you typically get to interact with people who have like interests. I'd wager most people came to AT because they're interested in computers, video games, IT, etc. So, as a group, we have a lot of common interests we can discuss.

Contrast that to my workplace. Accounting/finance reports to the same VP that IT does, and we're forced to socialize with them in super lame "team building" (aka forced socialization) exercises. I have nothing in common with folks in accounting and it is extremely rare for me to even have to work with them at all. It is a complete and total waste of time.

There's actually nothing wrong with my social skills - I can talk to people without issue, be friendly, etc. However, I'd much rather just sit at my desk, do my job, and go home at night. My workplace is like a sorority/fraternity with a bunch of idiots who constantly push things like "social committee" events and consider that a sign of "leadership." I don't take any of them seriously and think they need more work to do.

 

[BoomerD]

you are a homebody.


not a loner.

He could be a bit of both.

I've been married longer than most people on these boards have been alive...yet outside my wife, I rarely associate with any people.

I've always been an "introvert" without actually knowing that was why I preferred to be alone rather than in the company of other people.

I'm not "socially awkward" or even "socially phobic" like so many here, I just don't like people...and prefer not to deal with them any more often than necessary.

 

[Dominato3r]

Nope... You are now required to have at least 80 friends on Facebook and Twitter or we'll think you are a weirdo.

You'll also soon be required to watch American Idol and download Taylor Swift songs from iTunes or we'll think you're with the terrorists

You listen to Taylor Swift regardless as her music is both endearing and enduring :thumbsup:

 

[Pr0d1gy]

I think being a loner is a lot easier to avoid in this day and age.

 

[DAPUNISHER]

What the hell is this "not allowed" nonsense?

There are a handful of humans I will hang out with simply for their company. Everyone else is an activity friend. That is, I only hang out with them when we are engaged in the activity we participate in together.

Otherwise -

 

[Vdubchaos]

OP you are perfectly normal

I've always considered myself a loner. I socialize a little while at work but hardly any outside of work. Have a wife, no kids. We are both very similar in the fact that we don't like to socialize a lot so we do most things just the two of us.

Same here and most people I see do the same.

Looking up and down my street almost NOBODY has friends that come over on even weekly basis or goes out much AT ALL.

Most people like the comfort of their own home and don't go out much. Not only that, it's expensive to go out!!! (especially when you have kids).

I tend to call my self "stay at home type", I simply enjoy the comfort of my own home and have a great wife/4 kids that keep me company. They also have friends and I do too, but in general people just annoy me. When we do go out we enjoy places that are not overpopulated. State parks/nature/walks and we do play plenty of sports etc. Anything peaceful and quiet. We simply HATE cities or your major tourism traps.

Just like money, more "people" more problems. Fact that I had a TON of shitty friends/people in my young life doesn't really help.

Most people that meet me think I'm an outgoing/friendly/popular person. I get along with just about anyone at work/neighbors etc just fine.

I guess you can call me a loaner, but I like it this way. It's what makes me happy!

And no I never had and will never have a facebook account.

 

[BurnItDwn]

OP, you're an introvert.
Something like 40% of the popluation is in the same boat.

I rarely go out after work with the gang, I much prefer going home and spending the evening with my fiance at home, reading, watching movies, gaming, etc.

I don't do facebook, I hate all social obligations. I like message boards and txt messaging because I don't feel obligated to txt or post.

 

[Jeff7]

But communicating with them on internet forums does? Social interaction is social interaction. The only advantages of internet forums are that you get time to formulate your thoughts and don't typically have to worry about consequences. Put another way, they can compensate for one's lack of social ability.

I don't mind legitimate introverts, it's people bullshitting themselves that make me facepalm.

A forum, or most means of text-based communication, acts as a buffer, and a filter. It's also got an instant OFF option.
Tired of a conversation? Close the tab.

Want to get attention? Post a delightful pome. :sneaky:

 

[lupi]

I think you misspelled "loser".

 

[Doppel]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately - aside from my wife and our kid, I've grown to not really enjoy the company of others that much. I have my own hobbies and pursuits but don't enjoy what seems to be the norm these days around me - I'm pretty much a loner, but not a scary one but a "I prefer chasing my 20 month old vs. driving your drunk self home" one. I also find yuppie parents in NYC absolutely dreadfully boring with their over protective ways and dull conversations - basically, it's not them but I'm a loner.

10 years ago calling yourself a loner wouldn't be a big deal but now I feel like you're just not allowed anymore - with facebook and even emails it feels like the reach of my acquaintances is longer than I'd like. Of course the solution is to quit facebook but that's not my question - do you feel that social media has made being a loner unnecessarily difficult these days and the stigma much worse?

Based on your description most people I know are fairly lonerish and those who aren't probably don't even spend enough time with their family.