I'm dealing with morons (warning, work rant)

[spidey07]

FWIW,

I've seen this kind of problem many times with SQL server. Most of the time it is the server running low on memory or poor physical disk configuration.

Wanna know why it always runs into memory problems?























bad programmers.

 

[BCYL]

Hey keep updating this thread... I wanna know what's going on after the MS and Compaq guys leave...

This is entertaining...

 

[skace]

$180/hr to post on ATOT, I am insanely jelous.

 

[Night201]

I second that. Keep us updated!

 

[shiner]

<< I've seen this kind of problem many times with SQL server. Most of the time it is the server running low on memory or poor physical disk configuration. >>


Server has quad PIII 733mhz and 3.5GB RAM with 15k Ultra Wide SCSI III drives.

The latest update is the Compaq guy is still running his advanced diagnostics, said it would take 2-3 hours, and the MS guy is reviewing some log files. Me? I'm going back and forth between surfing the net and reading the newspaper.

 

[spidey07]

If the database is poorly configured and the app is as well, you could still run low on memory and be swapping a lot.

 

[shiner]

<< If the database is poorly configured and the app is as well, you could still run low on memory and be swapping a lot. >>


MS guy had a look at the database and thinks it looks ok. He's pretty squarely laying the problem at the feet of the application. I just don't know how many people they need to tell them this. I've been over the log files, the perfmon reports, the network utilization reports, hardware diags, etc, etc, etc... for the last two days and these guys refuse to even consider that it could be their app. They are stonewalling the MS guy as well but he keeps throwing things back in their face and saying "well if you aren't going to listen to any of us then why are we here?"

I keep waiting for the 3 programmers to start crying, kicking their feet, and falling to the floor and throwing a tantrum while screaming "No, no, no, it can't be our precious application!"

 

[Shockwave]

I dunno who you work for, but sounds like a fun job! They hiring??

 

[spidey07]

LOL

 

[Optimus]

Shiner:

I know how bad programmers can get - I talk to them all day, every day.

It is NEVER thier fault, even when you correct thier code and it all works.



In this scenario, here is a typical start:

Me: "How long has it been doing this?"

Them:

A) "Oh, about (amount of time) now."

B) "Its always done this"

IF A:

Me: "What changed?"
Them: "Nothing!"
Me: "Nothing at all?"
Them: "Not one tiny thing! Except that we applied a patch to the client/app/DB"
Me: "Ah ha!"

Concentrate on what changed from there.


IF B:

Me:"What happened in testing? We need to go back and look at the architecture and performance of this app in test scenarios."
Them: "It was fine in test!"
Me: "OK, so whats different between test and dev?"
Them: "Nothing!"
Me: "Nothing?"
Them: "Nothing at all except that the DB is version 7.1 in test and its 8.2 in dev..."

etc.



Them: "Nothing!

 

[BCYL]

Man I am so jealous of your job... getting paid $180/hr to surf the web and read newspapers...

Maybe you should thank them for not listening to you...

 

[BuckleDownBen]

If SQL Profiler (or is it called SQL Trace) is running, that can slow down things a lot. I had this problem once with a client whose Network Admin had turned it on from the ODBC manager. I told him what the problem was, and he refused to fix it, because he said he never turned it on. I had to call a non-technical user and walk her through turning it off. Programmers have as much problem with Network admins as Network Admins have with programmers. The problem is any idiot can get certified, and anyone with a certification can get a job. This goes for everyone in the IT business.

 

[shiner]

<< The problem is any idiot can get certified, and anyone with a certification can get a job. This goes for everyone in the IT business. >>


True statement and that's why I hate paper MCSE's & etc...can't stand for some kid just off passing his final test being hired and coming in and trying to tell me how to take care of my server farm that I've been dealing with since October of 1997. Been a Network Admin since 1995, back when I was a Novell CSE, and I've been in and around the I.T. business since I graduated from high school in 1988.

SQL profiler is not running on any of their servers.

Now for the update:

Compaq guy finished his diag scan and told them "I can 100% guarantee that there is nothing wrong with the hardware in the machine and nothing wrong with the way it is configured. It has the latest BIOS, latest Compaq SSD, and latest flashes on all the various cards." The programmer guys still tried to BS around and he would have none of it and told them again "There is nothing wrong with the hardware in these servers, nothing!" As I was showing him out he asked me how I could deal with them and not want to kill. I told him that it was difficult not to go get my 9mm out of the car a few times but that I didn't really feel like being Bubba's prison bitch. When I got back they were all over the MS guy and he just kept telling them over and over again that he had been through everything from both the OS and SQL side and could find nothing wrong with the way they were setup and that it HAD to be a program problem. They still complained and he finally got angry and said "Look, just because none of you could code to save your lives don't try to blame this on someone else. It's your program, it's garbage, maybe you should look into that instead of pointing fingers at everyone else." He then asked me to show him out which I did and he just bitched about them the whole time. I got back down to the server room and started to get my stuff when they all jumped me about checking the network connectivity again. I told them that had already been done and that they were getting excellent throughput. The kept whining and so I started a backup of the server across the network and showed them again that the slowest the speed ever dropped to was 400mb per minute. They kept bitching and saying that proved nothing so I started a netmon session and was showing them the data from that. They still refused to believe me and so tomorrow they want a Cisco guy to come out. Freaking morons!

 

[shiner]

<< getting paid $180/hr to surf the web and read newspapers... >>


That's not what I'm making, I wish, it's what they are paying the company I work for.

 

[BCYL]

<<

<< The problem is any idiot can get certified, and anyone with a certification can get a job. This goes for everyone in the IT business. >>


True statement and that's why I hate paper MCSE's & etc...can't stand for some kid just off passing his final test being hired and coming in and trying to tell me how to take care of my server farm that I've been dealing with since October of 1997. Been a Network Admin since 1995, back when I was a Novell CSE, and I've been in and around the I.T. business since I graduated from high school in 1988.

SQL profiler is not running on any of their servers.

Now for the update:

Compaq guy finished his diag scan and told them "I can 100% guarantee that there is nothing wrong with the hardware in the machine and nothing wrong with the way it is configured. It has the latest BIOS, latest Compaq SSD, and latest flashes on all the various cards." The programmer guys still tried to BS around and he would have none of it and told them again "There is nothing wrong with the hardware in these servers, nothing!" As I was showing him out he asked me how I could deal with them and not want to kill. I told him that it was difficult not to go get my 9mm out of the car a few times but that I didn't really feel like being Bubba's prison bitch. When I got back they were all over the MS guy and he just kept telling them over and over again that he had been through everything from both the OS and SQL side and could find nothing wrong with the way they were setup and that it HAD to be a program problem. They still complained and he finally got angry and said "Look, just because none of you could code to save your lives don't try to blame this on someone else. It's your program, it's garbage, maybe you should look into that instead of pointing fingers at everyone else." He then asked me to show him out which I did and he just bitched about them the whole time. I got back down to the server room and started to get my stuff when they all jumped me about checking the network connectivity again. I told them that had already been done and that they were getting excellent throughput. The kept whining and so I started a backup of the server across the network and showed them again that the slowest the speed ever dropped to was 400mb per minute. They kept bitching and saying that proved nothing so I started a netmon session and was showing them the data from that. They still refused to believe me and so tomorrow they want a Cisco guy to come out. Freaking morons! >>



OMG!!! I can't believe some people can be so dense! I feel so lucky that I havent deal with someone like this yet.... (but then again, I'm a programmer )

 

[Pepsei]

i should become a consultant.... makes more money... and leech off my woman's insurance.....

 

[kazeakuma]

Shinerburke you have to keep this thread updated. This is just too good to be true

I thought some of my experiences were bad, but jeebus, these people take the cake. Maybe they'll listen to the Gates man himself

I have had some absolute classics though. In one customer's office, their server isn't really in their own room. One day I went in to apply a few updates. Next day we get calls saying their server is down and it must be something I did. Of course I didn't take to well to that remark So I went in, looked at the server, plugged the network cable back in and walked out. Some idiot had been messing round near the server and stepped on the cable

 

[felixlee]

<<

<< getting paid $180/hr to surf the web and read newspapers... >>


That's not what I'm making, I wish, it's what they are paying the company I work for. >>



hey that's still not too bad. even if you only get 1/3 of that, that's like a $500 pay day.

 

[Chu]

So this is what I have to look foward to when I get out of college . . .

::sigh::

:frown:

-Chu

 

[shiner]

<< Shinerburke you have to keep this thread updated >>


I'm going to try. Keeping a log of it at work as well since I'm sure I will need it when they get their bill and bitch about it.

 

[jaydee]

But... are you SURE it's not a network problem?

 

[bugsysiegel]

Gotta subscribe to this thread, it's more entertaining than anything I've seen in a theater in a long time!


Try not to kill anyone shinerburke!



I hope when I get a job programming, I'm more open to common sense than these idgets.

 

[bizmark]

shinerburke this is a hilarious story. Makes me wonder about going into IT. Anyway, be sure to tell us what the Cisco guy says!

 

[shiner]

<< Anyway, be sure to tell us what the Cisco guy says! >>


Will do. I'm kind of the jack of all trades since I'm an MCSE, CCNA, & Compaq A.S.E. but we have a Cisco guru on staff so I would imagine we send him over there and I can already tell you what he will say. Something along the lines of "F-ing dickwits(his favortie word)" and then he will tell them there is nothing wrong. After that I fully expect them to actually call Cisco.

 

[kazeakuma]

<< I'm going to try. Keeping a log of it at work as well since I'm sure I will need it when they get their bill and bitch about it. >>



Good stuff This should be turned into an IT soapie or something. Something for bored admins to do while at work.