mobobuff
Lifer
- Apr 5, 2004
- 11,099
- 1
- 81
Yes, and I am. And we've been together happily for 3 years now.
That being said, I support the OP and his feelings. Rather than being a complete moron and labeling him a racist while refusing to listen to reason.
There's lots of good advice and logic in this thread, mostly from people like Queasy, Arkitech, PingSpike (brilliant pathological adaptation instinct analogy), AStar617, and WinstonSmith to name a few.
You'll have to ignore the ignorance from such posts as moshquerade, Ausm, purbeast0, djheater, and DivideBYZero and a few others.*
I couldn't say anything else helpful that hasn't been summed up already by posts made by the first group of people. But just to summarize... try not to judge her TOO quickly. Even though you might not be as attracted to her now as you were before, try to get to know her better, or the guy she dated. With such a knee-jerk reaction like this, you may be missing out on a great relationship with a great person.
I hope this topic wasn't originally meant to be flamebait, and that this is an actual personal situation.
Good luck,
mobobuff
That being said, I support the OP and his feelings. Rather than being a complete moron and labeling him a racist while refusing to listen to reason.
There's lots of good advice and logic in this thread, mostly from people like Queasy, Arkitech, PingSpike (brilliant pathological adaptation instinct analogy), AStar617, and WinstonSmith to name a few.
You'll have to ignore the ignorance from such posts as moshquerade, Ausm, purbeast0, djheater, and DivideBYZero and a few others.*
I couldn't say anything else helpful that hasn't been summed up already by posts made by the first group of people. But just to summarize... try not to judge her TOO quickly. Even though you might not be as attracted to her now as you were before, try to get to know her better, or the guy she dated. With such a knee-jerk reaction like this, you may be missing out on a great relationship with a great person.
I hope this topic wasn't originally meant to be flamebait, and that this is an actual personal situation.
Good luck,
mobobuff
again, i disagree because i don't believe it was a conscious decision as much as it was a change of feeling.
i don't believe that most people have that much control over who they are "attracted" to and who they aren't. the OP is in an interesting situation because he found a specific set of circumstances that changed this feeling for this girl. will it happen the next time he feels something for a girl and then finds out she previously dated someone of a different ethnic origin? who knows.
Hollllyy crap! You beat me to it old manOriginally posted by: Red Dawn
And if you did she probably wouldn't notice!Originally posted by: Chrono
I'm Chinese. I'd date a white girl. I won't date a black girl though.
mobobuff
Lifer
- Apr 5, 2004
- 11,099
- 1
- 81
Perhaps, but the fact that he was originally attracted to the girl tells me this might have just been a knee-jerk reaction, and that getting to know her and the situation more might change his mind. And if the guy she dated was a complete jerk/moron and the girl's personality isn't that great either, then he can at least say he tried, and his original reaction would be validated (in that circumstance). It's a win/win situation.
I don't see why not, unless I had previous knowledge that he was a real scumbag. Of course, that would apply a guy of any race.
Depends on the guy more than race. If it was someone like NFS4 I wouldn't care but if it was Kobe Bryant that's a different story.
skyking
Lifer
- Nov 21, 2001
- 22,685
- 5,807
- 146
I think that love conquers all, as it should.
That said, I can think of several relationships and women I have observed and known that support the negative stereotype, that gut feeling some posters can't explain.
These women came from abusive relationships and RACIST households. Sometimes it was multiple abusive father figures in a row. Their self-esteem was really low.
They were attracted to not just black men, but abusive ones. It was as if that was in one move the worst thing they could do to the folks, and continue the co-dependent cycle of abuse.
These relationships were like caracitures, way larger than life. You noticed that picture, and it was not pretty. If you had a single shred of prejudice, you'd say to yourself, "wow, she is going out with a black guy, she is messed up".
Well, you'd be half right. She WAS messed up. The abusive black guy was just her personal purgatory. If it required an abusive one-legged greco-scandinavian dwarf, she would have found him, because for her that strange need conquered all.
If you need an abusive partner, they can be had in all shapes, sizes and colors.
The real shame is, for every one of those relationships, there'd be dozens of loving couples. Unfortunately, those ones did not attract the attention of the public abusive ones. It reinforces a negative stereotype.
I think that has something to do with gut feelings that people have about it.
That said, I can think of several relationships and women I have observed and known that support the negative stereotype, that gut feeling some posters can't explain.
These women came from abusive relationships and RACIST households. Sometimes it was multiple abusive father figures in a row. Their self-esteem was really low.
They were attracted to not just black men, but abusive ones. It was as if that was in one move the worst thing they could do to the folks, and continue the co-dependent cycle of abuse.
These relationships were like caracitures, way larger than life. You noticed that picture, and it was not pretty. If you had a single shred of prejudice, you'd say to yourself, "wow, she is going out with a black guy, she is messed up".
Well, you'd be half right. She WAS messed up. The abusive black guy was just her personal purgatory. If it required an abusive one-legged greco-scandinavian dwarf, she would have found him, because for her that strange need conquered all.
If you need an abusive partner, they can be had in all shapes, sizes and colors.
The real shame is, for every one of those relationships, there'd be dozens of loving couples. Unfortunately, those ones did not attract the attention of the public abusive ones. It reinforces a negative stereotype.
I think that has something to do with gut feelings that people have about it.
Gunslinger08
Lifer
- Nov 18, 2001
- 13,234
- 2
- 81
Half on topic:
Do you (everyone) date black people?
I don't, because I'm not attracted to the skin color. How is that any different from not dating girls with small boobs or black hair or huge noses?
Do you (everyone) date black people?
I don't, because I'm not attracted to the skin color. How is that any different from not dating girls with small boobs or black hair or huge noses?
Armatron,
If you?re worried that after going black once that you?ll never be able to satisfy her- you?re probably right. Otherwise you?re just a racist.
In my case (like many of the other posters) I don?t care what skin colors or races a woman has dated previously- as long as they are interesting, kind and fun to be around (being sexy as hell doesn't hurt either).
-Reader
If you?re worried that after going black once that you?ll never be able to satisfy her- you?re probably right. Otherwise you?re just a racist.
In my case (like many of the other posters) I don?t care what skin colors or races a woman has dated previously- as long as they are interesting, kind and fun to be around (being sexy as hell doesn't hurt either).
-Reader
'Bout sums up my thoughts. I grew up in a family which had some strong racist undertones, and I have worked hard for my entire adult life to overcome the gut reactions I encounter in certain situations. For the most part I have succeeded, and I have never allowed my gut reaction to prejudice my actions. Ugh.
the absolute INTOLERANCE of the so called "NON RACISTS" in this thread just flat out amaze me.
so you only tolerate people that are beneath you and those that don't offend your personal beliefs. :roll:
so you only tolerate people that are beneath you and those that don't offend your personal beliefs. :roll:
I am black, and do not really date women of other races that only date black men. I also think its strange when asian women only date white guys, or white guys with asian women, or black men with white women. Something about that isn't right. Other than that I pretty much don't care about ethnicity, especially when dating. I really don't care how promiscuous she used to be either, as long as she isn't when we're together. Everyone has baggage, and if there was no chance for redemption then life would suck.
I do however, find it strange that white men would shun their own women if they dated me. The few white girls I've dated where pretty nice, kinda crazy, but still nice, and they don't deserve to be looked down upon. Oh well, I guess its someone else's loss.
I do however, find it strange that white men would shun their own women if they dated me. The few white girls I've dated where pretty nice, kinda crazy, but still nice, and they don't deserve to be looked down upon. Oh well, I guess its someone else's loss.
Here's the first link I found on Google... there are others if need be.
http://www.discoverychannel.ca/sexfiles/season_2/sfs214a2.htm
MichaelD
Lifer
- Jan 16, 2001
- 31,528
- 3
- 76
I didn't read the whole thread, but hey, let me add some fuel to the fire (if it's not already been posted).
Question: Would you date a white woman that has HAD A CHILD that was fathered with a black man. Or for that matter, if you're a black male, would you date a black
woman that's had a child FATHERED BY A WHITE MAN>?
Question: Would you date a white woman that has HAD A CHILD that was fathered with a black man. Or for that matter, if you're a black male, would you date a black
woman that's had a child FATHERED BY A WHITE MAN>?
You're kidding, right? You don't think it says anything about her self-esteem and/or poor judgement, both things which can seriously affect future relationships? Trust me, even if we leave racial preferences out of it altogether, there are still warning signs.
Wouldn't care. A kid has nothing to do with anything, probably doesn't even know he/she is different until someone tells them they are.
I'm not really sure what you're getting at but let me say that wherein 'tolerance' can be misconsrued as condoning racist behavior it is wrong.
Racism is incorrect action.
Tolerance of racism is incorrect action.
There is no rationale by which either is justified.
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