I was stabbed in the back yesterday, literally..

[DannyBoy]

I live with an alcoholic mother who caused an argument ending up with me being stabbed in the back with a kitchen knife yesterday.

Luckily she didn't do any major damage as I got away before she could cause anymore damage other than a 2 inch slice an inch deep through some flesh in my back, which was patched up yesterday in the hospital.

This may come as a shock to most people, but I'm stuck in a situation where I don't know what to do in regards to the police now and, seeing as I'm very fond of the Anandtech community I'm hoping one or two of you maybe able to help.

I'm staying with some friends at the moment and I spoke with her today, she was sober and very apologetic. The problem I have is whether or not to press charges against her with the police, I don't know what to do in regards to that. If I do take her to court I don't know if I could live with myself even after what she did, but on the other hand if I do nothing I don't want her to get the impression that she didn't do anything majorly wrong.

She is somewhat screwed up in the head and I've been trying my hardest to care for her and help her get better and I've dealt with a lot of crap from her the past few years, but now she has done this I don't know if I could ever forgive her for it and I don't know if I could ever feel safe around her while she's drunk ever again.

I guess I'm looking for an outside opinion on what I should do, I hope somebody may be able to give me an answer to whatever it is I'm trying to find out.


Cheers

 

[minendo]

Press charges. Next time you or someone else may not be as lucky.

 

[z0mb13]

wow man that sucks

how old are u??

maybe u should take her to a alcoholic program

 

[Nebor]

I couldn't press charges.... Maybe some family counseling?

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Uh, dude. Mother or not, she stabbed you in the back. Do you need a fscking master's to figure this out?

- M4H

 

Offer her an ultimatum: tell her that unless she goes into a live-in treatment program, you'll go to the police and press charges. Tell her it's either get rid of the drink or get rid of her freedom. She WILL go to jail, or at least have you taken away if you go to the police.

 

[MikeMike]

charge her, it doesnt matter if she is your mother or not. she did something illegal.

MIKE

 

[Gurck]

That's a tough call man... I'd try to work it out without outside involvement though.

 

[Koing]

It is a fvcked up situation dude

Good luck but it is a dam hard situation either way...

How is the wound now?

Koing

 

[PlatinumGold]

if you can afford it get her some help. serious help. if you can't afford it press charges. hopefully the whole going to court experience will force her to re evaluate her life.

 

[RegularK]

:shocked:

That's just astonishing. Maybe you should just sit her down when she's sober and tell her that she needs serious help. Tell her how you feel...that this behavior is not tolerable, and she needs to stop drinking. If she can't do it on her own, then she needs to go to some sort of a clinic or something.

btw, hope you're doing alrite.


KiM

Edit: Under usual circumstances, I would agree with pressing charges. I'm not sure how good your relationship is with your mother, normally...but if you want a relationship with her later on...she may be resentful towards you *not sure if she's the kind of woman who would be thankful to you for opening her eyes..or resent you for sending her off*

On the other hand, she's proven herself to be a threat to others...

 

[z0mb13]

where does she get her money??

no $$$ no booze

so maybe u should cut her $$$ supply

 

[HappyPuppy]

Originally posted by: minendo
Press charges. Next time you or someone else may not be as lucky.

I agree. Your mother needs to be locked up to protect the innocent, including you. Hopefully she will get some help, but eithere way she is out of control and may do serious bodily harm to someone if you don't press charges and testify against her.

Good luck.

 

[AaronB]

While it shouldn't matter, I really want to know your age.

Either way, it's a tough call. A mother that would try to kill her son (don't kid yourself otherwise here) is extremely disturbed and really needs help. Willingly or not.

 

[TechnoKid]

a person who stabs you in the back should not be mothering you. you say "it was the alcohol," then i say that a loving and caring mother would not drink so much in the first place as to where she wouldn't have control of her action towards you.

 

[SynthDude2001]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Uh, dude. Mother or not, she stabbed you in the back. Do you need a fscking master's to figure this out?

- M4H

:thumbsup:

Seriously, I don't even see why there's any doubt as to what you should do. Alcoholic + stabbing = you shouldn't have to live like that.

 

[DannyBoy]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
wow man that sucks

how old are u??

maybe u should take her to a alcoholic program

The Ironic thing is it's my 22nd Birthday next wednesday, looks like I'll be having a wonderful Birthday :thumbsdown:

I've been trying to help her with her drink problem for years now, she has gone to rehab twice and left both times a week - two weeks into the 3 month course.

If I press charges she could end up in prison for a considerable amount of time, she is on a conditional discharge for assault last year, again whilst she was drunk.

She is my only family and she is the nicest possible person you could hope to meet when she's sober, but she turns into a completely different person when she's had a drink.

 

[Nitemare]

Lock her up. She needs some tough love

 

[DannyBoy]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
where does she get her money??

no $$$ no booze

so maybe u should cut her $$$ supply

I have no idea, it appears out of nowhere at times, she doesn't even have any friends that I know of to 'borrow' off of, she doesn't work and I _certainly_ don't fuel her drinking habit.

 

[wkabel23]

Give her an ultimatum: rehab or jail.

 

[pulse8]

Press charges. It may be the only way to get some sense into her.

 

[DannyBoy]

Originally posted by: Koing
It is a fvcked up situation dude

Good luck but it is a dam hard situation either way...

How is the wound now?

Koing

the knife hit my rib which in turn stopped the blade puncturing my lung. The doctor said had it been a mil higher or lower and, well.

Don't get me wrong it hurts like hell but lucky for me it's just a very nasty, deep clean cut.

 

[Wahsapa]

you HAVE to commit her to a live-in alcohol treament center. you HAVE to. she has a problem, pressing changes isnt going to do much. find a program that will help her, she needs to go sober.

mothers who would hurt there sons have HUGE mental issues that jail wont address. she needs help, you HAVE to commit her to some program. you HAVE to, as her son you need to help her.

 

[PowerEngineer]

Dan, you clearly have some serious problems to work through and I hope you have access to some professional help while doing so. The advice you get here may be well intentioned but not necessarily the best.

That said, I think you are right to put your own personal safety and well being first. Even if your mother completely changed her behavior today (for instance stopped drinking), it'd take a reasonable person considerable time before betting their personal safety that there wasn't going to be a relapse. I hope that you can set up some alternate living arrangements. This may well require you to share this incident with the authorities. I don't think this necessarily means that your mother will be prosecuted for stabbing you, but perhaps get her the help she obviously needs to give up drinking. It should also give you legal grounds for putting some distance between the two of you while she's doing this.

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you. I hope your friends can support you through this difficult time.

Edit: Just saw the mention of the assault charge last year. If she's already tried and failed at rehab twice, then maybe stronger measures are required now before she or someone else gets badly hurt. I am glad to hear that you are 22; I was afraid you might have been in your teens.

 

[Turkish]

Originally posted by: DannyBoy

Originally posted by: z0mb13
wow man that sucks

how old are u??

maybe u should take her to a alcoholic program

The Ironic thing is it's my 22nd Birthday next wednesday, looks like I'll be having a wonderful Birthday :thumbsdown:

I've been trying to help her with her drink problem for years now, she has gone to rehab twice and left both times a week - two weeks into the 3 month course.

If I press charges she could end up in prison for a considerable amount of time, she is on a conditional discharge for assault last year, again whilst she was drunk.

She is my only family and she is the nicest possible person you could hope to meet when she's sober, but she turns into a completely different person when she's had a drink.

Wow man. I'm sorry I dunno what I would do... Good luck and let us know.