Use the ultimatum to force her into a substance abuse clinic. BTW how old are you b/c it may play a factor in this.
dude i'd press charges.
Assuming you're old enough to take care of yourself.
What are you gonna do if she stabs you while you're asleep ?
Assuming you're old enough to take care of yourself.
What are you gonna do if she stabs you while you're asleep ?
Is it possible for you to press charges and then if she is convicted, ask the judge for her sentence to be something like mandatory counseling (family and/or alcohol abuse) and community service or something like that? Or is this one of those things that only happens in movies and such?
-Tom
-Tom
Press charges because next time you may move too slowly. She needs help but from personal experience she will not get it unless someone steps in to try to help. It may not work so be prepared to remove yourself from the situation. Sorry to hear about it. 
well, I would press charges. maybe you can talk to the DA or something and see if they can force her into rehab instead of jail. it might be worth a try.
I know one thing, drunk or not, if my mom literally stabbed me in the back I'd have a difficult time "trusting" her ever again. That is some serious sh!t. Mom telling you she doesn't give a sh!t what happens in your life or what you end up doing is bad enough, but causing major bodily harm? Later, b!tch!
I would personally consider just leaving her (if possible of course). Rehab IMO only seems like a good idea when the person REALLY wants to get better, and just needs help with it. (Legal) punishment in and of itself isn't necessarily all that constructive IMO, and it's a lot of $$, BS, drama, etc.
It might not be an option for you and I certainly wouldn't *encourage* you to do it, but if I were in your situation, I would very possibly just move out and cut ties with her. But again, that's just me.
It might not be an option for you and I certainly wouldn't *encourage* you to do it, but if I were in your situation, I would very possibly just move out and cut ties with her. But again, that's just me.
Azraele
Elite Member
- Nov 5, 2000
- 16,524
- 29
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I understand that she's your mom, and that pressing charges would be hard, but more than likely at some point in time you'll have to consider doing just that. She's done this once, it could definately happen again, and next time you might not be so lucky.
It's a really tough situation, and your best bet might be to get out of the house. It's just not safe.
Is she at all receptive to counseling/rehab of some sort?
It's a really tough situation, and your best bet might be to get out of the house. It's just not safe.
Is she at all receptive to counseling/rehab of some sort?
I would press charges, since rehab has failed the last two times some harder choices have to be made for her own health (and yours).
I'm not even going to pretend like I'm qualified to give you advice on this. This is obviously a tough situation, and I wish you the best of luck in dealing with it.
DannyBoy -
Does England have Family Courts? Here in the States, you can petition the Family Court in your county for an Order of Protection (some courts call it a Protective or Restraining Order) stating what she did and ask the judge, in addition to the Order of Protection, to order her to get into alcohol counseling. This way, she wouldn't have a record, nor would she be put in jail. If she failed to go into counseling, you can file a violation of the Order - then it's up to the judge whether he reads her the riot act or puts her in jail. Most likely, it would be the former unless she physically attacked you again.
Whichever option you choose, I wish you well.
Does England have Family Courts? Here in the States, you can petition the Family Court in your county for an Order of Protection (some courts call it a Protective or Restraining Order) stating what she did and ask the judge, in addition to the Order of Protection, to order her to get into alcohol counseling. This way, she wouldn't have a record, nor would she be put in jail. If she failed to go into counseling, you can file a violation of the Order - then it's up to the judge whether he reads her the riot act or puts her in jail. Most likely, it would be the former unless she physically attacked you again.
Whichever option you choose, I wish you well.
To the state the obvious, the course of action to take, is determined by the outcome that you desire. Keep in mind what YOU now want from your relationship with your mother, and not just what you think may be best for her. You have to look after yourself in such situations. If you don?t do that, you?ll also find it harder to be there for her, assuming you continue to help her.
Moving out of the house and setting a definite boundary is worth some serious consideration. Possibly arrange to only meet your mother in neutral places and leave immediately if she appears drunk. You can be very clear on what you will and won?t tolerate from her and that can help the both of you. It sounds a bit clinical but this is obviously a serious situation. I don?t see why you can?t still meet her under safe conditions and still be able to show her you care.
She might not respond very well if you do take such a course of action, and then you will be tested to see if you are strong enough to follow the course of action you have chosen. I would suggest getting some counselling for yourself. But shop around and find a counsellor that you can relate to, that?s important.
It?s impossible to predict how the authorities will react if you report the incident. Mileage will vary tremendously and it almost becomes a crap shoot, the outcome depending on so many variables outside of your control.
It?s also impossible to say how your mother will respond to jail or rehab.
That?s why I suggest focussing on something more tangible first, such as taking care of yourself. When you?ve done that, the situation should look different anyway and the way forward may be easier to see.
Moving out of the house and setting a definite boundary is worth some serious consideration. Possibly arrange to only meet your mother in neutral places and leave immediately if she appears drunk. You can be very clear on what you will and won?t tolerate from her and that can help the both of you. It sounds a bit clinical but this is obviously a serious situation. I don?t see why you can?t still meet her under safe conditions and still be able to show her you care.
She might not respond very well if you do take such a course of action, and then you will be tested to see if you are strong enough to follow the course of action you have chosen. I would suggest getting some counselling for yourself. But shop around and find a counsellor that you can relate to, that?s important.
It?s impossible to predict how the authorities will react if you report the incident. Mileage will vary tremendously and it almost becomes a crap shoot, the outcome depending on so many variables outside of your control.
It?s also impossible to say how your mother will respond to jail or rehab.
That?s why I suggest focussing on something more tangible first, such as taking care of yourself. When you?ve done that, the situation should look different anyway and the way forward may be easier to see.
I have seen these threads a million times asking for advice. It always comes down to two decisions. Right now one of your decisions is to protect your family. Well the thing about that is your not protecting your family if your not protecting yourself (even if its from family members).
The other decision would be to press charges. This is the right answere because look at it this way. What would be safest for you and her? TURNING HER IN! You have done all that you could have done to help her and try to make her less belligerant. You cant control her anymore.
But no matter what I say you are most likely going o chicken out and not say sh!t. Because somehow you will justify her actions because of your background. You know her better than anyone else and you have to protect her. THATS CRAZY THOUGHT!! FOR THE LOVE OF FVCKING CHRIST JUST TURN HER IN!!!! DO IT!!!
An intoxicated hostile reply by your friendly neighborhood Xionide.
-Xionide
The other decision would be to press charges. This is the right answere because look at it this way. What would be safest for you and her? TURNING HER IN! You have done all that you could have done to help her and try to make her less belligerant. You cant control her anymore.
But no matter what I say you are most likely going o chicken out and not say sh!t. Because somehow you will justify her actions because of your background. You know her better than anyone else and you have to protect her. THATS CRAZY THOUGHT!! FOR THE LOVE OF FVCKING CHRIST JUST TURN HER IN!!!! DO IT!!!
An intoxicated hostile reply by your friendly neighborhood Xionide.
-Xionide
StageLeft
No Lifer
- Sep 29, 2000
- 70,150
- 5
- 0
You could document it all and be sure that you would be able to press charges in the future. Then, hanging that over her head, tell her that she is finishing rehab or you're pressing charges. You're obviously not getting her the help she needs now (not like it's your fault of course), so it's time to step it up.
Red Dawn
Elite Member
- Jun 4, 2001
- 57,529
- 3
- 0
Being incarerated ight be the only way she can be helped with her drinking problem. Whikle it might seem cruel at the time, in the long rum you could be doing her (and yourself) a favor.Originally posted by: DannyBoy
Originally posted by: z0mb13
wow man that sucks
how old are u??
maybe u should take her to a alcoholic program
The Ironic thing is it's my 22nd Birthday next wednesday, looks like I'll be having a wonderful Birthday :thumbsdown:
I've been trying to help her with her drink problem for years now, she has gone to rehab twice and left both times a week - two weeks into the 3 month course.
If I press charges she could end up in prison for a considerable amount of time, she is on a conditional discharge for assault last year, again whilst she was drunk.
She is my only family and she is the nicest possible person you could hope to meet when she's sober, but she turns into a completely different person when she's had a drink.
I like this idea and it was what I was going to post, except I don't know all the details about how to go about doing this (which medea seems to know better). Moving out may save you, but it won't save her. Sending her to rehab has already failed. This the next option.
Very tough situation ...
My first instinct is to tell you to give her a beating she'll not soon forget. But it's your mom.
I'd press charges. She'll thank you later, it's something you need to do to protect not only yourself, but her also.
My first instinct is to tell you to give her a beating she'll not soon forget. But it's your mom.
I'd press charges. She'll thank you later, it's something you need to do to protect not only yourself, but her also.
I have to agree. She either needs to get some help, or suffer the consequences of her actions. If you don't do something soon, nothing will ever change.
I guess I would say charge her....it's the ONLY thing that is going to get through to her as to how much of a problem she has.
When she apologized to you, it was the alcoholism speaking for it's survival.
Picture of the demon inside your mother.
A judge will probably not give her jail time either (at least not unless she chooses it). More than likely put her in some intensive therapy with the threat of jail hanging over her head.
When she apologized to you, it was the alcoholism speaking for it's survival.
Picture of the demon inside your mother.
A judge will probably not give her jail time either (at least not unless she chooses it). More than likely put her in some intensive therapy with the threat of jail hanging over her head.
She needs help. It appears that she knows she needs help. And obviously you know she needs help.
Talk to some counselors, there are also toll free hotlines that may help you find some good ones. You need to get her to talk to some professionals, and some of her peers (those who have drinking problems).
Talk to some counselors, there are also toll free hotlines that may help you find some good ones. You need to get her to talk to some professionals, and some of her peers (those who have drinking problems).
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