I'm dealing with morons (warning, work rant)

[spidey07]

<< shinerburke this is a hilarious story. Makes me wonder about going into IT >>



unfortunately happens all the time. I'm a CCNP/CCDP/MCSE/CISSP/CCSP and actually barely failed my CCIE lab a few months ago. I've been in IT and building networks since 1989.

This is really a familiar story. Network guys say it is programming, programming says it is middleware, middleware says it's server hardware, server guys say it programming, programming says its network, network AGAIN WITH A WEEKS WORTH OF SNIFFER TRACES SHOWING THEM THE BOGUS ORACLE/SQL CALLS THEIR CRAP PROGRAM IS DOING, say its programming.

Programming says its middleware, despite a full blown network analysis and recommendations on how they could improve their code.

Some fsckers never learn. Guess that's why they're still programming.

 

[shiner]

This keeps getting better. Just got an email from their boss asking me if I could put some specs and pricing together for a new server. Seems his guys have him convinced, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, that there is something wrong with the server. Can't wait until they drop 40k on a new server and the problem is still there. I'm just sitting here debating on if I should write him and explain everything or just go ahead and do the pricing tomorrow morning.

 

[BuckleDownBen]

do the pricing for a new server. what do you have to lose?

what kind of app is this? did it ever work properly? why doesn't the guy you are dealing with show you (or someone knowledgeable) the source code? geez, he must have spent 20 K on this so far. i bet this guy you deal with is going to dispute the bill you give him.

the scary thing is, in my 4 short years in the IT business, I have seen several cases of equal or greater stupidity.

I can picture the three idiot programmers jabbering on about how dumb and useless you consultants are.

 

[shiner]

<< what kind of app is this? did it ever work properly? why doesn't the guy you are dealing with show you (or someone knowledgeable) the source code? geez, he must have spent 20 K on this so far. i bet this guy you deal with is going to dispute the bill you give him. >>


It's a medical records app. It has never worked properly in the 3 months since they rolled it out. They always dispute the bills we send them but in the end they pay when we hit them with the old "ok don't pay us and we'll go ahead and void the contract and not come and help you next time."

 

[bizmark]

heheh it'd be unethical as hell, but you could go ahead and price it and sell them a new server, getting your profit on the sale, even though you know nothing's wrong with the one they've got now..... maybe you could buy the old one from them for pennies on the dollar.

but then what'll they do when they install the new one, put all of the same software on it, and it still doesn't work?

 

[AmigaMan]

Is this the end of the story?? We want more!

 

[shiner]

<< Is this the end of the story?? We want more! >>


Just got to work. Light on my phone is flashing telling me I have voicemail but I haven't listened to it yet. Have to finish my coffee and bagel first. You have to have priorities man.

 

[Night201]

<---- Patiently waiting for the saga to continue...

 

[Geekbabe]

<< $180/hr to post on ATOT, I am insanely jelous. >>



A lot of calls I get involve something stupid like some fool disconnecting a nic or switch, since I have a 2hr minimum for onsite work, I gotta look busy doing something for awhile


shinerburke, do keep us all updated on this one

 

[Geekbabe]

<< This keeps getting better. Just got an email from their boss asking me if I could put some specs and pricing together for a new server. Seems his guys have him convinced, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, that there is something wrong with the server. Can't wait until they drop 40k on a new server and the problem is still there. I'm just sitting here debating on if I should write him and explain everything or just go ahead and do the pricing tomorrow morning. >>




ROTFLMAO !! Do the pricing, heck make somebody happy with this mess, with all this cash they're willing to fling around it seems a shame these people can't buy a clue eh ?

 

[Turkey22]

Is there any way we could get a sticky until this is resolved? This has to be one of the most entertaining threads I've heard.

 

[Night201]

Bump for a great thread!

 

[shiner]

One of the voicemails I had this morning were from these mental giants. Called them back and they wanted a Cisco engineer to come look at the network yet again. I offered to send our guy out but they weren't happy about that. Just got out of a meeting and had a voicemail from a Cisco engineer in Dallas, called him back and told him what was going on and what kind of troubleshooting had been done. He had a good laugh and said they asked him to fly up this morning but he told them he doubted that was necessary since there are several engineers that the could call locally. They told him they had already had their network looked at by our guy and that they weren't happy with the outcome. He thinks they are barking up the wrong tree but did ask that I FTP him some netmon logs and give him the number of our engineer.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< One of the voicemails I had this morning were from these mental giants. Called them back and they wanted a Cisco engineer to come look at the network yet again. I offered to send our guy out but they weren't happy about that. Just got out of a meeting and had a voicemail from a Cisco engineer in Dallas, called him back and told him what was going on and what kind of troubleshooting had been done. He had a good laugh and said they asked him to fly up this morning but he told them he doubted that was necessary since there are several engineers that the could call locally. They told him they had already had their network looked at by our guy and that they weren't happy with the outcome. He thinks they are barking up the wrong tree but did ask that I FTP him some netmon logs and give him the number of our engineer. >>




They'd rather fly a Cisco specialist in then take the advice of their local contracted pro's and have a look at programming issues with their in house built app ??

Man,configure those server spec's and spare them no expense !!

 

[shiner]

<< They'd rather fly a Cisco specialist in then take the advice of their local contracted pro's and have a look at programming issues with their in house built app ?? >>


They are incredibly stubborn and have a history and doing anything they can to avoid looking bad themselves. They are the main reason I have such a low opinion of programmers.



<< Man,configure those server spec's and spare them no expense !! >>


Doing that right now.

As a side note. Stay away from whole wheat bagels and coffee. The combination runs right through you.

 

[Geekbabe]

<<

<< They'd rather fly a Cisco specialist in then take the advice of their local contracted pro's and have a look at programming issues with their in house built app ?? >>


They are incredibly stubborn and have a history and doing anything they can to avoid looking bad themselves. They are the main reason I have such a low opinion of programmers.



<< Man,configure those server spec's and spare them no expense !! >>


Doing that right now.

As a side note. Stay away from whole wheat bagels and coffee. The combination runs right through you. >>




LOL,I like nothing better than revenge configurations,wish I was on the receiving end of that build
contract


I'm just having my second round of coffee now, english muffin for me though

 

[Cerebus451]

<< They are the main reason I have such a low opinion of programmers >>


And the system contractors we bring in here are the reason I think even a monkey could get "certified". We get guys rolling in here that can't spell "NT" much less work with it.

Oh well, as a real programmer, I call on you to stick it to these guys in the name of true programming. I'm sure there are plenty of programmers around here that would like to know who it is that is having the problem as we see the dollar signs dancing in front of our eyes too.

 

[Farmall]

This is funnier than I could have ever hoped for when opening this thread!!!
Put the screws to them with the pricing on the new server. What a bunch of imbeciles, its amazing the level of ignorance that seems to abound with some people.

<< Busts out 18V cordless screwgun, hands to shinerburke.

Thanks for a good A.M. laugh.

 

[shiner]

Cisco guy in Dallas called our engineer and spoke with him for about 30 minutes. They pretty much agreed that there are no network issues and could see no unusual activity in the logs over the last couple of days. He said he was going to call the company and tell them he can find no network issues and suggest they look into the program itself since Compaq, and MS have both not been able to find anything wrong with the OS, SQL, or hardware. Wonder who the wonder monkeys are going to blame now? I'm about to go run some errands and then grab lunch. Will be gone an hour or two and I bet my voicemail is full when I get back. Then again they may just page me, hope it's not in the middle of lunch or I may do one of baffled2's patented Pepsi out the nose maneuvers.

 

[Geekbabe]

<< Then again they may just page me, hope it's not in the middle of lunch or I may do one of baffled2's patented Pepsi out the nose maneuvers. >>




LOL,if you do make sure you bill em big for it !

 

[bunker]

Shiner, thanks for the grins man, this is great!

Just be thankful that you're not a QA tester (I do this occassionally) and it's your job to find faults with the program. Man, talk about pissed off stubborn programmers.

The only good part is because I'm doing QA they have to look at the code and make the fixes.

 

[shiner]

Alas the saga may be nearing an end. Got back and there was a voicemail from the programmers' boss. He thanked me for everything, said they were going to "hold off on purchasing a new server for now since it looks like it could be application related." Gee ya think?

 

[AmigaMan]

Darn, I was hoping for someone to go ballistic on them. I guess this means that the super server from hell (tm) you would have built (and shared the profits with ATOT no doubt) is not coming to fruition? Maybe they can hire me to analyze their code? I'm a programmer, but I prefer the term "developer" I'll charge them only $100/hr.

 

[cavingjan]

I'm taking a VB class at night right now and the prof was complaining about an MS Access database (he works for an insurance companyto boot) that they are locked out of because the admin of that particular file had a accident and is no longer in the land of the living and nobody has the password. I promptly told him that it could be broken but didn't want to hear it. Within 5 minutes I handed him URLs for two different programs that would break Access passwords to give them access for less than $1000. Million dollar database that they can't use and they were goign to spend tons of money to manually crack it when perfectly viable tool are already available. He also tried to claim that MS doesn't have any backdoor passwords for their office suite files. Why they are using an Access database for this, I have no clue.

Point of this story: this guy is teaching the future programmers of tomorrow. Not good.

 

[kgraeme]

shinerburke, you might want to suggest to the client that they could also try an application performance testing service. One company I know is Mercury Interactive. Offering something like this might help your clients know that you really are interested in helping them solve the problem.