no real update yet, i might fall back to some language work (stuff like italian speaking collections officer or italian admin), there's a couple listings i've applied for that actually pay more (£22k vs £18k) ..
thing is, i really wanted to move on to sales/marketing; this is pretty much the same thing which prevents me from crawling back to my bank bosses to ask for my "old job back". (dont freak out, hear me first)
i'm going on 44, i'm tired of dead end jobs. in the bank job, it takes me an average of 9 minutes to process a file, it takes everyone else 30-35min, how i do not know. same as the IBM call center, being good doesn't increase my pay. i ended my 2 year stint with some of the best numbers in the whole centre, in some cases 10x, such as having 3 mistakes per month vs 30 average. (everything counts, even typos).
I wanted to progress to something which has a career potential, where i might one day sell half-million contracts and get a decent cut. Plus, i love technology and it would have been my thing.
Now, it's important to mention that my bank job cannot "take me back", what they could do is hire me again, because there is a process of creating and deleting admin access to the ID of the worker which requires the full hiring process to go through - five weeks. For a job i never wanted in the first place, that i can honestly barely tolerate, and it would have been made even worse by my going back and having to face ridicule from everyone (i didnt burn any bridges though).
I'm really frustrated. First i had a fucking bureaucratic mistake in the 80s that kept me out of college for 3 years; then audio as a job pretty much disappeared with DAWs making it stupid easy for anyone to produce music in their bedroom. I was making money around 2000 being an entrapreneur which was fine until the 2k bubble made cash disappear from the face of the planet. i'v spent 15 years trying to make something out of myself in the conventional way, by working diligently, and i keep getting kicked in the balls by life. I dedicate 0% of my time to bullshit and focus on work like i have no life, and still zero results - my bank account is near zero, i don't have a car, nor a house. To top it off, i've studied either music production (which is now worthless) or the classic (which people don't even fucking know what they are); for a kid that at 17 was reading Das Kapital or The Leviathan of its own accord, i sure managed to not make anything out of myself.
Also .. i don't mean to be a dick, but that thing "do something you like" really does depend on whether or not those in charge of said thing will let me do it. I don't know if i just have a no-face or maybe i smell funny, but i've always seen random people get the promotion / new team / raise even when demonstrably incompetent. In IBM a girl who started with me was made my supervisor despite the fact that she though using colors, or altering the width of a cell in Excel would make the files incompatible (i kid you not; and Excel was what 50% of our job rotated around).
At one time, i even applied for a shitty job working on a cruise ship, $1200/mo, but doing sound engineering, which i thought "awesome, this will get my life back on track" and despite how badly i wanted the job, i was not hired.
(apparently, based on the fact that i had worked with 32 tracks and not 128, which anyone who knows, would know it's the same.fucking.thing)
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