Im popping the question tonight

[SethK28]

I've been dating my g/f for close to 3 years pretty much all through college. I KNOW she is the girl I want to marry. The problem lies in the fact that I have always told myself that I want to be self sufficient (have a job, be established) before I could ask anyone to marry me. I graduated in May and I have yet to land a job...........several interviews no offers as of late. I think thats it is just a matter of time before I land a job. I know she wants to marry me, all I have to do is ask. Here is where the dilema comes in, she is currently 4 hours away from me in grad school. I have tried but cannot find a job in the area where she is (South Georgia) and her father is very very traditional (southern baptist). I am afraid that if I ask for his permission to marry his daughter (without a job) he will not give me his blessing (very important to me and her to get this). Should I ask her anyway?

 

[sillymofo]

Yes.....

 

[Zim Hosein]

Should I ask her anyway?

IMO, yes and best of luck to you and your wife to be SethK28! :beer:

<-- Likes to think positive

 

[neonerd]

Go for it! Best of Luck to ya! :beer:

 

[Mandos]

Before you do, live with her for a little while. It can make a world of a difference, trust me.

 

[JMaster]

Originally posted by: Mandos
Before you do, live with her for a little while. It can make a world of a difference, trust me.

yeah especially because the rate of divorce is higher in couples that lived together before they got married.

 

[bobbybe01]

Before you do, live with her for a little while. It can make a world of a difference, trust me

Are you kidding me? And her father is a "traditional" southern baptist? Of course, she can make her own decisions. I don't think living together before marriage will make a difference if a couple divorces or not. How could it? Marriage, as you and I know, requires work.

This is my thought on this: if you want to make it work, it'll work. You can make it happen. In most traditional ceremonies there's the "rich or for poor, sickness and in health" (although I believe that marriage is meant to be forever, not just till death do you part, but that's another discussion) blah blah. You might be able to pick up a temp job for a while. If "financial security" was what it took to get married, I don't think there would be a lot of marriages. Love goes beyond all that crap. Deal with it, homes.

 

[SethK28]

Originally posted by: JMaster

Originally posted by: Mandos
Before you do, live with her for a little while. It can make a world of a difference, trust me.

yeah especially because the rate of divorce is higher in couples that lived together before they got married.

Yeah that isnt gonna happen, when she was attending the same school as I was we stayed with each other every night for about 4 months straight. I took marriage and family I know the stats about divorce rates and cohabitation and wouldnt go that road even if her dad allowed it.

 

[wkabel23]

Go for it.

 

[SethK28]

Originally posted by: bobbybe01

Before you do, live with her for a little while. It can make a world of a difference, trust me

Are you kidding me? And her father is a "traditional" southern baptist? Of course, she can make her own decisions. I don't think living together before marriage will make a difference if a couple divorces or not. How could it? Marriage, as you and I know, requires work.

This is my thought on this: if you want to make it work, it'll work. You can make it happen. In most traditional ceremonies there's the "rich or for poor, sickness and in health" (although I believe that marriage is meant to be forever, not just till death do you part, but that's another discussion) blah blah. You might be able to pick up a temp job for a while. If "financial security" was what it took to get married, I don't think there would be a lot of marriages. Love goes beyond all that crap. Deal with it, homes.

Well above all our love is really all that matters, however she is in grad school for another year, I am 35k in debt due to student loans. I dont want to be married and argue over finances....from what I understand this is a top 5 reason for an unsuccesful marriage. Her father already told her he knew that she was going to marry me and he was OK with that. The marriage wont happen for another 6 months-year and by that time I hope to be somewhat financially secure ( I think her dad will pay for her remaining school/expenses)

 

[cronos]

Originally posted by: SethK28
I've been dating my g/f for close to 3 years pretty much all through college. I KNOW she is the girl I want to marry. The problem lies in the fact that I have always told myself that I want to be self sufficient (have a job, be established) before I could ask anyone to marry me. I graduated in May and I have yet to land a job...........several interviews no offers as of late. I think thats it is just a matter of time before I land a job. I know she wants to marry me, all I have to do is ask. Here is where the dilema comes in, she is currently 4 hours away from me in grad school. I have tried but cannot find a job in the area where she is (South Georgia) and her father is very very traditional (southern baptist). I am afraid that if I ask for his permission to marry his daughter (without a job) he will not give me his blessing (very important to me and her to get this). Should I ask her anyway?

go for it, and be happy!

 

[bobbybe01]

Well above all our love is really all that matters, however she is in grad school for another year, I am 35k in debt due to student loans. I dont want to be married and argue over finances....from what I understand this is a top 5 reason for an unsuccesful marriage. Her father already told her he knew that she was going to marry me and he was OK with that. The marriage wont happen for another 6 months-year and by that time I hope to be somewhat financially secure ( I think her dad will pay for her remaining school/expenses)

It seems like you have a lot of it already figured out. I'm happy for you both. You probably know you should talk to her about those "important" things before going down the aisle (finances, raising kids, having kids, employment, future plans, etc.) Just address those things. I wouldn't be worried, if I were you, if I was still in debt over school loans. I think that's somewhat acceptable. If however, they were like credit card debts and the like, well, that's a heck of a hole. Just stay optimistic, and it'll work out.

 

[MadPeriot]

good luck

 

[SethK28]

Originally posted by: bobbybe01

Well above all our love is really all that matters, however she is in grad school for another year, I am 35k in debt due to student loans. I dont want to be married and argue over finances....from what I understand this is a top 5 reason for an unsuccesful marriage. Her father already told her he knew that she was going to marry me and he was OK with that. The marriage wont happen for another 6 months-year and by that time I hope to be somewhat financially secure ( I think her dad will pay for her remaining school/expenses)

It seems like you have a lot of it already figured out. I'm happy for you both. You probably know you should talk to her about those "important" things before going down the aisle (finances, raising kids, having kids, employment, future plans, etc.) Just address those things. I wouldn't be worried, if I were you, if I was still in debt over school loans. I think that's somewhat acceptable. If however, they were like credit card debts and the like, well, that's a heck of a hole. Just stay optimistic, and it'll work out.

Yeah we talk about it quite alot, if it were up to her we would have been married a year ago. Part of the problem lies in the fact that I am 29 pushing 30and just now got a college degree she is 23 (long long story why it took me so long ....depression, drugs , etc etc) She saved my life and made me want to be a better person. She understands (from day 1) my situation and accepts it (it took her father longer, but I think he finally understands).

 

[Brutuskend]

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

 

[krunchykrome]

Propose to her man.

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: Brutuskend
I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Rock ON, my man. Rock on. :beer:

A poem by me:

The Nookie.

The nookie is a drug
It takes over your mind
Tastes so good
Feels so fine

But as time passes
You gets the shaftes
A whip she takes
On your asses

You get no play
From day to day
A desert drought
And so you pout

Now you've learned
About investments
And no return
In hell you burn


Enjoy your marriage.

 

[HappyPuppy]

I disagree. Dump the bitch, get a job, make some money and see the world first. There will be plenty of women you can fall in love with. Enjoy yourself first.

 

[SethK28]

Screw it...........I already got a 1carat ring passed down from my grandmother..........I am calling her dad next week and gonna ask him for his daughters hand in marriage.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Don't do it. Burn half of your money and hit yourself in the balls with a hammer instead. Pretty much the same end result and you'll save yourself a lot of time, hurt, and money in the end.

 

[SethK28]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
I disagree. Dump the bitch, get a job, make some money and see the world first. There will be plenty of women you can fall in love with. Enjoy yourself first.

I am 29, I have had my fill of bachelordom, screwed many a chicks (lost count actually, 25+ as far as I can remember) I have seen the world (fortuante my dad traveled alot and took the family on trips when I was younger) Mexico,Canada,Scotland, England, Ireland, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, etc etc) Was never ready to settle down until I met this her

 

[datdamkid]

Go for it. Good luck man.

 

[Brutuskend]

Keep this in mind as well!

 

[SethK28]

US

 

[MichaelD]

Originally posted by: SethK28
US

Much like your future together, your link is broken.