Instead of flowers, give your S.O. a bulk beef bouquet

[brainhulk]

Larger than an alternator, cheaper than flowers

 

[highland145]

Wife asked what I was getting her. Reminded her that I skipped the gym Tuesday to take her to the doc in a box because she had a 103 fever.

I sleep pretty well in the recliner.

 

[Kaido]

My wife got me an awesome heart-shaped box of jerky instead of chocolates this year, what a great idea! Well, I've never actually gotten a box of chocolates on Valentine's day before, sooooo...but I got jerky! lol

 

[Stopsignhank]

I have been married for 30 years and we just moved into a new house. My wife wanted a new toilet and it gets delivered today. She is delighted!!!

 

[highland145]

I have been married for 30 years and we just moved into a new house. My wife wanted a new toilet and it gets delivered today. She is delighted!!!

A woman that appreciates the important things.

 

[local]

We skip this holiday, always have. We exchanged the standard hug this morning as I left for work.

 

[pcgeek11]

I have been married for 30 years and we just moved into a new house. My wife wanted a new toilet and it gets delivered today. She is delighted!!!

Is the new shitter heart shaped?

 

[OccamsToothbrush]

I asked my GF if she wanted a big piece of beef for Valentines Day and wound up sleeping on the couch for a week.

 

[highland145]

I asked my GF if she wanted a big piece of beef for Valentines Day and wound up sleeping on the couch for a week.

Well, you did show up with a cocktail wiener.

 

[Muadib]

Well, you did show up with a cocktail wiener.

Harsh, but I love it!

 

[killster1]

i buy my wife chocolates and dozen roses every week already, just threw her a hundred $ bill and said if she wants more flowers she is welcome to buy more or just keep the 100. she was happy and gave me a good gift too!

 

[WelshBloke]

I got a bottle of brandy!

 

[EliteRetard]

I tried to teach my friends how to cook a good meal for valentines day...it came out OK.

I got to eat the scraps

 

[Ichinisan]

We skip this holiday, always have. We exchanged the standard hug this morning as I left for work.

She is seething with suppressed rage.

 

[DigDog]

i just made the most mind-blowing boeuf bourguignonne and yet i'm single. *sad*

 

[Muadib]

i just made the most mind-blowing boeuf bourguignonne and yet i'm single. *sad*

Never met a woman who was into stew. Is that popular there?

 

[local]

She is seething with suppressed rage.

Possibly, but 17 years in and it is still capped. If it blows it might take us all out at this point.

 

[DigDog]

Never met a woman who was into stew. Is that popular there?

obviously, no.

 

[OccamsToothbrush]

Never met a woman who was into stew.

That's why Frenchies call it bœuf bourguignon rather than stew.

 

[MrSquished]

In a Greek Cypriot group on FB that I'm in that's exactly how they roll

 

[Exterous]

i buy my wife chocolates and dozen roses every week already, just threw her a hundred $ bill and said if she wants more flowers she is welcome to buy more or just keep the 100. she was happy and gave me a good gift too!

Why?

 

[killster1]

Why?

why what? why do i buy her chocolates and roses every week? i dunno they look and smell nice around the house? /me confused

 

[snoopy7548]

why what? why do i buy her chocolates and roses every week? i dunno they look and smell nice around the house? /me confused

I think he means, why do you have to pay your wife for sex?

 

[killster1]

I think he means, why do you have to pay your wife for sex?

who said i pay for sex? its both of our money (not like its all my money) the money was for a gift of more flowers if she wanted or to use some other way. we do it 2 or 3 times a day regardless of the day or any other circumstance, she gave me a interval timer and a shirt for my gift (her gifts are strange but ITS OK)

 

[Commodus]

My partner is South African, so I suspect she'd be delighted if I'd turned up with a biltong bouquet (it's vaguely like jerky, but more tender, thicker and not smoked).

As it stands, we're neither big on Valentine's Day nor eager to fight the crowds, so we stayed in, ordered from our favorite eatery and opened a delicious bottle of wine (2017 Casillero del Diablo cab sauv Primera Riserva, to be exact).