I'm on disability. Never on unemployment or food stamps or any of the other programs that go with TANF and so on. I have gotten charity food assistance and, I get some of my medication from manufacturers free programs.
I'm not ashamed to be on disability. It isn't much money. The emotion I feel is bewilderment Disability is complicated. It's a full-time job to get through the mess. My daughter and younger son nearly lost their jobs getting it done.
If it's any consolation, I'm likely to die soon.
To the OP, I grew up in a mennonite community, where there are a lot of things that you are supposed to feel ashamed about (like wearing the wrong color bonnet). You might consider joining that. You would be right at home there - as long as you don't mind hard physical labor from dawn to midnight. They do not believe in taking government handouts.
If it's any consolation, I'm likely to die soon.