I was stabbed in the back yesterday, literally..

[pulse8]

Originally posted by: DannyBoy

Originally posted by: z0mb13
wow man that sucks

how old are u??

maybe u should take her to a alcoholic program

The Ironic thing is it's my 22nd Birthday next wednesday, looks like I'll be having a wonderful Birthday :thumbsdown:

I've been trying to help her with her drink problem for years now, she has gone to rehab twice and left both times a week - two weeks into the 3 month course.

If I press charges she could end up in prison for a considerable amount of time, she is on a conditional discharge for assault last year, again whilst she was drunk.

She is my only family and she is the nicest possible person you could hope to meet when she's sober, but she turns into a completely different person when she's had a drink.

My sister used to be in a somewhat similar situation although she wasn't really violent.

She was a VERY heavy drinker and a total b!tch when she was. When she was sober, she was the greatest person. It took something very traumatic for her to turn around and now she's a great person all the time and has been alcohol and drug free for about 2 years now.

It may be hard to do, but I think you should definitely press charges. She's only going to keep doing what she's doing if you let her.

 

[Kibbo]

I agree with Wahsapa.

I understand that turning in your mother would feel a little cold. Socrates once said that the loyalties of the family will always frustrate the actions of the state. The bonds just run too deep. Try to talk to some one from social services, see if there is a way to force her into rehab. If pressing charges will get her into that, do so. If pressing charges will just get her into prison, well, she'll probably be worse when she gets out.

This is all assuming you are an adult. If you are a child, then consider the social services thing triple underlined. The same applies if you are a teenager. Please tell us your age, to give us some context. And tell us what state/region you live in. If you're lucky, someone on here might know what your options are in this situation.

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: pulse8
Press charges. It may be the only way to get some sense into her.

I guess I just don't believe that the victim is in a position to ever "get sense" into the perpetrator.

It doesn't sound like your mom will listen to you, drunk or sober, it's likely she's just mentally unable to hear your voice... There needs to be an outside force combined with her own will in order to enact change in her life. I have a fair bit of experience dealing with alcoholics, you can believe me when I tell you: You are standing in front of a moving train, you have a choice to get out of the way, your Mother CAN choose to put the brakes on, but it's entirely up to her....

If you haven't read the A Child Called "IT" by Dave Pelzer, it might be worth your time, to at least give a bit of perspective to your circumstance.

 

[Ryan]

Jesus dude - press charges. If I lived with an abusive family member who fscking stabbed me, I'd drop their ass like a bad habit.

What were you guys arguing about?

 

[DannyBoy]

Originally posted by: PowerEngineer
Dan, you clearly have some serious problems to work through and I hope you have access to some professional help while doing so. The advice you get here may be well intentioned but not necessarily the best.

That said, I think you are right to put your own personal safety and well being first. Even if your mother completely changed her behavior today (for instance stopped drinking), it'd take a reasonable person considerable time before betting their personal safety that there wasn't going to be a relapse. I hope that you can set up some alternate living arrangements. This may well require you to share this incident with the authorities. I don't think this necessarily means that your mother will be prosecuted for stabbing you, but perhaps get her the help she obviously needs to give up drinking. It should also give you legal grounds for putting some distance between the two of you while she's doing this.

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. I hope your friends can support you through this difficult time.

I have a place to live for as long as need be, like I said I just have no idea what to do about the whole situation. I think if anything I'm still in shock over what has happened and, the thing that shocks me even more is that it *could* (god forbid) have been much, much worse.

 

[Ryan]

Jesus dude - press charges. If I lived with an abusive family member who fscking stabbed me, I'd drop their ass like a bad habit.

What were you guys arguing about?

 

[DannyBoy]

Originally posted by: rbloedow
Jesus dude - press charges. If I lived with an abusive family member who fscking stabbed me, I'd drop their ass like a bad habit.

What were you guys arguing about?

She accused me of stealing her alcohol which infact turned out to be hidden in a drawer in her bedroom.

 

[Mokmo418]

Press charges
Its your mama, maybe. But she's out of control.
She should be forced to complete that rehab.

 

[Scrooge2]

Don't press charges or call the cops, but you need to get her counciling. Good Luck!

 

[JSang]

pressing charges would be difficult....but u have to do something drastic it if she doesnt get help
its for her own good....

good luck!

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: DannyBoy

Originally posted by: z0mb13
wow man that sucks

how old are u??

maybe u should take her to a alcoholic program

The Ironic thing is it's my 22nd Birthday next wednesday, looks like I'll be having a wonderful Birthday :thumbsdown:

I've been trying to help her with her drink problem for years now, she has gone to rehab twice and left both times a week - two weeks into the 3 month course.

If I press charges she could end up in prison for a considerable amount of time, she is on a conditional discharge for assault last year, again whilst she was drunk.

She is my only family and she is the nicest possible person you could hope to meet when she's sober, but she turns into a completely different person when she's had a drink.

You don't have to decide this minute on pressing charges. Talk to your mom, tell her you love her, but you can't let her have another chance to hurt you. Tell her if she goes to rehab, and stays in, you won't press charges. The minute she drops out, you press charges, and she goes to jail. I know it's easy for me to say, not my mom, but there is nothing else you can do to help her. Letting her get away with it might be easier in the short run, but not in the long run.

You should find a group for Adult Children of Alcoholics - there are a lot of others in situations like yours, and they can really back you up and help you out. If you can't find a listing in the phone book, try calling Al-anon, they can hook you up with some support. You don't have to go thru this alone - please talk to someone who's been where you are - emotionally, I mean. My brother was an alcoholic, and I watched my parents make some tough decisions to try to help him. Thankfully, he decided to help himself.

I hope things get better for you.

 

[Munkies123]

Originally posted by: wkabel23
Give her an ultimatum: rehab or jail.

sounds good to me

 

[Ryan]

Originally posted by: Scrooge2
Don't press charges or call the cops, but you need to get her counciling. Good Luck!

Do you mind if I stab you with a knife?

 

[erikistired]

don't get her a card for mother's day. for sure.

 

[T2T III]

Press charges. I lived with an abusive mother and as an adult, I tried to talk with her about her behavior when I was a child. She was in complete denial. I only wished that I had her ass locked up when she was doing the crap she was doing.

I left home 22 years ago when I became an adult. I've only been back once in the past 18 years and my ex-mother is not welcome in my home.

 

[PlatinumGold]

Originally posted by: DannyBoy

Originally posted by: rbloedow
Jesus dude - press charges. If I lived with an abusive family member who fscking stabbed me, I'd drop their ass like a bad habit.

What were you guys arguing about?

She accused me of stealing her alcohol which infact turned out to be hidden in a drawer in her bedroom.

do you not see the problem with that? not only did she stab you but she did it because she couldn't find her booze.

i'd say that's ironic.

 

[ABitTooSpicy]

I understand its your mother, but dude, lets say this happens again... what if you aren't as lucky next time... she needs to do something about her alcohol problem and obviously whatever she is trying to do is not working...

I would go down to the local police station and sit down and have a chat with someone, find out what your options are, maybe having her locked up in a minimum security prison for a short time and some counceling of sorts might help...

Whatever you do, just make sure you do something... don't just ignore it, because it might happen again...

 

[PunDogg]

press charges, it will teach her a lesson, and might make her take alchol abuse classes or what not. I think not doing anything would just be bad for both of you

Dogg

 

[Bryophyte]

Originally posted by: DannyBoy

Originally posted by: z0mb13
where does she get her money??

no $$$ no booze

so maybe u should cut her $$$ supply

I have no idea, it appears out of nowhere at times, she doesn't even have any friends that I know of to 'borrow' off of, she doesn't work and I _certainly_ don't fuel her drinking habit.

Some people with substance abuse problems steal or prostitute themselves to pay for their habit. I'm not saying she's doing that, but she's assaulted someone in the past, and tried to kill you over a bottle. If she'll stab her own son over a bottle, what else would she do?

You need to be making sure she is safe, whether she is locked up or otherwise. If she's the nice person you say she is when she's sober, how will she live with herself when she's had a chance to absorb what she's done next time she's sober?

 

[Geekbabe]

Mom needs evaluation and treatment in a medical facility that specialies in substance abuse.

 

[sillymofo]

Does she make her own money? If not, then do not give her any money. Whatever she needs, you buy, so that would illiminate the possibility of her buying alcohol. If she makes her own money, then hide her alcohol, or just dump it as she buys it. You guys might be out of money for a month, but eventually, she'll get the point. You can also try the ghetto drug rehab method, which is chain her to her bed, leave a long enough slack so she can perform her own hygiene, and feed her. She'll be alright after a week.

Make sure you inform your family of your action, without your mom knowing, it might be good to inform the authority also so they know of your intention. That way, she won't be able to press charges against you for detaining her. Make sure you document everything, so if the question ever arise, you'll have back up. It will be hard to explain to the authority what has happened, because you don't really wanna tell them your mother stabbed you, for a mandatory assault with deadly weapons (or worse, attempted murder) charge might follow suit.

Well, good luck, I hope your family is with you on this. I wish there's an easy solution for my problems that I'm facing right now.

 

[JacobJ]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: DannyBoy

Originally posted by: z0mb13
wow man that sucks

how old are u??

maybe u should take her to a alcoholic program

The Ironic thing is it's my 22nd Birthday next wednesday, looks like I'll be having a wonderful Birthday :thumbsdown:

I've been trying to help her with her drink problem for years now, she has gone to rehab twice and left both times a week - two weeks into the 3 month course.

If I press charges she could end up in prison for a considerable amount of time, she is on a conditional discharge for assault last year, again whilst she was drunk.

She is my only family and she is the nicest possible person you could hope to meet when she's sober, but she turns into a completely different person when she's had a drink.

You don't have to decide this minute on pressing charges. Talk to your mom, tell her you love her, but you can't let her have another chance to hurt you. Tell her if she goes to rehab, and stays in, you won't press charges. The minute she drops out, you press charges, and she goes to jail. I know it's easy for me to say, not my mom, but there is nothing else you can do to help her. Letting her get away with it might be easier in the short run, but not in the long run.

You should find a group for Adult Children of Alcoholics - there are a lot of others in situations like yours, and they can really back you up and help you out. If you can't find a listing in the phone book, try calling Al-anon, they can hook you up with some support. You don't have to go thru this alone - please talk to someone who's been where you are - emotionally, I mean. My brother was an alcoholic, and I watched my parents make some tough decisions to try to help him. Thankfully, he decided to help himself.

I hope things get better for you.

Sounds like great advice.

 

[yhelothar]

I wouldn't press charges. She's an alcoholic, it's a disease. She's mentally ill, and she does not have any hate towards you.
If she stabbed you out of spite, then I would press charges. She clearly did not, so what she needs is rehab.

I think she would realize she has an alcohol problem after doing something on this scale. She shouldn't have too hard of a time convincing herself to get rehab.

 

[AmerDoux]

She has had a drinking problem for years. She has bailed out of rehab at least twice. She is on conditional probation for an assualt last year. She physically assualted you which resulted in a stab wound.

You can love your mother but that does not mean you stand by and do nothing. How many more episodes before you decide to act? Who gets hurt next time? Alcohics do not have any sense of other peoples boundaries. You need to go to counseling as much as she does. You need to learn how to set boundaries with her and what the consequences will be if she breaks them. Otherwise, this will continue and you may very well end up seriously hurt/dead.

My vote is you call the police now but since you are asking people, I doubt you are emotionally ready to do this yet. Go get some counseling so you can learn to deal with her.

Best of luck

 

[DannyBoy]

I appreciate everyone's concern and opinions, I guess I will have to see what happens and trust my instinct.

nn for now.