In christianity, is pooping, farting, etc. immoral? :)

[Phokus]

This gave me a big LOL

Q: In Christianity, is pooping/farting/etc. moral?

A: There are many possible ways to answer this question. However, from a Christian perspective, most scholars would agree that it is not moral to poop and/or fart. This presents an interesting dilemma, since pooping and farting are physiological requirements of being a human... there's just no way to avoid it! The thing to remember is that we all fall short of the glory of God and that we all are sinners in need of redemption. The fact that we all poop and fart is just further proof of this.

Q: Did humans always poop and fart?

A: No. It is generally agreed that before the Fall from Grace, the digestive systems of human beings were perfect machines. When we ate food and drank liquids, our bodies were able to process all of the material with perfect efficiency, leaving no waste products to be removed. However, after Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, humans lost their perfection. Part of this process included the digestive system losing its ability to process food with 100% efficiency. Shortly after the successful temptation of Eve by Satan, over 6,000 years of human pooping and farting began.

Q: What about peeing?

A: Peeing is an excretory function and is just as immoral as pooping and farting.

Q: Why are the sexual organs used to pee?

A: To reinforce the evils of sex. If we are mindful of the fact that peeing is awful and immoral, then we are also mindful of the fact that other activities that involve the same organs are also awful and immoral. The Lord does not want these organs exposed to anybody (not even to yourself) and He certainly does not want them inserted into anybody, unless it can be demonstrated that a child is the intended result. Pursuant to this, it is necessary to remind each and every one of God's children that pooping, peeing, and sex are all evil, as are the sexual organs.

Q: If I am in church and I have to poop, what should I do?

A: Hold it! The fact that some misguided denominations have installed toilets in their churches does not mean that those toilets should be used! Can you imagine how impudent it is to sit down and void your bowels in a house of the Lord? Again, we must be very clear about this: We all poop, and there is no avoiding this. However, we are not mongrels with no control over our bodily functions! If you have to poop, fart, or pee, then hold it until you are in the privacy of your own home and there are no negative moral ramifications to your excretory actions!

We believe that toilets should be removed from all churches. If a voluntary request is not enough to make this happen, then we would support federal legislation banning certain types of plumbing from within 30 cubits of a church.

Q: When should I tell my children about pooping?

A: Well, obviously, they start doing it the day that they are born. They don't have to be taught how to do it. But there does come a time when children have to be taught about the immorality of pooping, farting, and peeing. Most experts suggest that the age of 6 or 7 is a good time for this lesson. This is the time when most children are apt to start experimenting with "pull my finger" games and other forms of Satanism.

 

[XMan]

Let me guess . . . Landover Baptist?

 

[Phokus]

Originally posted by: X-Man
Let me guess . . . Landover Baptist?

Could be, someone posted this on another message board.

 

[davee]

its considered flatulent by the catholic church

 

[Chrishuff1]

By far the STUPIDEST thread I've ever read.

 

[Eli]

Is that for real? LMAO!

 

[theNEOone]

Lol, that's hilarious. Devout Christians crack me up. My mom is one, so you can image all the fun I have when I go home for break.


WAIT WAIT, the funniest part:

"....Part of this process included the digestive system losing its ability to process food with 100% efficiency...."

and

"....We believe that toilets should be removed from all churches. If a voluntary request is not enough to make this happen, then we would support federal legislation banning certain types of plumbing from within 30 cubits of a church...."

That is just too funny.

 

[ViperXX]

Half way through reading your post I farted. Forgive me for I sinned.

 

[edro]

Q: If I am in church and I have to poop, what should I do?

A: Hold it! The fact that some misguided denominations have installed toilets in their churches does not mean that those toilets should be used! Can you imagine how impudent it is to sit down and void your bowels in a house of the Lord? Again, we must be very clear about this: We all poop, and there is no avoiding this. However, we are not mongrels with no control over our bodily functions! If you have to poop, fart, or pee, then hold it until you are in the privacy of your own home and there are no negative moral ramifications to your excretory actions!

Bahahahahahha!

 

[Krk3561]

Link?

 

[Afro000Dude]

I find it hilarious when these devout Christians read a bunch of crap into the Bible. Where does it say "God created Man, but he did not poop, fart, pee, or look at his genitals"? This is ridiculous! I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with Christianity or any other religion, but to make this stuff up is stupid! Just because the founder of some church or religion disliked farting, pooping, etc. now it is immoral and Satanic to fart? I think there should be a nationwide "Fart in Church Day" just for these people!

 

[Red Dawn]

Originally posted by: Afro000Dude
I find it hilarious when these devout Christians read a bunch of crap into the Bible. Where does it say "God created Man, but he did not poop, fart, pee, or look at his genitals"? This is ridiculous! I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with Christianity or any other religion, but to make this stuff up is stupid! Just because the founder of some church or religion disliked farting, pooping, etc. now it is immoral and Satanic to fart? I think there should be a nationwide "Fart in Church Day" just for these people!

As much as I disagree with Fundies I deriously doubt this is true. Must be Landover Baptist Church..or the 700 Club

 

[Stratum9]

Q: Did humans always poop and fart?

A: No. It is generally agreed that before the Fall from Grace, the digestive systems of human beings were perfect machines. When we ate food and drank liquids, our bodies
were able to process all of the material with perfect efficiency, leaving no waste products to be removed. However, after Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, humans lost their perfection. Part of this process included the digestive system losing its ability to process food with 100% efficiency. Shortly after the successful temptation of Eve by Satan, over 6,000 years of human pooping and farting began.

So the question now is this: Did Adam and Eve have anal sphincters before The Fall?

If they did, then god knew they would sin and then there would be a need for anal sphincters. If he were truely creating PERFECT beings, then why this sort of forethought? It's the same as building a boat and intentionally putting a hole in it before setting sail.

If they didn't have anal sphincters, then why doesn't the bible say anything about changing Adam and Eve's physiological make up in this regard?

 

[stmurphy]

Is this satire? If not, it is just about the dumbest and most erroneous things I have ever read.

Welcome to our forums!

I hope you have fun here.

Keep in mind the thread you responded to is 20 years old.

Iron Woode
Super Moderator

 

[Pohemi]

Is this satire? If not, it is just about the dumbest and most erroneous things I have ever read.

Know what's dumber? Your comment being a 20 year thread necro.

 

[MrSquished]

When right wing Christians talk, all that's really happening is farting and shitting from the mouth anyway. It's all they do.

 

[VirtualLarry]

Wow, talk about abject stupidity.

Edit: There's a passage in the Bible, in which Jesus refers indirectly to the human digestive tract and pooping, He talks about watching what we "ingest" into our Hearts, as being more important than what we ingest into our Mouths, as that just comes back out again. (I'm paraphrasing here.)

So if Jesus was cool with Pooping, I am too!

Edit: Found it.

Bible Gateway passage: Matthew 15:11-20 - English Standard Version

it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.” Then the disciples came and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?” He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not...

www.biblegateway.com

 

[stmurphy]

Know what's dumber? Your comment being a 20 year thread necro.

Don't look now derp, but you just did too. Know what is even dumber? You bothering to post a comment. Who cares about the age of the thread? There is no expiration date on the topic. But thanks for playing derp you can pick up your participation trophy on your way out. You can add it to your already large collection.

 

[Pohemi]

Don't look now derp, but you just did too. Know what is even dumber? You bothering to post a comment. Who cares about the age of the thread? There is no expiration date on the topic. But thanks for playing derp you can pick up your participation trophy on your way out. You can add it to your already large collection.

This one is strong with the projection.
You necro'd a 20 year old thread. I replied 4 minutes later. I didn't necro it, that was all you.
Your logic needs some work, but you won't last long here starting out on this foot.

 

[brianmanahan]

ok real non-necro talk

i grew up with some pastor's kids who were told not to say "fart" by their parents, because it was a swear word

instead of fart, they were told to say "boof"

so they would make say things about how someone was boofing, or that they boofed earlier

 

[brianmanahan]

Is this satire? If not, it is just about the dumbest and most erroneous things I have ever read.

thus saith saint murphy, patron saint of poop and farts

 

[WelshBloke]

Is this satire? If not, it is just about the dumbest and most erroneous things I have ever read.

 

[stmurphy]

This one is strong with the projection.
You necro'd a 20 year old thread. I replied 4 minutes later. I didn't necro it, that was all you.
Your logic needs some work, but you won't last long here starting out on this foot.

I repeat, too bad I can't write it in crayon so you could read it, but what is the big deal about the age of the thread? Does the question or topic become invalid given a certain period of time. You seem to obsess about the most stupid of things derp, did you use to go to special school on a short bus?

 

[Pohemi]

I repeat, too bad I can't write it in crayon so you could read it, but what is the big deal about the age of the thread? Does the question or topic become invalid given a certain period of time. You seem to obsess about the most stupid of things derp, did you use to go to special school on a short bus?

Calling stupid what it is doesn't equate to obsessing.
The "big deal" (your words, not mine) is that your first post on the forums was a pointless remark in a twenty year old thread about religious poop. I'm honestly a little curious how you dug it up. Were you searching for the terms, 'poop' and/or 'fart'?

Now you are reacting like a petulant teenager. Okay then...have fun saying 'derp'.

 

[IronWing]

WWYBYWB? Not that we can’t guess.