I'm Not an Asshole, I'm an Introvert

Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
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Oct 9, 1999
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Lol, teh funnay!

An excerpt:

"For example, people think that if you’re an introvert, you don’t like parties. But, under the right circumstances, I actually do like parties. I find that the right amount of partying is to do so only on weekends or the funner weekdays (notTuesday) or whenever I’m in the mood to party. That being said, once I’m at a party, you won’t find me introducing myself to people, or thanking the host for having me, or going out of my way to show an interest in what someone else wants to talk about if it’s not me and my life, or any of that other extrovert stuff.

Most introverts find small talk cumbersome, but I actually hate all sizes of talk. I especially hate talking on the phone, even with friends. If a friend texts me, “Hey, you’re twenty minutes late! You promised you wouldn’t flake again, are you still coming?” or “emergency i need your help please call me asap,” I just won’t do it. When you think about it, it’s sort of selfish of them to demand that I talk to them on the phone even after I’ve told them multiple times that I’m an introvert.

As an introvert, I hate donating money to charity. I’m just too shy to think aboutmy money going to help some stranger."
 
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brianmanahan

Lifer
Sep 2, 2006
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if you think about it, from a physical standpoint

a butthole SHOULD be introverted

or otherwise you got problems
 
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Nov 8, 2012
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Heh, that last line is pretty dick.

But to be honest, I can relate a lot. Not to the extreme of the article, but in general I hate large parties.I hate large gatherings. Right now my work sucks because it's 200 people on an implementation shoved into 1 room at elbow to elbow. Anyone who is an introvert knows that it's exhausting. It consumes all your energy and sucks the life out of you. Seeing some close friends and having some drinks? I'm fine with that. Socializing a little at a pub/bar that isn't crowded with people standing everywhere? I'm fine with that too as long as a legitimate conversation starts spontaneously.

I can relate a lot simply because I fucking hate useless and retarded chitter chatter conversations. A lot of extroverts simply have this notion to keep talking and talking and talking, while all I care for is that they get to the point. If anyone has trouble understanding what I'm talking about, perhaps George Carlin can illustrate it better for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyWsFfd9pqE&feature=youtu.be&t=41s

In general I accept that I have to do things in like like call incompetent customer service lines because they screwed up a bill. Or because I have to cancel it - which is ridiculous in this day and age, companies placing these demands that you must call in order to cancel for a service that you can sign up for online is really just extorting introvert people into pushing the cancellation further and further into the next bill/renewal.
 

Perknose

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In general I accept that I have to do things in like like call incompetent customer service lines because they screwed up a bill. Or because I have to cancel it - which is ridiculous in this day and age, companies placing these demands that you must call in order to cancel for a service that you can sign up for online is really just extorting introvert people into pushing the cancellation further and further into the next bill/renewal.

I think I can help you, just call me. :p
 

Red Squirrel

No Lifer
May 24, 2003
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I'm introvert, some of that kind of applies to me. Though generally I don't like starting small talk or any kind of parties or large gatherings, unless it's with people I know and a small enough group. Like I'll go to the dept Christmas party, but I never go to the company one. Just not my thing. I'm also not a fan of "after parties" after the main party is over I had enough.
 

Perknose

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I'm introvert, some of that kind of applies to me. Though generally I don't like starting small talk or any kind of parties or large gatherings, unless it's with people I know and a small enough group. Like I'll go to the dept Christmas party, but I never go to the company one. Just not my thing. I'm also not a fan of "after parties" after the main party is over I had enough.
Do you and someonesmind realize that this was a HUMOR article not at all about introverts but about assholes? Are introverts so introverted that they lack a sense of humor?
 
Mar 11, 2004
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Eh, not really very funny but that seems to be par for the course for New Yorker "humor".

Reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mV5q4nSU2Q

Do you and someonesmind realize that this was a HUMOR article not at all about introverts but about assholes? Are introverts so introverted that they lack a sense of humor?

Seems like some "introverts" are just claiming that as a reason for their total self absorption. I've also personally found self claimed introverts are not very introverted when it comes to telling people about how introverted they are.
 

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
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Well....

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Perknose

Forum Director & Omnipotent Overlord
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Oct 9, 1999
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Seems like some "introverts" are just claiming that as a reason for their total self absorption. I've also personally found self claimed introverts are not very introverted when it comes to telling people about how introverted they are.
The whole point of this humor article was that it was done in the voice of an ASSHOLE who was not in any way an introvert.

This humor article was NOT about introverts, it was about narcissistic assholes claiming introversion in the same way some clowns who don't need one claim the need of therapy dogs on airplanes and restaurants when the only thing they really need is ball-peen hammer based anti narcissism therapy. ;)
 
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Miramonti

Lifer
Aug 26, 2000
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If a friend texts me, ... “EMERGENCY I NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE CALL ME ASAP,” I just won’t do it.

...As an introvert, I hate donating money to charity. I’m just too shy to think about my money going to help some stranger.

Uh, no, you're a patented @sshole.