Originally posted by: SethK28
I've been dating my g/f for close to 3 years pretty much all through college. I KNOW she is the girl I want to marry. The problem lies in the fact that I have always told myself that I want to be self sufficient (have a job, be established) before I could ask anyone to marry me. I graduated in May and I have yet to land a job...........several interviews no offers as of late. I think thats it is just a matter of time before I land a job. I know she wants to marry me, all I have to do is ask. Here is where the dilema comes in, she is currently 4 hours away from me in grad school. I have tried but cannot find a job in the area where she is (South Georgia) and her father is very very traditional (southern baptist). I am afraid that if I ask for his permission to marry his daughter (without a job) he will not give me his blessing (very important to me and her to get this). Should I ask her anyway?
1) Being stable now is overrated. You may not be in the future and your marriage will have to weather it then, so why do you really need a job now?
2) Don't ask anybody's permission to marry her but her's, unless you plan on marrying them. It sounds like you're putting too much importance into her father, if your having a job or not is going to change his blessing, and if that's actually important to you. Mrsskoorb's parents like me now that I'm employed and liked me fine when I wasn't (which was when we got married actually).
I took marriage and family I know the stats about divorce rates and cohabitation and wouldnt go that road even if her dad allowed it.
Just because divorce rates may be higher in people who cohabited does not mean that those who don't have happier marriages. They merely get divorced less. Divorce rates were lower 40 years ago. Were marriages better? Doubtful. Those who are unwilling to cohabitate prior to marriage may be doing it for religious reasons; these reasons can also be what encourage people to stay together in a bad marriage.
Fact: The more you know about your significant other before marriage, the better you're going to be. Cohabitation is a fine way to learn about them.
Facebook
Twitter