I'm enjoying being Single.

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McGyver

Golden Member
Nov 21, 2002
1,335
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i'm with you on this one, even though i can't imagine what you've been through. let me tell you this, i'm not a religious person but i'm praying for you. it must have been tough on your part. i can't tell you what to do but perhaps, this'll help. i'm going through a break-up right now and i hate myself for being so emotionally attached. one of my friends told me, it's all in my mind, and that woke me up. all the best and remember, life is waiting for you ahead.
 
KB

KB

Diamond Member
Nov 8, 1999
5,406
389
126
I am in a similar situation as of December 2006 and can relate to many of your issues. I am begining the process of moving on myself. If you are ever in Maryland, the beers on me. :beer:
 
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Bumrush99

Diamond Member
Jun 14, 2004
3,334
194
106
Originally posted by: KB
I am in a similar situation as of December 2006 and can relate to many of your issues. I am begining the process of moving on myself. If you are ever in Maryland, the beers on me. :beer:
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KB I want to steal your sig
 
Josh123

Josh123

Diamond Member
Aug 4, 2002
3,030
2
76
Originally posted by: SagaLore
September 2006 my wife moved out.

No explanation, no warning. A week prior she was very upset and wouldn't talk. She took her ring off. Then she got an apartment, got some clothes, and was gone.

It took me months to get any information out of her. First it was because she wasn't happy, and thought as long as we were together neither of us would be truly happy. Then it was because she thought I deserved someone better than her; that she was just holding me back from goals and dreams. Then the cat was out of the bag at work - her and another co-worker had been flirting, which finally made its way to the girlfriend of the other guy... and... I will end the story there.

Moving to North Carolina was supposed to be a fresh start. In Pennsylvania we had to downsize to a 2br mobile home. Our first house was falling apart and the real estate in the town we were in was actually going down in value rather than up. So when the interest rates had fallen it was a perfect time to cut our losses. It was a tight living arrangement at first, but it was nice not having so much to mow or so much to clean. We could spend more time doing stuff together. But for some reason, there was always some distance between us. She would give hints, but never fully tell me, never try to work it out. Instead she chose to bury it deep inside and simply pretend everything was okay. We never fought, we rarely argued. But the affection was also dwindling. I knew something was wrong, but I attributed it to her dead-end job where the boss gave empty promises and was always weeks late paying her. I attributed it to our tiny little home and lack of cash flow. I attributed it to putting off having kids because we knew we couldn't afford them yet.

So then I got a new well paying job in NC. We bought a really nice house. I got her a nice car. We got all new hard wood furniture. Even without her working, we could now afford children. It was perfect.

It wasn't 4 months later that she took that ring off.

So now I have this house, all by myself. I spent Halloween and Christmas alone. I'm going to spend Easter alone. It took me a long time to take my ring off, and it was painful not having it on. But it had to be done. I'm now trying to date. I'm making new friends. I'm picking up hobbies. I'm losing weight and getting into shape. I'm traveling to India for my company, which probably would not have happened had we still been together. I'm arranging the house how I like it.

And I'm really enjoying having this level of freedom in my life.

But I'm hurting. I'm happy and sad at the same time. I'm indifferent and angry at the same time. I don't like dealing with these emotions - I have never been an emotional person, and this is getting too much for me. when I finally reach a balance, it comes crashing down again. I mentioned we were about to start a family. Well 1 year into our marriage she got pregnant. We weren't ready. I think even then she had her doubts about staying with me, and I was scared of the financial implications. When we finally accepted it and was optimistic, she miscarried. I was relieved, but felt very guilty about being relieved. She on the other hand was extremely upset. A few months ago my wife calls me that she had her annual pap smear, and the results were bad. The doctor was already bringing up a full hysterectomy as a possibility if her first procedures don't work. She might not have children, ever. She is 27, we were together 8 years, and I never gave her a child.

I can do whatever I want, whenever I want - at the cost of betrayal and postponement. Now I wait these months, until the 1 year separation is fulfilled, and divorce can be filed.

I enjoy being single. And you should too. Please don't rush into marriage.
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Thank you for the advice, I am currently in a relationship with a girl of 2 1/2 years, she is almost 20 and I am 23. For a year now we have been 3 hours away while she is going to college, and in May she will be moving with my sister 1.5 hours away to start clinicals to become a radiologist. I have been eager for marriage, but I know deep down that I shouldn't rush into it. We've both left each other for someone else and ended up getting back together, realizing how much we missed each other. I truely love the girl, but sometimes when I read threads like these I get scared. Most of my family has ended up divorced, and the one thing I want most in life is a great family. My boss just got out of a marriage and the only thing he tells me is to "be sure".
 
SagaLore

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: Josh123
Thank you for the advice, I am currently in a relationship with a girl of 2 1/2 years, she is almost 20 and I am 23. For a year now we have been 3 hours away while she is going to college, and in May she will be moving with my sister 1.5 hours away to start clinicals to become a radiologist. I have been eager for marriage, but I know deep down that I shouldn't rush into it. We've both left each other for someone else and ended up getting back together, realizing how much we missed each other. I truely love the girl, but sometimes when I read threads like these I get scared. Most of my family has ended up divorced, and the one thing I want most in life is a great family. My boss just got out of a marriage and the only thing he tells me is to "be sure".
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Don't be scared - but also don't be impatient. If you two are good for each other, it will work itself out without the pressure of meeting the cultural standards of a matrimonial contract.
 
SagaLore

SagaLore

Elite Member
Dec 18, 2001
24,036
21
81
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: iRONic
Nope. SagaLore got a secretary at work pregnant.
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:laugh:

yeh... damn tissue cum rags. they really boost fertility.
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They deleted my april fool's thread too. :(
 
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