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Impending Custody Battle to move out of State

GiggleGirl

GiggleGirl

Golden Member
im moving out of state. well, im going to try. im going to be taking my daughter with me.
there is currently in effect legal paperwork requiring a court order for either parent (myself or daughters father) to remove her from the state...
does anyone have any knowledge about where to start this process or to whom i go to in order to start the legal process of getting this court order?
i dont have a lot of money, what are my options in terms of getting a lawyer for free or cheap?

has anyone had to file for physical custody before? has anyone moved away from the other parent and taken the child with?

advice or information is appreciated
 
Most states have some kind of free/cheap public legal assistance. You qualify based on your income. Make too much and you can't sign up for it. In Alaska it was called Alaska Legal Services and it was where lawyers went to serve their pro-bono hours. There's probably some version of it in your area.

That said, if dad is cooperative then it shouldn't be a big deal. If he's going to fight then you'll need a lawyer and the money to pay him/her/it.
 
yea im going to be met with great opposition in the matter. partially because hes going to want to make it hard for me.
i guess i need to do some google searching
 
yea hes definitely not a lawyer. dammit.
if only there were cheaper ways to whisk your children away.... lol

anyone else with previous experiences? your feats would be helpful to me...
 
Going to play devils advocatee here....

Why should you be able to whisk HIS child away? It's his child too, not just yours.

Too often I see a mans rights trampled all over in situations regarding kids after a divorce or whatever.
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Going to play devils advocatee here....

Why should you be able to whisk HIS child away? It's his child too, not just yours.

Too often I see a mans rights trampled all over in situations regarding kids after a divorce or whatever.
Click to expand...

well to be quite honest, i postponed doing this for almost 3 years because i was too worried about him.
there are many reasons that i want to leave the state and take our child with me. most of them have to do with better opportunities and familial support where I am planning to move. Currently I pretty much care for our child mostly by myself. I am better able to provide her with the things she needs and I will be most successful in doing so where I have more family, wider job opportunities and better schools for our daughter.
She has a speech delay/impairment and the school systems in our current town pale in comparison to my desired destination. The family her father has to help him with her are not very healthy or clean and that environment worries me. I fear a terrible lack of excellent education here and I disapprove greatly how dirty and unclean her grandparents home is.
Her father is very selfish and impatient. He is more concerned with playing tennis and philandering about with his girlfriend than the care of our child and through repeated incidents, he shows this behavior frequently. Also, many of the times I have our child, she comes to me with skin afflictions, sickness, and a heap of destructive behaviors that i have to "undo" while she is in my home.

theres more, if you really want to know.... i keep a running log
 
Okay then I can see a reason for it at least.

If he was a good father, that wouldn't be a cool thing to do to him, but still tough situation.
 
Originally posted by: OdiN
Okay then I can see a reason for it at least.

If he was a good father, that wouldn't be a cool thing to do to him, but still tough situation.
Click to expand...

its not that hes a bad father... he loves our daughter, thats clear. he is capable of caring for her. its just, i can do it better and i do do it better. and i need to be able to live somewhere where i have family and support. im alone here. no one can succeed and raise a child all alone.
 
Your profile says you live in Florida & I'm not sure how the law works there, but here in Connecticut joint-custody of a child can't be used to prevent a parent from moving out of state for several specific reasons including seeking better employment.

Note however that a reasonable visitation schedule must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand & a Judge must sign off on the agreement which very likely will include a substantial portion of the year with your daughter living with Dad unless you can prove he's an unfit parent.

 
Originally posted by: GiggleGirl
im moving out of state. well, im going to try. im going to be taking my daughter with me.
there is currently in effect legal paperwork requiring a court order for either parent (myself or daughters father) to remove her from the state...
does anyone have any knowledge about where to start this process or to whom i go to in order to start the legal process of getting this court order?
i dont have a lot of money, what are my options in terms of getting a lawyer for free or cheap?

has anyone had to file for physical custody before? has anyone moved away from the other parent and taken the child with?

advice or information is appreciated
Click to expand...

I have been through this in California.
If there is currently paperwork in effect that says the other party must agree before you can takew the child out of state, then you are screwed! The other party must say YES for you to take the child out of state.
No high priced lawyer will be able to change that fact!

You SOL!!
 
Originally posted by: Captante
Your profile says you live in Florida & I'm not sure how the law works there, but here in Connecticut joint-custody of a child can't be used to prevent a parent from moving out of state for several specific reasons including seeking better employment.

Note however that a reasonable visitation schedule must be agreed upon by both parties beforehand & a Judge must sign off on the agreement which very likely will include a substantial portion of the year with your daughter living with Dad unless you can prove he's an unfit parent.
Click to expand...

You are correc t the PARENT can move out of state but the child must stay in the state with the other party!
 
no it says that a court order is required. and people leave present living locations all the time with their children. usually whomever has the best case, wins.
my mom took my siblings and i away from our father back in the day, from Florida to Massachusetts in 1997.
im going to have to clearly state my case in front of a judge and bring all the evidence to back up my wishes and hope that he sees things in my favor.
 
Originally posted by: JEDIYoda


You are correc t the PARENT can move out of state but the child must stay in the state with the other party!
Click to expand...


I don't know about California, but in Connecticut one parent is always granted primary physical custody (even in joint-custody agreements) & that parent cannot be prevented from moving out of state by the other.



After a quick Google-search & a little reading I found this information:

No presumption shall arise in favor of or against a request to relocate when a primary residential parent seeks to move the child and the move will materially affect the current schedule of contact and access with the secondary residential parent. In making a determination as to whether the primary residential parent may relocate with a child, the court must consider the following factors: 1. Whether the move would be likely to improve the general quality of life for both the residential parent and the child. 2. The extent to which visitation rights have been allowed and exercised. 3. Whether the primary residential parent, once out of the jurisdiction, will be likely to comply with any substitute visitation arrangements. 4. Whether the substitute visitation will be adequate to foster a continuing meaningful relationship between the child and the secondary residential parent. 5. Whether the cost of transportation is financially affordable by one or both parties. 6. Whether the move is in the best interests of the child. (Florida Statutes - Chapters: 61.13)


I'm no expert but it sounds to me like theres no set policy in place for these circumstances & they are handeled on a case by case basis ... if the OP is being objective in what she's telling us then in my opinion she'll have a decent chance of making the move happen based on factor #1 provided she gets herself a decent lawyer.

 
thank you for finding that, im going to use that as a starting guideline in making my case. ill find information and "evidence" that these factors will be fulfilled in my moving.

thanks
 
Originally posted by: GiggleGirl
yea hes definitely not a lawyer. dammit.
if only there were cheaper ways to whisk your children away.... lol

anyone else with previous experiences? your feats would be helpful to me...
Click to expand...

i don't see how LOL is appropriate in anyway when you are talking about taking a mans daughter to another state against his wishes.

custody battles there is rarely a right and wrong party but seriously, has this guy harmed your daughter? does he abuse her? does he never come to see her?

if he is a half decent father, i don't understand this cavalier attitude about taking his daughter to another state to live.

 
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: GiggleGirl
yea hes definitely not a lawyer. dammit.
if only there were cheaper ways to whisk your children away.... lol

anyone else with previous experiences? your feats would be helpful to me...
Click to expand...

i don't see how LOL is appropriate in anyway when you are talking about taking a mans daughter to another state against his wishes.

custody battles there is rarely a right and wrong party but seriously, has this guy harmed your daughter? does he abuse her? does he never come to see her?

if he is a half decent father, i don't understand this cavalier attitude about taking his daughter to another state to live.
Click to expand...

thats your opinion, i was simply teasing at the costs of legal help.
anyways, parents have to do what is necessary to make sure their children are getting the best this world has to offer.
no there is no right or wring here, but there is a better. he doesnt directly harm or abuse her. his actions are not prevalent to a man who desires to do what is best for our child all the time. he is more concerned about playing tennis and satisfying his own needs than those of our child. He is responsible for her care for 3 days at most and AT LEAST one of these days, he pawns her off on his family. often times his irresponsibility and their lax care results in her being sick more frequently, her coming home to me with terrible rashes and even more frequent cuts, bruises, and bumps. i know these are common with children, especially mine but i can tell when there is an excess which leads me to only believe they are not keeping a watchful eye on her and are irresponsible in keeping her safe.
she doesnt need a half decent father, she needs an exceptional one. and while hes not fully taking care of his share of her care, i am stuck in a town where I am forced to DO EVERYTHING on my own, with no support or assistance from anyone. i do not have family or friends here.

anyways, im going to do what is best for our child, even if that means relocating so she can get the best there is out of everything
 
Originally posted by: GiggleGirl
Originally posted by: PlatinumGold
Originally posted by: GiggleGirl
yea hes definitely not a lawyer. dammit.
if only there were cheaper ways to whisk your children away.... lol

anyone else with previous experiences? your feats would be helpful to me...
Click to expand...

i don't see how LOL is appropriate in anyway when you are talking about taking a mans daughter to another state against his wishes.

custody battles there is rarely a right and wrong party but seriously, has this guy harmed your daughter? does he abuse her? does he never come to see her?

if he is a half decent father, i don't understand this cavalier attitude about taking his daughter to another state to live.
Click to expand...

thats your opinion, i was simply teasing at the costs of legal help.
anyways, parents have to do what is necessary to make sure their children are getting the best this world has to offer.
no there is no right or wring here, but there is a better. he doesnt directly harm or abuse her. his actions are not prevalent to a man who desires to do what is best for our child all the time. he is more concerned about playing tennis and satisfying his own needs than those of our child. He is responsible for her care for 3 days at most and AT LEAST one of these days, he pawns her off on his family. often times his irresponsibility and their lax care results in her being sick more frequently, her coming home to me with terrible rashes and even more frequent cuts, bruises, and bumps. i know these are common with children, especially mine but i can tell when there is an excess which leads me to only believe they are not keeping a watchful eye on her and are irresponsible in keeping her safe.
she doesnt need a half decent father, she needs an exceptional one. and while hes not fully taking care of his share of her care, i am stuck in a town where I am forced to DO EVERYTHING on my own, with no support or assistance from anyone. i do not have family or friends here.

anyways, im going to do what is best for our child, even if that means relocating so she can get the best there is out of everything
Click to expand...

I sure hope you have more than this to bring to court. A court of law needs more than your idea of what is best for the child. Before you tell your ex about your plans, you should document everything you consider to be neglect by him. Consult a lawyer and make sure you clearly understand your divorce agreement. Within that agreement will be how you approach this request. Also, if in that agreement he has certain financial responsibilities he's not living up to, you have legal recourse.

Frankly, unless he's a bad father, you're doing a major disservice to your child by taking her away. You getting a better job in another state is no replacement for a father regardless of how little he sees her. There are men and women in the armed forces that rarely see their kids. I wouldn't classify them as bad parents.



 
firstly, i have been documenting his indiscretions since well over a year ago. Even when we were "together" I was keeping a log of lax parenting and mishaps.
There is no divorce agreement because we have never been married. When we separated, we went through the legal process of establishing paternity through the courts and went to mediation to decide primary residency, child support, and visitation. He is paying child support but the amount they have determined is very very high. I have been giving him some of the money back so that he can afford to pay his mortgage. (I am in no way vindictive or trying to screw him over in any regard) The only major thing in the legal papers is that either parent must get a court order to remove the child from the state. Which is basically the process with which I am trying to begin.

You really have no ground to stand on saying that im doing her a major disservice by taking her away. Youre not taking into account the overall benefit to her the move would be. I have been doing research on education, employment, and even crime rates to back up my wish to relocate. According to Florida's laws, there are many factors that determine the outcome of relocation. I have been reading over these things and so far, I have evidence and information to back up each requirement

In reaching its decision regarding a proposed temporary or permanent relocation, the court shall evaluate all of the following factors:

(a) The nature, quality, extent of involvement, and duration of the child's relationship with the parent proposing to relocate with the child and with the nonrelocating parent, other persons, siblings, half-siblings, and other significant persons in the child's life.

(b) The age and developmental stage of the child, the needs of the child, and the likely impact the relocation will have on the child's physical, educational, and emotional development, taking into consideration any special needs of the child.

(c) The feasibility of preserving the relationship between the nonrelocating parent or other person and the child through substitute arrangements that take into consideration the logistics of contact, access, visitation, and time-sharing, as well as the financial circumstances of the parties; whether those factors are sufficient to foster a continuing meaningful relationship between the child and the nonrelocating parent or other person; and the likelihood of compliance with the substitute arrangements by the relocating parent once he or she is out of the jurisdiction of the court.

(d) The child's preference, taking into consideration the age and maturity of the child.

(e) Whether the relocation will enhance the general quality of life for both the parent seeking the relocation and the child, including, but not limited to, financial or emotional benefits or educational opportunities.

(f) The reasons of each parent or other person for seeking or opposing the relocation.

(g) The current employment and economic circumstances of each parent or other person and whether or not the proposed relocation is necessary to improve the economic circumstances of the parent or other person seeking relocation of the child.

(h) That the relocation is sought in good faith and the extent to which the objecting parent has fulfilled his or her financial obligations to the parent or other person seeking relocation, including child support, spousal support, and marital property and marital debt obligations.

(i) The career and other opportunities available to the objecting parent or objecting other person if the relocation occurs.
 
If you can show that you have employment and a better life for the child by being out-of-state, your chances are better.

Otherwise to the courts, it looks like you are just being vindictive.
Going to where family is with no job vs having employment and not family: Employment wins.

Child custody fights (which this will turn into) can be expensive.
Figure at least $100/hr and 20-40 hours of legal work for paperwork, meetings and court hearings if it is contested.
 
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
If you can show that you have employment and a better life for the child by being out-of-state, your chances are better.

Otherwise to the courts, it looks like you are just being vindictive.
Going to where family is with no job vs having employment and not family: Employment wins.

Child custody fights (which this will turn into) can be expensive.
Figure at least $100/hr and 20-40 hours of legal work for paperwork, meetings and court hearings if it is contested.
Click to expand...



Sound a bit conservative on both the hourly rate and the total number of hours required in my opinion, but its certainly in the ballpark.

OP whatever you do GET YOURSELF A LAWYER or theres a very good chance things won't go your way when this gets ugly. (and it will)

 
Originally posted by: Captante
Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
If you can show that you have employment and a better life for the child by being out-of-state, your chances are better.

Otherwise to the courts, it looks like you are just being vindictive.
Going to where family is with no job vs having employment and not family: Employment wins.

Child custody fights (which this will turn into) can be expensive.
Figure at least $100/hr and 20-40 hours of legal work for paperwork, meetings and court hearings if it is contested.
Click to expand...



Sound a bit conservative on both the hourly rate and the total number of hours required in my opinion, but its certainly in the ballpark.

OP whatever you do GET YOURSELF A LAWYER or theres a very good chance things won't go your way when this gets ugly. (and it will)
Click to expand...
where she is in Fla may affect the rate.

Small town vs big city.


That is why I preferenced the numbers with "at least"

 
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